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Eliminating Gender-Based Violence

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Ever since women gathered in Beijing, in 1995 to deliberate on issues of concern to the women in general, issues on gender-based violence has gained much prominence in newspaper, magazines and books.

  While some people suggest that the issue is being over flooded, others justify its constant publication, until the desired attention is attracted.

   Gender-base cases have remained unbearably persistent in spite of the many voices raised against it. Rather than assuming the posture of a monster rejected by the public, it is perpetrated as a development welcomed and encouraged by the society.

By the day, different faces of this ugly monster emerge; ranging from physical, sexual, or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, be it in private or public life.

According to a recent UN Fund for Women’s (UNIFEM) report on violence against women, the physical harm ranks highest. The report states that on the average, at least six out of ten women have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused by an intimate partner in the course of their life time.

In Nigeria in particular, there has been increasing reports of sexual abuse of infants and young girls, with ages ranging from two to sixteen years, in places such as homes, schools, and places of worship.

Following this trend, the Minister of Women Affairs and Social Development, Mrs Josephine Anenih, has joined millions of activists calling for an end to injustice against womanhood.

In her recently launched campaign tagged “Sixteen Days of Activism Against Gender-based Violence Against Women”, the minister described the plight of the woman as a pathetic one she moans: “the story of violence against women is a sorry one; across the world, women remain vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.

Mrs Anenih, highlights the inadequacy of appropriate penalties to deter perpetrators of this inhuman act as a basic challenge in eliminating gender-based violence. According to her, it has been observed that there are obstacles in the enforcement of extant laws, procedures which make it extremely difficult for women to get relief from existing legal instruments.

Corroborating the point raised by the minister, some concerned citizens explained that “in Nigeria, most law enforcement officers, especially the police, traditionally treat cases relating to domestic violence against women differently from other violence crimes only to blame their poor response on the dearth of relevant laws to back up their intervention:, hence,  painting a picture of a weak legal system in this regard.

Dr. Abiodun Ogundoyin of the engender project, a non governmental organisation, explains that the police’s nonchalant disposition to cases of domestic violence is predicated on the premise that it is some what regarded as a family problem which the police often try to avoid and whenever they handle such cases, they often resort to blaming the molested woman inspite of her victimisation, adding that “even in countries with strong legal systems, law enforcement institutions have historically responded to domestic and sexual violence with bias, neglect and mistreatment” .

However, Mrs Oby Nwankwo, Executive Director, Civil Resource Development and Documentation Centre (CRDDOC) does not view the Nigerian legal system as weak in dealing with violence against women.

She insists that the 1999 constitution has specific provision on fundamental human rights, including right to life, dignity of human beings and right not to be subjected to cruel inhuman and degrading treatments.

She added, “the criminal code prohibits unlawful assault  occasioning harm and indecent assault. These various forms of assault do not exclude those perpetrated at home by persons such as husbands or in-laws- Nwankwo highlighted some laws enacted by some states House of Assemblies prohibiting some gender-base violence ranging from girl-child marriage and female circumcision as well as  obnoxious widowhood practices etc.

However, inspite of all these machineries put in place to check the excesses of the perpetrators of these heinous acts on womanhood, Mr Osemhenjie Desmond, a programme officer in the Nigerian Office of (UNIFEM) still sees no succour in sight as women and girls continue to suffer molestation in the society.

All the same, stopping violence against women remains a moral imperative and all hands must be on deck to combat this heinous crime. 

 

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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