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Early Marriage And Girl-Child Dev

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Early marriage occurs when the persons involved are in the ages of 13 and 15 years. In fact any marriage contracted before the age of 18 is termed early marriage.
Early marriage has become a problem affecting many nations, cultures, religion and ethnic groups.
In early marriage, the girl-child is always the one to suffer the consequences because it is associated with many problems.  In most cases the partner, that is the man, is usually older and more experienced. In the first place, she may not have completed her secondary education to be more knowledgeable in making the right choice in terms of marriage.
A situation where a 13-year-old girl will be forced and given to a 50-year-old man in marriage should be condemned. This may happen due to certain reasons. The truth is that some of the marriages involving minors as we have seen do not last. The cause of some divorce cases in recent times are as a result of early marriages. After marrying in ignorance, as the girl becomes aware of things she never knew before the marriage will begin to make moves to quit. I have seen a girl whose parents forced into marriage with an old man. When she later saw that her mates were getting married to younger men she simply withdrew.  Others may demand to complete their secondary education or to further into tertiary institutions.
Parents will sometimes push their girl-child into marriage feeling that she is a burden to them, so giving her out in marriage will reduce the liability on them. Some parents are of the opinion that girls who go into marriage on time, will have more chances of pregnancy and children than graduates. Anybody can still have children after school, it just depends on planning.
I want to say that the problems associated with early marriage outweigh the gains. There is also this inequality between boys and girls which emanates from harmful social and gender norms, they will say the incomes they have should be used to train their male children since the girl will leave the parents’ family one day while the male child will remain.
Parents, think that when girls get married on time, it will protect them from violence and insecurity, but in our society today, mature married women are also kidnapped and raped.
Others feel that younger wives are more submissive than the older ones as well as dowries paid on younger ones are less than when the woman becomes a graduate and gets more mature.
Many early marriages had caused our girls to drop out of school. In these days of civilisation, socialisation and computer age, even if a girl completes her secondary education at 18, it is still early.  An 18-year-old girl needs more awareness on marriage. Marriage is not something you jump in and out, it has to do with maturity in mind, soul and education.
Education acquired in character and in learning will guide her in managing herself when she finally settles down. With this level of education and empowerment, she can cope when the spouse is not doing enough.
I have seen a situation where a girl who got married with a school certificate requested to further her education and the husband refused and said she must give birth to children as much as he wants first. If the man  is not a graduate may be apprehensive that the woman will become his rival one day.
Most underage in marriage usually end up as full-time housewives. Being a  full-time housewife has its own implications.  A wife without empowerment that will depend on her husband for everything. When her demands are not met troubles may occur.
When a girl gets married at a tender age, the right choice may not be there. Recommendation comes through friends, relatives and well-wishers. This kind of marriage comes with persuasion and at the end of the day problems occur because she never made the choice herself. When a lady gets mature before marriage, she can handle issues that may arise. She chooses her spouse herself perhaps after courtship, in this case, will not blame anyone if problems arise.
Pregnancy and childbearing have to do with maturity. A minor or an adolescent who is unable to manage herself going into marriage will definitely end up frustrated. One who behaves like a baby cannot take care of another baby. At night she may fall asleep and abandon the baby while he or she is crying.
In girl-child pregnancy, the danger of being infected with one form of disease or the other is there. Underage mothers have difficulty in labour because according to medical experts the muscles in the hip and all the mechanism that facilitate delivery may not have developed. The cervix and the uterus which connect the womb may be affected which can lead to cervical cancer. The complication could lead to the death of both mother and child.
Furthermore, early marriage can occur when a man forcefully impregnates a girl and the parents ask the man to take her for a wife, the man could decide to drop her later. When that happens the girl becomes a single parent. This is a situation parents should guide against.
To put a stop to this in our society, government should enforce laws that will protect girls from forceful marriages and rape cases. Any rape case concerning our girls should be taken seriously and the perpetrator be brought to book.
I call on the Ministry of Social Welfare and other relevant agencies saddled with the responsibility of protecting the girl-child and women to review policies and programmes that will educate communities and our schools at secondary and tertiary levels on the dangers associated with girls and early marriages.
More awareness should be raised and in fact, we engage local and religious leaders, parents, informing them that empowerment of girls through education and employment is necessary.
When girls go to school, the knowledge they gain help protect them from illnesses, unwanted pregnancies and social vices.
Educated girls gain certain potentials, social and economic status in the society. They contribute to the health care and welfare of their immediate and extended families as well as where they from with the income got from jobs after graduation.
An empowered girl-child can cater for her family in the absence of her husband.
Remember, train a woman and you train a nation.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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