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The Role Of Women In Girl-Child Dev

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The world over, the Girl-Child is being celebrated annually not just because of their importance, but I think because of their peculiar nature. A female specie in the family that is faced with many life challenges.
They need care and should be celebrated even on a daily basis. Every good parent should not wait until the recommended date to commemorate the “International Day of the Girl-Child” in a year before the girl is celebrated.
Every good parenting rests solely on the mother.  The mother is the female parent in a family.  Good parenting practices must be showcased by women in homes.
Bringing up the girl-child in the right way requires understanding the girl’s developmental stages.  Choice of best styles of parenting tips is very important and effective use of the tips are also important.
Women should not be very authoritative when dealing with the girl-child. Deal with her in a manner that you allow her  express herself.
Permitting her to attend programmes that are not just religious but  programmes that will assist her in other life endeavours.
A mother should be in involved in the activities of the girl.  Find out what she does on the computer and hand phones (pinging).
A mother can never neglect her girl-child due to misunderstanding no matter how serious that issue may be.  She is still your child.  That mother/child bond must be maintained.
We are talking about the adolescent age, where the girl has started realizing what life is about.  At this stage, self-esteem  comes in. If the parent does not provide most of the needs of the girl-child, she may be tempted to start looking outside for assistance.  That ego that she is getting mature is definitely going to be there.
There are pretty things she needs for upkeep.  The choice of perfumery/toiletries comes in here. It is important that her undies are made available especially when the “monthly visitor” arrives.  A mother must move a step further to ensure that her girl is clean.
At this stage, she may be a student without purchasing power.  This is one of the greatest problems she has which the opposite sex does not.  If it is a family that finds it difficult to have 3-square meal per day, it exposes her to danger.
Disciplining the girl-child should be consistent, don’t skip days and weeks and must be limited. Excess of it may not work well in her life.
As women, don’t spend all the time on work and business and get the best result from them.
According to a child psychologist, the greatest problem in good parenting is time factor.  If women give more time to their female children, they will be free from STDs, HIV/AIDs unwanted pregnancy.
At the adolescent stage,  communication must be prioritised. A mother should be able to identify the problems associated with the age, sit her down and teach the dos and don’ts of the game. There must be effective communication between the mother and daughter since they are of the same sex. This is very important because there is a limit to a discussion between a father and daughter.
The girl-child deserves to be listened to and every mother must be a good listener. If you don’t listen carefully to your child, it can lead to communication breakdown.
Flexibility in the kind of decisions taken as a mother is important. In nurturing the adolescent girl, a mother should be  willing to adjust her parenting styles.
Mothers should bear in mind that female-child has the right to be born well and wants to have a wholesome family life.  She wants to be raised well to become a contributing member of the home and the society at large.
When you interact with them sometimes, you hear the kind of beautiful lives they want to live and achievements in future.   These can only manifest when the girl is put on the right path. They dream big when foundation is strongly built.
Basic needs of food, clothing and in fact basic education are very important if our girls have to be comfortable. Sometimes you hear them grumbling if their needs are not available.
It we must get it right, the female children must play when necessary and enjoy their youth.  We must protect them from danger because they are endangered species. When she falls into prey, unwanted pregnancy can occur, so that is the reason why they must live in a peaceful and productive environment.
They must be cared for.  Freedom is very important but to an extent.
A mother must continue to nurture the girl-child till she becomes a woman. Nurturing should not be at the adolescent stage we are celebrating annually but should start from birth through infancy, pre-school age to the adolescent stage.
At the crucial age of 11-18, even upto 20 years, the girl needs to be under parental authority as against her own wish.
In this era of higher need of academic pursuit and technology, the girl must excel.  The girl-child must be moulded so as to be able to represent parents well wherever she may find herself.
There are certain traits mothers need to know which manifest at the adolescent age. Some call it tempting age.  In a family where everyone goes to church together or in a family car, but the adolescents in the house will like to go alone to church.  A child who gets ready for school at 7am, suddenly stays in the bedroom till 7:30am and stands at the mirror for a couple of minutes and gets ready by 8am.  That shows that maturity is setting in with a lot of changes.
A good mother has to be calm, loving and caring considering that it is a stage of contradiction of likes and dislikes, hate, love, fear and trust.  If the foundation laid by mothers at the zero stage is solid, there will be mutual understanding.
Mothers must be careful at this stage because their reactions to changes may stop or hinder the girl or cause withdrawal.  The girl-child may also decide to run out of home.  In this case, mothers should use love to bring them back to reasoning because they become irrational sometimes.
When they begin to keep peers, mother must know whom their friends are.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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