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It Takes Two To Tango

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In Marriage, problems and struggles always arise; for some, the obstacles become so great that the only way to overcome them is through the permanent separation of their union. Unfortunately, most marriages end up doing it but is that actually a panacea? This is why there should be no limit to how couples should celebrate themselves so long as they continue to stay tied in peace, love and harmony. Therefore, if  you think that it is all an etravagant display of wealth and affluence, when couples call for a momentry celebration of their togetherness over a period of time,  then you may need to come in contact with divorcees, males, females, who could not tolerate  the heat of the cohabitation of two persons of different backgrounds made to act as one. Until you  understand why  a woman or man would resort to singlehood after testing marriage for a period of time,  even with children to their kitty, you would not see reason to applaud, appreciate those who still kept their nuptial knot tied for a period of time ranging from two years and above.
No wonder invitees  to magnificent events  like 70 years and above birthday anniversaries or 20 years and above marriage anniversary, are always enthusiastic to register their  attendance.  Their  enthusiasm I guess, may have been  spurred by a quest to use the occasion as a stepping stone in  their  own lives. For  me , not only do I  admire the celebrants,   I am inspired to toe their positive lines, for my own future.  I do believe that I am not alone in that world of people who get lost in  halucination, imagining themselves in the real action as  they watch the celebrating couples magestically March through the variedly colourful and  dignified congregation  of invitees.
The event of Tuesday, September  27, 2022,  calls to mind,  the scenerio highlighted above,  an occasion every sane mind  would always treasure as the crowd gathered to  savour the euphoria of a celebration of a milestone in marriage: The 40 years marriage anniversary of Amaopusenibo (Dr) Stephen & Dr (Mrs) Margaret Hart at St Cyprain’s Anglican Church, 37 Hospital Road, PortHarcourt, which  reception party took place at Hago Heights Event Centre, Peter Odili Road, Port Harcourt. It was indeed a convention of the creme de la societe’.  Of course, there couldn’t have been any better way to  congratulate a  woman who has put up with a  spouse she did not know from Adam,  for as long as 40 years.  She  accommodated his ugly sides and presented him to the outside world as one who knew no sin and so without blemish. How well also will a man  be celebrated for having a heart of gold for always willing to lose arguments, having patience, love and being faithful even when they got into big fights.
Hurray, Dr & Dr (Mrs) Stephen Hart have hit 40 years  mark!  A marriage that lasts  this long is considered a rare and beautiful thing, a blessing in disguise, and the celebration that accompanies this milestone  would remain memorable as it was quite colourful to behold. No doubt, when people get married, they unite with  the idea of having a life-long partner to share the beautiful moments in life.  For Dr & Dr (Mrs) Stephen Hart, 40 years in marriage were not 40 hours, 40 days nor 40 months in marriage. Any one who had gone through this journey like our celebrants would attest that  the cruise was never entirely  smooth but sometimes garnished with rough weather,  yet each season was recieved with utmost good faith, as they sailed together,  through thick and thin for as long as 40 years. A union divinely masterminded and blessed with four offspring, the couple’s strength no doubt,  had always been anchored on the fact that  the steps of the righteous are  ordered by God, as they have kept trusting in the Lord without  leaning on their own understanding. This is as they have made tolerance, consideration  for one another as well as  mutual respect key in their relationship.
They both may not have been any angel thrown down to dwell among mortals,no, but their ability to believe in the workability of their unity even though in diversity brought them this far. Today, this couple is celebrated as mentors, not only to upcoming couples, but also to those whose relationship dwindles, and are at the verge of collapse, who may be misled into thinking that divorce is a sucour worth seeking. To the young, they sue for commitment towards actualisation of God’s purpose in their union, laying greater emphasis on  the virtues of love,  patience, sincerity,  submission, and mutual respect.
Dr & Dr (Mrs) Stephen Hart believe that sound  communication with consideration for each other’s  feelings must be deliberately exercised to grease the wheel of  every marriage relationship. Above all, they enjoin other couples to cultivate the habit of praying together for each other, and be committed to the things of God, making Christ  the centre piece of their marriage and  the foundation of the union, seeing that we can do all things through his strengthening, as recorded in Philippians, 4:13.

By: Sylvia ThankGod- Amadi

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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