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PH Safe Home Also Caters For Abused Males

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For quite some time now, issues bordering on gender based violence, or precisely; sexual assault, are either making the rounds in the society, or its attendant solution is placed at the front burner of government and non-governmental organisations’s discussions.
Sexual abuse is one of the most perplexing and confusing problems facing families today, a painful traumatic family secret with rippling effects upon the entire family. However, a conscious therapy for families who are impacted by sexual abuse can help them heal from the abuse and create tools to assure no further abuse will happen in their family.
Although it is difficult to fully assess the number of families affected by this phenomenon, the 2010 report from the United States Department of Health and Human Services estimated that 9.2per cent of children are sexually assaulted, approximately one in five girls, and one in 20 boys.
While it is necessary to bemoan and condemn the act, it is very expedient to consider adequate rehabilitation measure (s)such as alternative housing accommodation to potential victims and, or survivors. Potential victims? Yes, potential victims, perhaps we do not know that many young people faced with the challenge of homelessness end up being sexually assaulted.
On the other hand, the overwhelming majority of children are abused by someone they know: a family member, a close family friend, a member of clergy, or a youth leader. Such homes where sexual violence is being perpetrated by household members, landlords, or neighbors may not be safe.
We need not be told that there are indisputable long-term negative effects to child sexual abuse for many, if not most, victims. Such problems as eating disorders, substances abuse disorders, and sexual dysfunction, not excluding guilt, shame, re-victimization, diminished self-esteem, depression, relationship difficulties, and/or other types of dissociative disorders.
There is thus, ample evidence that sexual abuse is damaging and warrants intensive and specialized intervention to stop the abuse and aid in recovery. This is why the need to find safe alternative housing for children that are sexually threatened as well as survivors of sexual assault, abuse, and harassment, in order to heal and reduce the effects of the trauma they have experienced, has become imperative.
Luckily, the realization of the fact that safe, affordable, and stable housing can be a protective factor against experiencing sexual victimization, as well as provide a healing environment to survivors, has given birth to a “safe home” for victims of sexual and gender-based violence by Rivers State Government.
Just recently, the State Governor, Chief Nyesom Wike, commissioned a safe home at Borikiri in Port Harcourt City which he said is also open for abused males. Mr Wike said, “Let us not think that it is only for women. It is also for young boys who are also assaulted so that they can also have some psychological debriefing.”
The governor chided governments which only focused on infrastructural development, forgetting to include the vulnerable people in their programmes, to take this as a special project.
Common long-term psychological and social effects of sexual violence include depression, chronic post-traumatic stress symptoms, interpersonal disturbances, and revictimization
Let’s not forget that healing of the victim, helping him/her feel safe again and work through the trauma they experienced will be the main goals this safe home.
The “safe home” will not only provide shelter for victims of domestic violence, it will help them access justice, medical reference and reintegration into the society.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Women

Women, Birth And Population Control

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Some persons due to religious belief are not in support of family planning. For birth control to be effective, we must redefine our religious belief of “Na God dey give pikin”. Some believe that family planning is evil. Let such practice not deceive women.
It is important to have children for many reasons but it should not be abused.
Women should be sensitized in this regard. Not just that, empowerment is also necessary for such category of women. When a woman is empowered and busy, she produces less unlike when she is idle. Her spouse may want her to be producing as many children as possible since that may be the only work she can do.
The woman’s body needs rest. She does not have to stress herself every year to make babies. Pregnancy is not food that can be forced into a woman’s mouth.
The awareness should start from the rural areas because that is where the issue is. Although many of them have been sensitized severally. There are also those in the urban and it’s environs have got enough information about family planning.
Another way women can help solve the problem is when they refuse to make themselves available as second, third and fourth wives. Women should not present themselves as second-hand materials.
The female gender need stay alive to nurture the ones they have got. I’m not sure there’s any award for highest child bearing family.
There’s always competition in polygamous homes where some women want to be seen as the champion in highest number of children they cannot cater for. If a lady gets married to a single man, both of them will plan the family the way it will suit them.
It is worrisome to see a family whose income is below standard giving birth to seven to ten children. Taking 3-square meal becomes a problem. Children fighting on small quantities of food. In such situation, a lot of the children drop out of school and engage in social vices.
Another measure has to do with avoidance of illicit sex. Women should discuss and note when to meet their husbands. The mentality that my husband will not support should be discouraged. If women seek the opinion of their husbands in the right way, definitely they will get their support.
There is nothing wrong about that.
Women experience safe period monthly so should calculate appropriately. They can have protected sex which will not produce a child at the end of the day.
When you visit the health facilities, especially during anti- natal sessions, the professionals always teach the women what to do.
There are instances where women discouraged their folks from family planning and at the end of the day regret when pregnancy occurs. Women cannot control child bearing by listening to older ones in the neighborhood. That someone is older than you does not mean that she will help you control unnecessary child- bearing.
Time has come when husbands should support their wives in that regard.
It has also been recorded that some cultures go against birth control so orientation and re-orientation should continue in families, community and the society at large.
Recently the world observed world population day and it was discovered that population is increasing rapidly.
Report has it that population rate in Nigeria is approximately 229.1m.
Unfortunately, some births are allegedly not registered in the approved health facilities as it becomes difficult to get the accurate number of births per day.
Government at every level can help with policies that can help control birth and manage population. Beyond that, families should be assisted in providing social needs because having more children will increase poverty.
Maximum of two to three children can help reduce population. In years past, relevant authorities had proposed four children per family but I am in doubt if that policy is still working.
When population is reduced, everyone in the society will be carried along including People Living With Disability.
Government has a great role to play but the human beings who bear and produce children have greater role to play.
This year’s theme is: “Leave no one behind, count everyone”.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

 

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Women

Why Ladies Should Go For High, Quality Shoes

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One of the easiest ways to tell how fashionable and stylish a woman is, is through the quality of her shoes. Yes, expensive shoes separate the women from the girls. Someone can have fashionable wardrobe without paying a fortune for it, but when it’s time to buy fashionable shoes, one should expect to spend more time and money to select quality and expensive shoes.
Some people may argue that it is waste of money spending thousands of naira on a pair of shoes when they can use the same amount to buy three or more pairs that are of low quality. But on the contrary, buying expensive shoes signify wisdom, because they last longer than the cheaper ones. And so, you can have three or four expensive, quality pair of shoes and not border about shoes for many years.
The truth is that it is better to buy quality shoes that are more expensive than buying cheaper ones that will not last.
Besides, luxurious shoes are usually hand-made, which means people will take care of sewing quality shoes and guarantee a quality finish.
Quality shoes should therefore, have less manufacturing mistakes, have a better overall finishing and should last longer. The little details added in the finishing create an extra element of style. They will also increase the durability of the shoes.
Apart from the quality and durability of the shoes, wearing exclusive ones will definitely help polish one’s image. The quality of shoes a lady wears will tell the public the kind of person and the kind of job or business she is engaged. This image can make a big difference between an ordinary woman and a woman with expensive shoes during ceremonies. In addition, note that poor quality shoes are especially noticeable when someone is well dressed because of the contrast it creates. Low priced shoes are usually associated with cheap mannerisms and I wonder how many women like cheap ones.
One important thing to note about high shoes is the fact that they are suitable to short and average height ladies.
The high healed-shoes can increase their heights artificially. These heely shoes may not be necessary for tall ladies.
They may not also be suitable for those who are advanced in age.
So why don’t you spend more money on quality shoes and prove that you have arrived?

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women Can Build Formidable Marital Homes

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Building formidable marital homes starts before marriage. Single women also need to pick the right kind of person they think can build a formidable home with them.
When you marry the wrong person, the home will be a terrible place. Remember the person you will marry will leave with you forever as marriage is a life long affair.
To build a formidable marriage, you must consider who you marry. Ensure the person you pick mWomen can build formidable marital home with you.
The person you pick matters a lot. The quality of person determines the quality of marriage.
Marriage does not change people so it is important you understand who you marry early enough.
Marriage reveals who people are. A lot of people hide their characters and habit before marriage and showcase them when marriage is mature.
When you talk of marriage, you are talking about the future of your life, future of the children and all that concerns them. The way you manage your partner will encourage of discourage him or her.
A wife may have interest in doing a paid employed job, but the spouse may not allow her to do that. There are kinds of businesses that some women may want to engage in but their spouses will shut them down.
For Christians, it is expected that not much should be done about women in every circumstances since they can should build formidable marital homes.
It is assumed that as believers, they will understand each other. But two believers may have different doctrinal believes. Both may be Christians, your ideas may differ. Partners who are believers may not think the same way when it comes to giving in the things of God.
Most problems for couples is assumption. Two people must work together when they agree. A partner may like every contribution in church and giving to the need while his wife may be considering their level of income.
Marriage should be an intentional thing and nobody should be coerced into it. There should be no compromise. The idea of marrying because others are should not be the case.
Good marriages don’t make the news but bad ones do. It may interest you to know some women chase their husbands away from home. No matter the level of anger in a woman, it shouldn’t be that a woman uses harmful object on her husband.
When venturing into marriage, the issue of age should not discourage you. Yes, it is necessary but that can be your own time to get married. A situation where you lament that others are all married and rush into marriage, may be disastrous.
You must be prepared before going into marriage.
Marriage is not an employment where you can resign at a time you like. Even in employment, you give some notice for resignation. It is not easy to quit marriage. Consultation must be done from experts and stakeholders in marriage, that is why you don’t rush into marriage.
Before going into marriage, you must ask questions to know who you want to marry.
Remember, better woman will make better society.
When a husband and wife have disagreement in the home and the matter is reported to the elders in the local palace, the woman is always blamed and sometimes mandated to apologise to the husband.
That may appear humiliating. Some persons say it is wrong to judge the woman in the presence of the husband.
What about a situation where the man is at fault? The truth is not always said in the public or before the man and his wife.
Some people argue that it is a way of protecting the marriage and the man cn be cautioned behind the wife by his kinsmen.
Women should bear in mind that the elders in the family do not hate them by supporting the and asking the wife to appologise when disappointment occurs in the home.
Protection of the home as far as husband and wife are concerned is very important. There is the belief by men that if the man is blamed before the wife, that will warrant her to raise shoulders.
Elders also say that will prevent the woman from reporting every little issue that comes up in the home.
Women should not think that they are being cheated and should continue to be better builders of the home and society.
Acknowledging faults in issues relating to your marriage does not mean weakness but a sign that peace reigns in the home.
Remember, “home is a person”.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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