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Women And Harmful Practices

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The bill for prohibition of harmful practices against women at the National Assembly is a welcome development.
Severally, there have been talks, seminars, workshops, fora, arguments, bills and laws abolishing issues that concern women, especially violence.  But a lot has not been achieved to curtail the menace.
Violence against girls and women has been on the increase.  From time to time, it is either girls are denied access to father’s property or a widow is denied inheritance to husband’s properties.  Even when laws are put in place about things that will help women have their rights, some persons feel that culture and tradition do not permit.
We are aware that some women are rich and may not want to partake in the share of their late parents’ property, but there are vulnerable ones who need to be empowered, through perhaps, late parents’ property inheritance.
Some of the obnoxious laws were made before now without the consent of women. There was no representative to either argue for or against so as to be beneficial to women generally.  Some of the laws were so primitive that even when civilisation came, became difficult to change. Very unfortunately, it is the women that execute the laws made by men in their absence. Women are suffering it.
If the bill abolishing certain practices against women and girls will be passed into law by the National Assembly, it will be better for them.  For long, laws against female genital mutilation and circumcision have existed but some communities with their culture and tradition have refused to put a stop to it with reasons best known to them.
Circumcision of a full-grown girl or lady may not be the only way of attaining maturity. It is a harmful practice and the pain associated with it cannot be imagined.  This illegal operation is not performed in the hospital so the dangers inherent will be much.
For those who still practice it, the menace should be discouraged as that is not a proper way of ushering a girl into womanhood. A lot of women lose their lives due to pains experienced during the process. it was practised in the past when civilisation was not there, it is a different case, nowadays with science and technology proving it wrong, those who still practise not should resist.
It is a right step in the right direction and it is time the National Assembly and all stakeholders intensified efforts in dealing with persons who perpetuate evil against their fellow women.
If the bill will be passed into law by the National Assembly, it is welcome but the fear that comes to mind is implementation.  The issue has been dwelt on for decades, but it is still practised as big ceremonies in some communities.
When it comes to inheritance, a girl born into a family, married or unmarried will be denied access to father’s property but if it has to do with the demise of parents or sickness, the woman and the husband will be mandated to provide a cow for the burial rites or offset medical bills.
If the National Assembly makes laws concerning the well-being of women, community heads, molecular leaders, women groups and associations, religious organisations, Non-Governmental Organisations NGOs and civil society organisations (CSOs) should create more awareness through the media to sensitise rural dwellers.
In this digital era, it should be forbidden that a woman loses her spouse and she is mandated to drink water used on the late husband.
The items in the bill to be passed into law by the National Assembly are in order as it concerns women.
A legal practitioner,  Tam Jacobs, said if one forcefully shaves a woman’s hair with the intention that she is mourning her late spouse, she can sue that person for assault.
He said if the woman is forced to drink water used on her late husband’s body, she can also sue for attempted murder.
According to him, several cases of girl-child inheritance have been won and documented in the law court but some cannot claim it.
“Even a widow who is handicapped may not be able to make attempts so NGOs, CSOs should be in the forefront to support them and ensure that the laws are implemented at the grassroots level where they are practised”, he said.
A pharmacist, Eno Amos said any culture that does not add colour and value to life should be abolished.
She added that implementation can be easy in the cities where awareness has been created but expressed fear that it may not be easy in the rural areas where culture is really practised.
A business woman, Agnes Ugwu, said tradition and culture were made by man and not God and wondered why people who claim to be educated still follow the tradition of ancestors who never went to school.
Ignorance also comes to play here.  If you have watched a documentary showing female genital mutilation and the gory experience the young women go through, is something else.  Some of the perpetrators claim that the practice has existed for ages. Women have to learn more about issues that concern them.
A nurse, Rosy Ekeocha, said it is not about culture but about the behavior of a group of people in the community who force it on others.
According to her, let people change their behaviour and leave culture alone.  It doesn’t happen in every family and if any family allows it that’s their business.
She said we are in the 21st century, certain culture and tradition need to be reviewed to ensure that they allign with today’s reality.
Culture is dynamic she said, but that implementation of laws relating to the vulnerable in the society calls for concern.
We should not behave the way people behaved five dacades ago, after all, we do not dress the way our forefathers dressed.  Time has evolved and things are getting better as it concerns women. We are getting more exposed and more enlightened about issues that concern is.  Information is moving round as the world is a global village.
Talking about culture nowadays, we wear shoes whereas our forefathers never had any.  They walked barefooted
far distances to get family necessities but things are better now as we are mobile.
That should also happen to culture and tradition.  There are certain aspects of our culture and tradition which are practised today that have expired long ago. We should get rid off them.
It is expected that the bills abolishing obnoxious practices against women and girls in the society will achieve expected results when passed into law at the floor of the House.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women, Birth And Population Control

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Some persons due to religious belief are not in support of family planning. For birth control to be effective, we must redefine our religious belief of “Na God dey give pikin”. Some believe that family planning is evil. Let such practice not deceive women.
It is important to have children for many reasons but it should not be abused.
Women should be sensitized in this regard. Not just that, empowerment is also necessary for such category of women. When a woman is empowered and busy, she produces less unlike when she is idle. Her spouse may want her to be producing as many children as possible since that may be the only work she can do.
The woman’s body needs rest. She does not have to stress herself every year to make babies. Pregnancy is not food that can be forced into a woman’s mouth.
The awareness should start from the rural areas because that is where the issue is. Although many of them have been sensitized severally. There are also those in the urban and it’s environs have got enough information about family planning.
Another way women can help solve the problem is when they refuse to make themselves available as second, third and fourth wives. Women should not present themselves as second-hand materials.
The female gender need stay alive to nurture the ones they have got. I’m not sure there’s any award for highest child bearing family.
There’s always competition in polygamous homes where some women want to be seen as the champion in highest number of children they cannot cater for. If a lady gets married to a single man, both of them will plan the family the way it will suit them.
It is worrisome to see a family whose income is below standard giving birth to seven to ten children. Taking 3-square meal becomes a problem. Children fighting on small quantities of food. In such situation, a lot of the children drop out of school and engage in social vices.
Another measure has to do with avoidance of illicit sex. Women should discuss and note when to meet their husbands. The mentality that my husband will not support should be discouraged. If women seek the opinion of their husbands in the right way, definitely they will get their support.
There is nothing wrong about that.
Women experience safe period monthly so should calculate appropriately. They can have protected sex which will not produce a child at the end of the day.
When you visit the health facilities, especially during anti- natal sessions, the professionals always teach the women what to do.
There are instances where women discouraged their folks from family planning and at the end of the day regret when pregnancy occurs. Women cannot control child bearing by listening to older ones in the neighborhood. That someone is older than you does not mean that she will help you control unnecessary child- bearing.
Time has come when husbands should support their wives in that regard.
It has also been recorded that some cultures go against birth control so orientation and re-orientation should continue in families, community and the society at large.
Recently the world observed world population day and it was discovered that population is increasing rapidly.
Report has it that population rate in Nigeria is approximately 229.1m.
Unfortunately, some births are allegedly not registered in the approved health facilities as it becomes difficult to get the accurate number of births per day.
Government at every level can help with policies that can help control birth and manage population. Beyond that, families should be assisted in providing social needs because having more children will increase poverty.
Maximum of two to three children can help reduce population. In years past, relevant authorities had proposed four children per family but I am in doubt if that policy is still working.
When population is reduced, everyone in the society will be carried along including People Living With Disability.
Government has a great role to play but the human beings who bear and produce children have greater role to play.
This year’s theme is: “Leave no one behind, count everyone”.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

 

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Why Ladies Should Go For High, Quality Shoes

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One of the easiest ways to tell how fashionable and stylish a woman is, is through the quality of her shoes. Yes, expensive shoes separate the women from the girls. Someone can have fashionable wardrobe without paying a fortune for it, but when it’s time to buy fashionable shoes, one should expect to spend more time and money to select quality and expensive shoes.
Some people may argue that it is waste of money spending thousands of naira on a pair of shoes when they can use the same amount to buy three or more pairs that are of low quality. But on the contrary, buying expensive shoes signify wisdom, because they last longer than the cheaper ones. And so, you can have three or four expensive, quality pair of shoes and not border about shoes for many years.
The truth is that it is better to buy quality shoes that are more expensive than buying cheaper ones that will not last.
Besides, luxurious shoes are usually hand-made, which means people will take care of sewing quality shoes and guarantee a quality finish.
Quality shoes should therefore, have less manufacturing mistakes, have a better overall finishing and should last longer. The little details added in the finishing create an extra element of style. They will also increase the durability of the shoes.
Apart from the quality and durability of the shoes, wearing exclusive ones will definitely help polish one’s image. The quality of shoes a lady wears will tell the public the kind of person and the kind of job or business she is engaged. This image can make a big difference between an ordinary woman and a woman with expensive shoes during ceremonies. In addition, note that poor quality shoes are especially noticeable when someone is well dressed because of the contrast it creates. Low priced shoes are usually associated with cheap mannerisms and I wonder how many women like cheap ones.
One important thing to note about high shoes is the fact that they are suitable to short and average height ladies.
The high healed-shoes can increase their heights artificially. These heely shoes may not be necessary for tall ladies.
They may not also be suitable for those who are advanced in age.
So why don’t you spend more money on quality shoes and prove that you have arrived?

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women Can Build Formidable Marital Homes

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Building formidable marital homes starts before marriage. Single women also need to pick the right kind of person they think can build a formidable home with them.
When you marry the wrong person, the home will be a terrible place. Remember the person you will marry will leave with you forever as marriage is a life long affair.
To build a formidable marriage, you must consider who you marry. Ensure the person you pick mWomen can build formidable marital home with you.
The person you pick matters a lot. The quality of person determines the quality of marriage.
Marriage does not change people so it is important you understand who you marry early enough.
Marriage reveals who people are. A lot of people hide their characters and habit before marriage and showcase them when marriage is mature.
When you talk of marriage, you are talking about the future of your life, future of the children and all that concerns them. The way you manage your partner will encourage of discourage him or her.
A wife may have interest in doing a paid employed job, but the spouse may not allow her to do that. There are kinds of businesses that some women may want to engage in but their spouses will shut them down.
For Christians, it is expected that not much should be done about women in every circumstances since they can should build formidable marital homes.
It is assumed that as believers, they will understand each other. But two believers may have different doctrinal believes. Both may be Christians, your ideas may differ. Partners who are believers may not think the same way when it comes to giving in the things of God.
Most problems for couples is assumption. Two people must work together when they agree. A partner may like every contribution in church and giving to the need while his wife may be considering their level of income.
Marriage should be an intentional thing and nobody should be coerced into it. There should be no compromise. The idea of marrying because others are should not be the case.
Good marriages don’t make the news but bad ones do. It may interest you to know some women chase their husbands away from home. No matter the level of anger in a woman, it shouldn’t be that a woman uses harmful object on her husband.
When venturing into marriage, the issue of age should not discourage you. Yes, it is necessary but that can be your own time to get married. A situation where you lament that others are all married and rush into marriage, may be disastrous.
You must be prepared before going into marriage.
Marriage is not an employment where you can resign at a time you like. Even in employment, you give some notice for resignation. It is not easy to quit marriage. Consultation must be done from experts and stakeholders in marriage, that is why you don’t rush into marriage.
Before going into marriage, you must ask questions to know who you want to marry.
Remember, better woman will make better society.
When a husband and wife have disagreement in the home and the matter is reported to the elders in the local palace, the woman is always blamed and sometimes mandated to apologise to the husband.
That may appear humiliating. Some persons say it is wrong to judge the woman in the presence of the husband.
What about a situation where the man is at fault? The truth is not always said in the public or before the man and his wife.
Some people argue that it is a way of protecting the marriage and the man cn be cautioned behind the wife by his kinsmen.
Women should bear in mind that the elders in the family do not hate them by supporting the and asking the wife to appologise when disappointment occurs in the home.
Protection of the home as far as husband and wife are concerned is very important. There is the belief by men that if the man is blamed before the wife, that will warrant her to raise shoulders.
Elders also say that will prevent the woman from reporting every little issue that comes up in the home.
Women should not think that they are being cheated and should continue to be better builders of the home and society.
Acknowledging faults in issues relating to your marriage does not mean weakness but a sign that peace reigns in the home.
Remember, “home is a person”.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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