Women

Why Frustrate The Widows?

Published

8 years ago

May 6, 2016

Mrs. Daba .G. Amachree, wife of late Elder Gabriel Amachree with some family members, during a condolence visit of the Rivers State Government to victims of the Rerun National and State House of Assembly elections in ASALGA. Photo: Egberi .A. Sampson

Without mincing
words, the death of a loved one, especially one that leaves a remarkable vacuum in the life of the living, is an experience that calls for sympathy and probably practical gesture that would be aimed at reducing the impact of the loss.
To many, the loss of a breadwinner, places them in an unstable state, that takes them a long time to rediscover themselves and see meaning in life again.
This precisely is the story of many widows who had leaned earnestly on their late spouses. The news of the death of their spouses do not only throw them into a big shock, it destabilises their stronghold; economically, socially and otherwise.
To these ones, it takes the intervention of philanthropists to make life meaningful again to them.
Only those who know what it means to lose a pillar of one’s life, know how to manage the remains of the living. Ohiowale Rachael Chukwueroka, popularly known as Ehidiana of Wazobia Radio FM, Port Harcourt, is one among many that had taken a stand to reduce the pains and burdens of widows in our neighbourhood. Her yearly charity gesture, known as “A Day With the Widows”, provides a platform for her to touch the lives of widows and put smiles on their faces so they can see reason to live on and flow along with others.
Apart from Ehidiana, our daily news is replete with names of politicians, philanthropists and some religious outfits who also visit the widows to alleviate their plight.
Yet, amidst these ones with the heart of gold towards humanity, exist others who feed well in the tears of people. Such ones would hardly see any reason to sypathise with the widows and so would stop at nothing in making sure that their pains and sorrows know no end.
They are men and women who would want widows to lose everything not excluding their own lives all because they lost their husbands.
How does it feel to lose one’s status, livelihood or property, all for a loss of husband? Painful! I guess, yet this situation has become the portion of many widows in our society today.
At various times in different localities, cases have been reported about how widows are treated at the demise of their husbands. While some are foced to drink their husband’s corpse’s bath water, others are subjected to sit on bare floor, bare bodied and with their hairs shaven without recourse to the health hazard these actions predispose the victims to.
The sin of these widows cannot be far from the death of their husbands which is often suspected to have been caused by the living widows, but how true is this allegation?
To address this worrisome culture, the United Nations set aside June 23rd every year as “International Widows Day,” to stress that, “no widow should lose her status, livelihood or property at the death of her husband.
Unfortunately, millions of our widows face persistent abuse, discrimination, disinheritance and destitution. As a result of this development, the Federation of Women Lawyers has at various time championed the defense of many widows who had faced one form of torture or the other from their in-law homes but for how long will this last? What about those who cannot reach the women lawyers for assistance and cannot also take their case to the law court for lack of financial and moral support?
Many at times it is hard to believe that a man would lose his spouse, and he is being sympathised and not just that, he attracts genuine sympathy from people, he is assisted to bear the burden and be eased of his sorrow. This same man can resume his work the next day while the late wife remains unburied and even after burial he is encouraged to remarry in less than one month yet the society does not frown at it. Should that which is good for the geese not be good for the gander?
There is whatsoever no reason for any woman to lose her status, livelihood or property because she has lost her husband.
In as much as the life of the woman does not terminate at the demise of her husband, there is every need for her to be given the enabling environment so as to gather the pieces of her life and live it well. The woman is not a lesser mortal to the man and so, every human right violation on her, stemming from the unjust view of the woman as having a diminishing value must stop.By the message of the United Nations General Secretary, Ban Ki Moon, last year. “We must erase the social stigmatisation and economic deprivation that widows are faced with eliminate their high risk of sexual abuse and exploitation and remove the barriers to resources and economic opportunities that constrain their future. We must also advance widows equal rights to inheritance, property, land and other assets.
The vision of a life of dignity for all will remain a mirage without a resolve to end all discriminatory attitudes against widows and ensure that widows of all ages enjoy equal human rights, including the right to shape their future and to participate fully in society.

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Women

The Wise Woman

Published

2 days ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

2 days ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance, it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has, traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

3 weeks ago

April 5, 2024

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.