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Mentoring The Girl Child: A Mother’s Role

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In a layman’s under
standing, a mother is that women who biologically gives birth to a young child while the word daughter refers to a female child biologically given birth to by a woman, motherhood  goes beyond the idea of having one’s  own child  biologically. By adoption, a woman also becomes a mother of a child.
Thus, the moment a woman begins to undertake the training and up bringing of a child, irrespective of who he or she is, she becomes a mother. However she could be referred to, as a foster mother.
In today’s issue, we are very much concerned about what should be the ideal, standard  relationship between  a mother  and he daughter.
Living amidst different homes and families one watches with dismay  the dramas  displayed on daily basis by mothers and their so-called daughters although, there are is no doubt that homes exist which understand what relationship means.
In  many families, it was witnessed or discovered  that mothers and daughters see themselves as rivals. A woman  carries her daughter along to the point of maturity and  from thence on she abandons her to her fate.
In such home, there is lack of confidence between the mothers and their daughters, so much that the daughters keep their feelings  far from  the understanding of their mothers, instead they confide in mothers outside their homes, and friends for solutions to their emotional  reactions.
The reason for this unseeming relationship  a seasoned family counsellor said, is because of the mothers initial actions  towards their growing  daughter. According  to her, most women think  that to  instill discipline in a child is to  create fear in her. So much  that a child now fears her mother more than  she fears her  school teachers.
Every action of the child is greeted with shouts and scoldings, no time is speared to know the problems  and feelings of a child in the house.
The result is that the child is resolved to  suppressing and keeping her feelings  to herself  and pretending to be in good form all the time.
Come to think of it, at fifteen yeas of age, a mother ought to be seeing  a friend, companion,  mate  and helper in her daughter. At this point the rod ceases to be the sole  corrective measure.
Advice and sometimes polite rebuke could take the place of the rod. The child should be drawn very close to the mother to the point that she too begins to see the mum as her first friend and companion, in whom  she could confide.
Mothers, from time to time, especially during kitchen time with their daughters should initiate  talks on issues that are regarded as no-go areas, this will help in great measure to bond them together.
The  understanding word here is openness. The  mothers should as much as possible be open to their daughters, initiate  questions that will help find out certain information from them from which  the children could be assessed as per their level of assimilation into the world.
On daily basis, it is the place of the mother to keep a close watch on the daughter and carefully query any strange behaviour from her,  she too, must be  given a sense of belonging by trying to provide and care for her so that no vacuum is created and so there will be no reason  for a yearning to fill a vacuum outside.
As a matter of fact, no  mother should create an impression that her daughter could be bettered by an external  hand No!
Instead the  maintenance of any growing girl should top the priority of the mother for that is a major way of saving her from external  influences.
Above all, no mother should hoard any vital  information from the daughter especially those that bother on life, and from time to time, create avenues for discussions on such life  issues where she could  be free to ask questions and no matter how silly the questions may pose. They have to be answered.
Mothers must  always expose  their daughters to good and  evil but emphasis must be placed on the need to choose good and the implication of choosing evil.
If need be, create  a big  phobia in their  hearts for evil acts so that they live to dread doing the wrong one.
The growing girl  needs love, and this first  love  must come from her mother  for it is what she gets from the mother she carries over to her  own home.  In due time,   the mother have no reason  not to be closer to her daughter.
Remember, closeness and openness are the key words in a standard mother-daughter  relationship.

 

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

A mother

A mother

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Women

‘It Is Time To End Violence Against Women’

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While pervasive, gender-based violence may seem to appear inevitable in our own clime, African Women Lawyers, Rivers State Chapter, believe that it can and must be prevented. To them, stopping this violence starts with believing survivors, adopting comprehensive and inclusive approaches that tackle the root causes, transforming harmful social norms, and empowers women and girls.
With women and girls living in danger around the world owing to conflict, climate-related natural disasters, food insecurity and human rights violations, which in turn exacerbate violence against women, this great body of women lawyers have decided to raise their voice against all shades of violence against women whether it be domestic or official
In pursuant of their aims and objectives, AWLA commemorate land mark dates set by the African Union and United Nations to raise awareness about the plight of women and children.
As the world engages in 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, the body avails itself the opportunity to highlight some violent and of course harmful practices Nigerian women are continually subjected to, as well as condemn such and create the awareness among the populace that perpetrators of such inhumane acts on a folk that deserves and desires protection in all spheres, will receive a bang of the law.
This year, AwLA is using the window provided by the United Nations via the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, to contribute their own quota especially as it relates to condemning in concrete terms, societal practices that run foul to the healthy development of the women.
Activities outlined in commemorate of the 2021 version of the 16 days of activisms against gender based violence include; advocacy and sensitization visits to Khana Local Government and Oginigba in  Obio/Akpor Local Government on 26th and 30th November respectively while free legal clinic takes place in Port Harcourt Local Government on 29th of November.
While the program lasts, stakeholders are expected to brainstorm on how to solve the challenges faced by women, while women will be enlightened on their right as well as be sensitized on how to seek redress.
In a chat with The Tide woman Editor, Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi, the Coordinator of the African Women Lawyers Association, Hilda Desmond-Ihekaire, said her association is quite proactive on issues that bother on women and children’s rights.
She encouraged women to speak out against injustice meted on them by people who are supposed to protect their interest, stating that the era of accepting every awkward treatment against them is over. She enjoined them to avail themselves the opportunity of the free legal clinic provided at this season to vent out their grievances.
The AWLA coordinator revealed that her association is already handling matters of gender based violence in court at the moment and would stop at nothing until the public comes to appreciate that women are also human that should not be treated unjustly.
AWLA is a group of women lawyers with the aim and objective of protecting the right and interest of women and children in Africa. They do this through multi facetted approach, using advocacy, sensitization campaign and probono litigation services on women and children’s issues
16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence is an international campaign to challenge violence against women and girls. The campaign runs every year from 25 November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, to 10 December, Human Rights Day.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Women

NAWOJ Moves To Check Violence Against Women, Girls … Seeks More Action, Resources

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Chairman, Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ), Rivers State Chapter, Susan Serekara-Nwikhana, has called for strengthened actions and resources to address violence against women and girls in the society.
Speaking to newsmen in Port Harcourt, yesterday, November 25, 2021 to commemorate this year’s 16-Days of Activism, with the theme: ‘Orange the world: End Violence Against Women Now’, the Chairman, NAWOJ, Rivers State Chapter stated that violence against women and girls reached pandemic proportion especially during the COVID-19 hit that resulted to lockdown.
Serekara stressed that as lockdown measures were implemented to stop the spread of the coronavirus, violence against women, domestic violence intensified as school closures and economic strains left women and girls poorer, out of school and out of jobs, making them more vulnerable to exploitation, abuse, forced marriage, and harassment.
“We believe  that ending violence against women will require strengthened actions by the government through more investment in women and girls,” she said, regretting that formal reports of domestic violence have decreased, yet survivors find it harder to seek help and access support through the regular channels. She further noted that the 16 days of activism is an expression that gender-based violence though not inevitable, can and must be prevented.
“While gender-based violence can happen to anyone, anywhere, some women and girls are particularly vulnerable – for instance, young girls  and teenage girls who are employed as house helps . Violence against women continues to be an obstacle to achieving equality, development, peace as well as to the fulfillment of women and girls’ human rights,” Serekara added.

By: Susan Serekara-Nwikhana

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Women

NAWOJ Seeks Adequate Protection, Provision For Children

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Aware of the numerous problems children face especially with the current harsh economy of our nation, the Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ), Rivers State has stressed the need to protect the lives of children while investing in their future.
The association said this during this year’s commemoration of “The Universal Children’s Day”, that had “investing in our children means investing in our future”, as its theme.
This was contained in a statement signed by the association’s Chairman and Secretary, Mrs Susan Serekara-Nwikhana and Dr Ngozi Anosike, respectively.
The statement described the essence of the day as a time to improve the welfare for all children.
“NAWOJ is using this special day to call on governments at all levels to ensure that every child is given the means requisite for its normal development, both materially and spiritually, while cautioning parents against reproducing the number of children they cannot properly care for but give them out at their tender ages as house helps thereby exposing them to all forms of abuse.
“NAWOJ appreciates the fact that to invest in our nation requires that the child that is hungry is fed, the child that is sick nursed, the child that is backward helped, the delinquent child reclaimed, and the orphan and the unsheltered are secured”.
It commended the Governor of the State, Chief Nyesom Wike for ensuring that the Rehabilitation Centre at Iriebe is operating at optimum capacity.
NAWOJ recalls that during the commissioning of the rehabilitation Centre, Governor Wike magnanimously doled out N250million to the ministry of social welfare, just to ensure regular power supply and smooth running of the facility, a gesture NAWOJ appreciates so much as it translates to giving the children a sense of belonging.
The association also stressed the need to save the lives of new born babies in maternity homes and hospitals and called on Port Harcourt Electricity Distribution Company to as a matter of necessity ensure regular power supply to those facilities.
The association in the statement regretted the death of premature children in the Intensive Care Unit of OPM Free Hospital at Aluu axis of the State as a result of power outage.
“Universal Children’s Day, celebrated annually on the 20th of November, is not just a day to celebrate children for who they are, but to bring awareness to children that have experienced violence in forms of abuse, exploitation, and discrimination”, the statement added.

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