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FIDA: All You Need To Know About Sexual Molestation

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Rape is defined as the forceful penetration of the vagina, mouth, anus, or any other part of the body with the intention of having sexual satisfaction.
The part of the body can be penetrated with the penis, finger or other object.Rape simply put is the use of force upon a person against his or her will ( consent)  to have carnal knowledge or sex with that person.
When a person under the age of 14 years old is forced into sexual act it is called Defilement. When it happens to  persons of14 years and above it is called Rape.
 In a family setting, that is where it occurs between father and child,  mother and child,  brother and sister, it is called INCEST.
From the definition of rape,  it is very clear that it is not only girls that can be raped.  Boys too can be raped.
Also the issue of Consent is very fundamental to establish a case of rape against a person.
Penetration through the anus or mouth with any part of the body is rape.
There are categories of, persons that cannot be affected when considering the issue of consent. A child – A child is anyone under the age of 18 years old or a person of unsound mind.
For consent to be considered, one must show first that the person posessess the capacity to say Yes or No. The mental alertness to choose what he or she wants at a particular time. One must show that consent was obtained freely devoid of any form of intimidation, threat or duress,  subjection ( influence of drugs or alcohol).
Also note that consent can be withdrawn at any time.  This means anything that happens after consent is withdrawn for those capable of giving consent is rape/ assault.
Who can be a victim:
Eventually, everybody can be a victim of rape or sexual assault.  However statistics show that more girls/women are raped than boys/men.
Who are the abusers/ perpetrators.
An abuser can be a father,  mother,  uncle,  teacher, driver,  pastor,  strangers,  security guards… The list is endless.
The truth is that rape is an act of force against a person’s will. Going by our definition we can agree that there is spousal rape. Our laws are a bit silent on it mainly because of cultural belief that the woman belongs to the man.
Abusers are mostly not strangers but persons known to the victim or family or even in the neighborhood. These abusers most times lure their victims with gifts and unsolicited favours and gradually establish a close relationship with them. At this point they strike.
If she is an adult she has the right to say NO. If you promise to buy a car for someone and the person agrees to have sex,  that person must show he or she was not forced. The act itself was given freely. The failure to fulfill promise is another case.
Abusers can also threaten their victims not to speak up. By telling them they will die or members of their families will die.
Where can it happen?
Anywhere. In the home, school, church etc
What to do – Family
the family owes the child a greater duty of care and protection. We should teach our children right from the home before they step out.Teach them sex education early in life. Teach them to respect their body by keeping the privates private( this should start from the home.  The girls and boys should know their private parts and protect it against everyone including family members)
There should be no secrets from Dad and Mum. Do not take naked pictures and no one should take them pictures while naked.
Tell them their NO should be there NO.
Teach  them that a body touch can tickle or make you feel good but is not RIGHT because is not yet Time.
Tach them to know a good, bad and secret touch.
Teach them to report every attempt and actual violence. Reporting an attempt can protect children from  an actual act.
The Government should ensure that law enforcement agencies are trained and equipped to handle cases of sexual assault. There should  be legislations to checkmate these crimes
 We have legislations already in place.
1999 Constitution (as amended) /section 34 provides for our fundamental rights
We have the Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act ( VAPP)  2015. this has been passed into Law by Rivers State House of Assembly but is still awaiting Governor’s  assent
 This particular piece of legislation is very encompassing. It provides a form of compensation for victims/ survivors of rape. It has also removed the issue of limitations on when you can bring an action for rape. With the  VAPP law in place you can sue for rape at any time.
 We also have Child Rights Law and Criminal code.: It is our collective responsibility to protect our chlidren at this time.
Effects of Rape
It affects the person’s  personal dignity and safety. There is always a feeling of guilt
Depression, stigma ( we all must support survivors in this area), low self esteem, Fear
Recommendations
Ensure that all cases are reported and followed up.
Be close to your children and listen to them.
Don’t be an absentee parent.
Make efforts to know their friends and where the go to or who visits them.
Discourage them from receiving gifts easily from people
Also remember that the punishment for rape is life imprisonment, so we must all ensure that perpetrators are prosecuted and put away for life.
International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Nigeria. Rivers State Branch.
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Need For Girl-Child Education In Society

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Girl-child education is a way by which a girl- child is being exposed through formal education for proper education.
It is a process whereby a girl-child is being exposed to some certain things according to “teachmit@wp”.
Girl-child education refers to the aspect of education that ends at developing the skills and knowledge of girls and women no matter their backgrounds.
Some parents think that educating a girl- child is wasting of their resources. No. When a female child is educated, it gives her that respect even the husband cannot treat her anyhow because he will know her worth.
The importance of educating the girl- child cannot be overemphasised. It helps to empower the country and makes them have a better life. Once they are educated, they realise the importance of exhibiting good hygiene habits.
It may interest you to know that when a girl-child is educated, she has a sense of belonging in the society. In Nigeria nowadays, they have the potential of becoming governors, chairmen of local government areas, among others.
The tendency of taking cognisance of the importance of reduction in child bearing is high. When a woman is educated, the level in which she will give birth will reduce considering the dangers inherent.
Firstly, she will calculate herself and know when to conceive, although with the consent of her husband and the numbers of children she wants.
A girl who is educated will know how to educate her children properly. She will be of good benefits to the family.
Truly, a girl who is not properly educated will suffer lack of knowledge, fall into early marriage which will lead into early pregnancy. Some of these can cause domestic violence.
Women need education because without proper knowledge, a woman cannot run her home properly. A woman that is educated leads her home aright.
Some men use and take advantage of uneducated women by rendering all kinds of abuses on them, some rape their wives in course of making love and others insults their wives in public all because there is no education. In life, males and females should be educated without discrimination.
Furthermore, educating a girl-child is like investing in a big business that one will not run into a loss.
According to Dr Shaifali, girls’ education is like sowing the seed which gives rise to a revitalised, cheerful and full-grown family plants.
She also said educated women have the capacity to bring socio- economic changes.
Growing up from the family of three, my father told me that he was not ready to train a female child and when I asked why, he said: ” because when you will grow and become great, then, a man will come from nowhere and marry you and all my money will be wasted. When you marry, your name will be changed that means all your riches and wealth will become your husband’s own because you people are one”.
Frankly, I was very bitter with myself and I started questioning God that why was I not created as man, but I took it upon myself that weather the devil likes it or not, I will prove my father wrong by going to school and I will show the difference.
As parents when training children we should not think less of any child because every child is important and have value.
Every child is a blessing from God. This is a clarion call to all men of our present society to accord their wives the respect they deserve. A man can develop his wife after marriage.
Education plays an important role in the life of a girl-child. Let every girl-child be educated. The government should provide the society with basic amenities such as good schools that are well-equipped.
Parents from time to time should be re-oriented in this regard taking cognisance of the importance of developing the girl-child. None should be misled by saying that the girl-child need not attend formal education.
Since some parents do not have the wherewithal to sponsor their children, governments at all levels should introduce free education to give room for equal opportunity. Bursary payment should be re-introduced in all higher educational institutions.
Education is the bedrock of any society therefore women education cannot end in the kitchen.

Princess Npapa
Princess Npapa is a student of Pan Africa Institute of Management and Technology.

 

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Celebrating Woman As An Icon Of Strength

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A woman is a dynamic multifaceted individual who embodies resilience, courage and determination.
She is a game changer and a force to be reckon with, a confidant empowered, supportive, adaptable and inspirational.
Many had asked why women are being celebrated even as recorded in calendar so frequently unlike men and I said, a woman being multifaceted and embodies resilience and determination is worth being celebrated unlike in the 80s when women were meant to understand that their place was in the kitchen of their husbands’ houses.
What an amazing level of development where women can choose a career and work on themselves and know that there is more to life than being in the kitchen and ending up in a man’s house with nothing to show for it.
Women are the strongest versions of the gender of humans in the world even in their silence, women hold a depth of emotions, questions and unspoken thoughts. Their smiles often conceal their true feelings, masking their fears, doubts and desires.
Despite these challenges, women continue to rise above, shattering glass ceilings and pushing boundaries.
Today innovative, women are enterprenuers, leaders, and change agents. Inspiring women like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie and many others have paved the way for future generation, their achievements serve as testaments to women’s strength, resilience and capabilities.
The calendar tell us how unique the woman is and her significance in the home and society at large. As a woman, she holds power and I celebrate every woman out there in the world irrespective of how you may have fallen, you shall rise above the challenges, support one another and celebrate collective strength and resilience.
Woman as an icon of strength is not just about individual achievements but creating supportive networks, uplifting others and celebrating collective success, defying expectations and redefining what it means to be a strong woman.
The strength and bravery of women are worthy of celebration by the entire world as none is unique as the epitome of nation builders, character molders and pacesetters not just in their family but to the society at large.
A woman is a selfless mother, lover and care giver to her family, a daughter who supports her parents, as a sister’s unshakeable bond with her siblings and a friends unconditional empathy and understanding.
These acts of kindness and love are not most times talked about but hold families and communities together and bonding strong women are powerful beings who have impacted the society, shaping the foundation of the world from the 80s to date, I personally want to celebrate all the icons of strength who had fought and are still fighting , that our voices as women are heard even unto the ends of time.
I celebrate you all amazing women for standing strong and paving ways for the future generation for equality, justice and human rights. To the rising child, teenager and adults who happen to be a ‘woman’, I celebrate our collective efforts, our strength in helping one another to rise, irrespective of our differences in our backgrounds.
We are super humans, unique beings, no wonder the Bible acknowledges the importance of our strength. Therefore, let’s celebrate every woman out there.

Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha, is a student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.

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Children And Basics Of Family

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It is the idea of God that family should exit. Children form part of the family. God loves family so much that Jesus was born into the family of Joseph.
Everyone’s family is good and important. Children should not look down on their family whether they are rich or poor.
Children should respect and honour their family and foster love among their siblings. They should work together and make peace in the family. They should always stand in the gap. It is good for family members to carry all along since everyone may not be doing well.
The Christianity that children learn is practised in family. Faith-based organisations do a great job in moulding children’s character. Those are the behaviours that children exhibit towards siblings in family.
Every child born in a family is there for a purpose. A baby born into a family is supplying something. It may be joy, wealth and so on. Everyone is important in a family.
Adolescents who have graduated from school but may not be contributing financially can do one or two things at home. You can engage in preparing meals at home while parents are away for a job or business. Contributing in house chores will go a long way to relieve parents of stress after a day’s job.
What do you contribute to your family, especially during holidays both in nuclear and extended family?
The family you were born is constant but friends are temporary. You can decide not to continue in friendship but you cannot cut off your family. No matter how bad you think your family is and you decide to leave home, you must surely return. Your friends can harbour you for a while.
The child’s first identity comes from the family. What the child learns first comes from the family.
Family is the centre of love and care. People have started playing down on marriage because of neglect on basics of family. Marriage starts today and and the next few months, it is threatened. Respect for family plays a crucial role in marriage.
No child grows without parental control and influence. If a child refuses to grow without taking instructions from parents, he may grow up being wild. There are consequences when children do not obey their parents. There are those who want to be rebellious against their parents. They should know that their length of days are tied to their parents.
Your bioligical parents know you more than every other person. There is the wisdom and knowledge your parents have that you do not so it is proper to listen to them before choosing carriers both in academics and job. A young man or woman can choose who to get married to, but a greater role in the choice of who to marry and the marriage proper comes from the parents.
They know what is best for you. No matter how modern trends will influence you and prove it wrong, parent is the key. No one can love you more than your parents because they are your blood.
A lot of parents have been traumatised due to the fact that children they nurtured and trained turned their back on them at older age. Children should not abandon their parents for any reason.
As you grow up, situations may arise in marriage when you decide it is over with your spouse, but no matter the level of provocation with your parents, they will not despise you. Parents will also play a role in that regard. Problem arises in every family but how it is handled matters a lot.
Some children honour their mentors more than their parents. Although there are parents who shy away from their responsibilities. It is important that parents take full responsibility of their children. You cannot bring a child to the planet earth and refuse to perform roles as a parent. But parents may not quantify what they spent from childhood to adolescence. That is a blessing children cannot get from another person.
There are people who have attributed their failure in life to the fact that their parents, especially mothers are witchcraft. It is wrong to feel that your mother is instrumental to your failure in life. The only way to success is hardwork.
Let money not determine the level of love for your parents. Wherever a child goes, family is constant.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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