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Between Marriage And Happiness

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So much has been said
about the relationship between marriage and happiness: some view it as the beginning of happiness for every responsible person, while others see it as one form of enslavement or the other.
This, perhaps, explains the reason why while some are stepping out of it almost by the day, others would do anything to “get hooked up together”, as they fashionably put it these days, even if it is just for a short while.
No matter how one looks at it, marriage is originally supposed to be a traditional union hinged on happiness. The Bible, the holy book for Christians also acknowledges this when it say, he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing”.
The “good thing” here implies  that couples are expected to bring about happiness to each other. Reality has however made it such that marriage often does not amount to happiness.
A critical analysis of the word “findeth” reveals that the holy book actually expects one to search for his or her spouse in order to find him or’ her. But developments, or realities, have shown that the mode of search applied by various individuals, their mindset at the point of the search, their temperament, and other factors have been the problem in either finding the spouse, or the happiness accruable therein.
In spite of these obvious impediments to finding a spouse, and, expectedly, happiness, it is now common knowledge that realities of life” society, orientation, and the like, have separated finding a spouse and automatically finding happiness.
The result is either extra-ordinary happiness in marriages that often becomes the envy of people around, who may, for whatever reason worked assiduously for its success or failure, as well as extra-ordinary unhappiness in marriages as a result of sudden realisation  of incompatibility. Each of these scenarios has its appendages that may be too broad to discuss within available space:
The essential thing to note is that as a result of the fore-going realities, four key types of people are easily identifiable in matters relating to marriage: those who are happily married; those who are unhappily married; those who are unhappily unmarried, and those who are happily unmarried.
Depending on the side it would take a’ lot of confidence, self-determination and willingness to openly accept the part one fits into, especially if one finds it difficult to accept ones’ realities (if not openly, personally) and work towards  resolving  it without laying the blame on his/her spouse.
For those who are happily married, they often do not appreciate what they have until they have cause to complain about a perceived ill-treatment, carelessness, lack of understanding, etc, on the part of their spouse to a true friend or relative.
Experience has shown that it’s only a true friend or relative, with requisite knowledge and willingness, that can look at you eye-ball- to-eye-ball and tell you things straight, whether you are right or . wrong.
If you are unfortunate to complain to the wrong person, it could be the beginning of the end of the marriage, or courtship, for that matter. This is simply because not everybody believes that a couple could have such a relationship that even when there is disagreement, it is viewed strictly as a corrective issue, not an opportunity to make problem.
If they see it that way, it does not only becomes possible to take instant correction and avoid a re-occurrence, but also doing so becomes uppermost in their minds. If they see it from any other perspective, the relationship will in the near future nosedive into separation.
For those who are unhappily married, the simple truth, no matter how you look at it, is that in most cases, something else brought them into the relationship.
There was this marriage that ended in less than six months after the wedding. The only thing that kept it up to over a year was that the woman got pregnant shortly after the wedding.
Investigations revealed that the man got carried away by the fact that the woman had Masters Degree, and could discuss fluently in what he called “well-polished” English. He did not bargain for another fact that being an introvert, that same quality she has could also be too much for him to handle when he is the target, as it turned out.
This does not mean that genuine love cannot turn sour when the beneficiary is the wrong person. The fact that he or she turns out to be the wrong person is, at the end of the day, proofs that the relationship was based on some level of falsehood, usually on the part of the recipient of the genuine love.
In essence, if genuine love is not a two-way thing, if it’s one-way, coming from either only the man or the woman, the relationship may at best be marking its time. But then, there are also situations in which recipients of genuine love at some point suddenly realise it and reciprocate. These are rear cases.
Experience has also shown that most of those who are unhappily unmarried turn out to be sadists. Sometimes not because they want to, but often because they cannot help transferring the aggression.
Unconsciously, they always want to prove to society that they can be better in anything they do.
The worst of them can hardly accept their faults, sometimes because they feel that society is already crucifying them because of their fate, even before giving them opportunity to prove themselves right. The good thing about them is that they can be good in whatever, just to prove themselves.
For those who are happily unmarried, such happiness most often lasts as long as they feel young enough to have their flings. They enjoy the euphoria of basking in the cheap popularity accorded by society, only to realise when it’s too late that the same popularity has become their greatest undoing.
The sincere ones among them accept their fate and take life the way it comes, often consoling themselves by recounting “the good old days” at  the least opportunity. The insincere ones, on the other hand, blame everybody but themselves for their’ plight, with a possibility of getting angry at everybody at some point, especially when society judge them to be losers.

 

Soibi Max-Alalibo

Women at a public function in Port Harcourt. They are pillars in matrimonial homes

Women at a public function in Port Harcourt. They are pillars in matrimonial homes

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Women In Rivers’ Politics, Democracy

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Since the return of democracy in Nigeria, in 1999, women have really been carried along in politics. Although their involvement may not have been enough, but it has gone a long way to showcase their intellectual ability towards the socio-political development of the various states and Nigeria at large.
Women were carried along during the former President Obasanjo’s tenure when his late wife, Stella Obasanjo championed the course of Nigerian women.
Within a very short time in office, the wife of late President Musa Yara’dua also contributed to the welfare of women.
Contribution made by Mrs Patience Jonathan, Phd, who became the First Lady of Nigeria went a long way to empower women who have done well. She advocated for 35 Affirmative Action for women during her husband, former President of Nigeria, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan’s tenure, since then, women have got more appointive and elective positions especially in Rivers State.
As a Rivers daughter, her contribution towards the emancipation of women in Rivers State was enormous as well as Nigeria in general.
Indeed, as governance continued, various state government including Rivers heeded the call of involving more women in governance.When you talk about how well Rivers State has done since its creation 58 years ago in relation to women, I can say that it has produced capable persons who have served and are still rendering quality services wherever they found themselves.Since its creation on May 27th, 1967, the role of women in the development of the state can never be over-emphasized.
The story of politics, governance and democracy in Rivers State cannot be complete without recalling the impact of women.
Rivers State has produced Justice Mary Odili, a retired Supreme Court Justice. She is an eminent jurist.
During the administration of Governor Peter Odili in Rivers state, Justice Mary Odili’s gesture in terms of community development programmes and relief efforts were second to none. As the First Lady then, she initiated programmes that have direct bearing on youths and women. One of them was The Adolescent Project (TAP), where education, health improvement, social rehabilitation and empowerment services to vulnerable adolescent girls were advanced.Over 500,000 citizens were directly impacted and which went on to win the Global Health Council Award for Safe Motherhood in Washington DC in May 2001.
She was the Pro-Chancellor and chairman of council of Rivers State university.
Rivers State government became women-friendly to the extent that it got a woman as a Deputy Governor.
The return of democracy in Nigeria in general and Rivers State in particular, brought good news to women. A lot of women formed and made up the cabinets in many states. Women were elected and appointed into various levels of governance.
Dr Ipalibo Harry-Banigo, a distinguished Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, was a civil servant in the Rivers State Civil Service. She was the Secretary to Rivers State Government (SSG)/ Head of Service during the military era. When the two positions were separated, during Dr Peter Odili’s government, she served as the Secretary to the State Government (SSG).
For us in Rivers State, it was a new dawn when the first female Deputy Governor was elected in 2015, since the creation of the state. After the general election In 2015, the medical doctor by profession was elected the first female deputy governor of the state. This was one of the signs of the dividends of 35% Affirmative Action championed by Nigerian women. It was a testament that women have really been liberated. It was also a sign that women’s education does not and can never end in kitchen.
Dr. Banigo successfully served as deputy governor of Rivers State from May 29, 2015 till May 29, 2023 under the administration of Governor Nyesom Wike.
In 2023 general election, she was elected into the Senate to represent Rivers West Senatorial District. This is laudable as a female from Rivers State is in the Red Chambers to speak for the interest of her people.Dr. Harry-Banigo is the chairman, Senate Committee on Health.
History was made as another female deputy governor was elected into office in Rivers State, because of course, the first performed well. Professor Ngozi Nma Odu, is the second female deputy governor Rivers State has produced. What some states have been yearning for without success. A seasoned administrator, she has been a pillar to the current administration. Her support to the current administration of the state governor, Sir Siminalayi Fubara, is what citizens of Rivers State deserve.
Rivers women are proud to have such personality as it is one of the best things that has happened in the history of Rivers State, women are optimistic that her wealth of experience will be brought to bear. Prof. Ngozi Nma Odu, a university don, assumed duty as Deputy Governor of the State, from May 29, 2023. Expectations are high as she will bring her wealth of experience into governance.
Prof. Odu is not new in the political development of Rivers State. She had served as Commissioner for Education during which her contributions to the development of education were second to none. In an agency that protects the rights and interests of women nationwide, she was the President of National Council of Women Societies (NCWS.
As Nigeria and indeed, Rivers State mark another year of democratic dispensation, the contribution of women in the development of the state can never be over-emphasised.Rivers women have made tremendous efforts in contributing in various fields of endeavour and their contributions have led to the rapid growth through politics, sports, education, judiciary, social, economic, medicare and engineering, just to mention but a few.
Indeed, since the creation of the state, it has not been a male dominated issue, women too have been given the opportunity to play key roles in their own little way.
Today, one cannot talk about women who made impact in the history of the state without mentioning Hon Justice Mary Odili, who served in Rivera State as a Judge. She also served in the Appeal Court. She rose to the peak of her profession in the Judiciary as the Justice of the Supreme Court (JSC).
Daisy Okocha served as Chief Judge of the state. Since the creation of Rivers State, she was the seventh judge and a woman to serve in that capacity.
Elsie Nwanwuri Thompson was a Judge of the High Court of Rivers State and Deputy Vice President of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA). She was the first Nigerian to be elected to the African Court on Human and People’s Rights.
A landmark in the educational sector of Rivers State cannot be complete without looking at the contribution of the pioneer Vice Chancellor of Ignatius Ajuru University of Education, Prof. Rosemund Dieye Green-Osaghogulu (blessed memory).It was under her supervision that the official approval of the institution, Rivers State College of Education (COE), was renamed Ignatius Ajuru University of Education (IAUOE), in the administration of former Governor Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi.
In the administration of Old Rivers State, the first female commissioner, Constance Sarowinyo was appointed to oversee the affairs of higher education and later appointed as commissioner for economic development and planning. During her time at the helm of affairs of Information ministry in the state, the three arms of government media organisations, Rivers State Television (RSTV), Radio Rivers and Rivers State Newspaper Corporation (RSNC) got the best.
As Rivers State continued to grow after its creation, more women were given the opportunity to serve in various capacities.
Medline Ngo Tador was appointed Commissioner for Information and Culture under Military Admistrator, Captain Sam Ewang. She also served as Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development between 1997and 1999.Mrs Julie Wika was appointed Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development.
Under Dr. Peter Odili’s administration as governor of Rivers State, Mrs Tolu Ofili was appointed Commissioner for Women Affairs in 2003 after serving as Senior Special Assistant, special duties, in charge of social services in 2000.
Another woman who was in that cabinet was Ms Gloria Fiofori. She served as Commissioner for Women and Youth Affairs. Her resume became richer as she served as the Director, National Orientation Agency, NOA. For the first time in the history of Rivers State, a female was appointed Commissioner for Works, which is termed to be a male-dominated ministry. She is in the person of Okpete Ovai. She obtained an MSC in Mechanical Engineering.
An erudite scholar and academic, Prof. Mildred Amakiri was appointed Commissioner for Higher Education during Dr. Peter Odili’s administration. One of Rivers daughters who served for a long time in the development of Rivers State was Prof Roseline Konya. She served as chairman, Civil Service Commission. One of the impacts she made was re-instating of 200 civil servants whose appointments were erroneously terminated at that time. A university don, she also served as Commissioner for Environment in which her contribution helped in sanitising the state of environmental hazards as a result of activities of illegal refining of crude oil in Rivers State.
Still under Dr Odili’s administration, a woman was appointed Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice. She was Dame Aleruchi Cookey-Gam. She also served as Secretary to the State Government. She was appointed the Sole Administrator, Greater Port Harcourt Development Authority. Dame Alice Lawrence Nemi, a lawyer, became Commissioner for Education.
Mrs Joeba West was for Women Affairs and Patricia Simeon Hart for Water Resources, Mrs Emmanuela Izunwa were all female commissioners in Rivers State and their impacts were greatly felt by women.
One- time Commissioner for Information and Communication, Mrs Ibim Semenitari was appointed Acting Managing Director, Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC).
In the political history of Rivers State, such name as Betty Apiafi cannot be left out as she was the first female member elected from Rivers State into the Federal House of Representatives. She represented Abua-Odual/Ahoada East Federal Constituency at the Green Chambers. Also an elected woman who represented Port Harcourt Federal Constituency in the Green Chambers was Hon. Blessing Nsiegbe and was re-elected.
Talking about Rivers State House of Assembly, the likes of Mrs Anthonia Membere, blessed memory, Mrs Linda Stewart, Hon. Felicia Tane, Irene Inimgba as well as Victoria Nyeche, have made valuable contributions to their constituencies and remarkable growth of Rivers State in their various endeavours.
Before now, women were appointed caretaker committee chairmen of local government areas of Rivers State.
As from the Governor Nyesom Wike’s administration, the vice chairmen of the 23 local government areas of Rivers State were women. That shows how important the roles of women in socio-political development of any state and indeed the nation are.
Currently, another woman, Mrs Blessing Chigeru Amadi is representing Port Harcourt Federal Constituency II in the 10th National Assembly, House of Representatives.
Under Governor Siminalayi Fubara’s administration, in the 10th Rivers Assembly, we have such women as, Hon. Linda Somiari-Stewart, Queen Williams, Justina Emeji, Barile Nwakoh, Nkemuika Nkemjika-Ezekwe and Emilia Lucky Amadi.
Dr Roseline Uranta is the commissioner for Women Affairs.
Dr Adaeze Oreh is the Commissioner for Health. A lot of reforms are ongoing in the health sector in Rivers State. A round peg in a round hole. The determinants of health issues are women and she will use her experience as a female medical doctor to proffer solutions to problems associated with maternal and infant mortality.
Of course, no society, state or nation can develop without women.There is no doubt that women who have contributed and are still contributing to the growth of the state are all educated.
Women are important in decision-making especially in things that concern them as well as the children. Nothing should be a barrier to their full participation in politics in Rivers State. There should be policies and programmes in place to encourage the advancement of women in the political arena.
As we celebrate 2025 Democracy Day, it is important to look at where women are coming from and how far they have gone. Like Oliver Twist, women are asking for more political and elective positions in governance.
They are as beautiful as flowers. They add glamour to political programmes as they dress in different beautiful attires singing and dancing to entertain political gatherings both in the urban and at the grassroot level.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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IPC, NAWOJ Move To Encourage More Women In Politics …Seek Growth In Journalism

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In time past, the role that was ascribed to women in Africa, especially in Nigeria, was full-time house wives, which involves staying at home to give their husbands spiritual and physical foods as well as home managers.
Women’s representation in the political space remains low in Nigeria which has led to women’s voices in political offices unheard despite the adoption and promises made to ensure inclusivity of gender sensitive electoral policies in Nigeria.
Today, the scenario gradually is changing as it now involves the full time house wives, home managers, and career women and one of the reasons that women are now breaking the ceiling tops and occupying sensitive positions in politics, businesses and even in the journalism profession. Women journalists are winning awards for uniquely distinguishing themselves from just reporting to investigative journalism.
Yet, the number of these women doing well in politics and journalism profession is very insignificant compared to their male folks in Nigeria, hence, the reason why International Press Centre (IPC), through the funding by the the European Union (EU) collaborates with the Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ) to beam their searchlight on encouraging more women go into politics as well as for the growth of more women journalists especially those undertaking investigative journalism that promotes gender-sensitive reporting.
A one-day consultative meeting organised by IPC in collaboration with the European Union and NAWOJ which has the theme, “Advancing Female Journalists’ Impactful Reporting on Women Issues In Election and Democracy”, held on May 23, 2025, in Port Harcourt, focused more on the growth of women journalists, who are promoting gender-sensitive reporting, especially amplifying women’s voices during electioneering periods.
The IPC Executive Director, Lanre Arogundade, who spoke on: “Enhancing Professionalism Of Media Practitioners, especially Women’s”, stressed on the EU’s commitment to strengthen democracy in Nigeria and to increase women’s participation in politics using various strategies. The intervention strategy is an engagement with media key stakeholders and gatekeepers which will be implemented in 2026.
“This will be fully implemented in 2026 and shall include series of advocacies/interfaces visits including Participation in editorial conferences with cross-section of editors/management of print media outlets on the imperatives of the role of the media in consolidating democracy by setting agenda via issues focused, professional, public interest reporting of the electoral issues and particularly facilitating media buy-in for editorials/special reports to rebuild citizens’ confidence and trust ahead of the 2027 electoral process.
“This responds to the MTE recommendations of up scaling media intervention beyond capacity- building of journalists to include tapping into the opportunities of top management level priority influence,” Arogundade added.
He also explained the need for media engagement in promoting women, youths, and marginalised groups in politics, saying, “The intervention strategy will have a baseline assessment and media facilitated engagement on the challenges and prospects of female candidates ahead of 2027 election”.
Arogundade further revealed that plans were underway to provide training supports for female journalists so as to enable them effectively cover more women-related issues such as during electioneering periods, women from nothing to frame, wives battery, among others, so as to positively project Nigerian women in business and politics globally.
On her part, a senior lecturer at the University of Port Harcourt, Dr. Titilayo Osuagwu highlighted some problems confronting women in politics and the need for women’s recognition in politics, while stressing on some norms that have dragged women backwards and encouraged female journalists to always give women the prominence needed in their reportage.
“There cannot be meaningful development without the integration of all genders in the political sphere. There is a need to raise women’s voices in the political sphere in Nigeria. There is a paucity of recognition of gender perspectives in election and post-election reportage” Osuagwu added.
She frowned at the under-representation of women in politics despite all the promises and pledged made by the President since 2014 which was revised in 2023 to increase women’s political participation to 35 per cent and to support the enactment of laws promoting female employed in public places as well the promise to reserve senior positions and advisory roles for women in his cabinet, yet nothing significantly has been done as only 18.75 per cent of women, that is to say only 9 out of the 48 ministers.
Also speaking, the NAWOJ National Chairperson, Hajiya Aisha Ibrahim, represented by Deputy National Chairperson, Dr. Lilian Okonkwo-Agabu, appreciated IPC’s initiative and pledged collaboration on women’s empowerment and social responsibility issues.
On the aspect of grooming young journalists to grow in the journalism profession, a popular broadcaster in Nigeria, If Onyegbule stated that it was high time for women to support fellow women, especially women in politics that deserve more of women journalists reportage to get the necessary prominence they deserve to win in the election.
In her words, “The International Press Centre (IPC) and Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ) are committed to promoting democracy, human rights and gender equality through various initiatives and programmes.”
The meeting was attended by NAWOJ officials, media practitioners, and IPC representatives.

Susan Serekara-Nwikhana

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MD Clinches NCDMB’s Women In Leadership, Empowerment Award

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Managing-Director and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Starzs Investment Company Ltd (SICL), Mrs Iroghama Ogbeifun, has emerged as one of the winners of maiden Nigerian Content Development and Monitoring Board’s (NCDMB) ‘Champions of Nigerian Content Awards.
She clinched the much -coveted’ Women in Leadership and Empowerment Award which took place at the Board’s content tower headquarters in Yenagoa, the Bayelsa State capital, recently.
Receiving the award, Mrs Ogbeifun reiterated her continued commitment to use her office and expertise to empower more women, saying she has the knack to empower the female gender.
She said, “I never expected this award, I never saw it coming. This award will strengthen me and my staff to continue our quest of empowering more women”.
Speaking with newsmen shortly after receiving the award, the Starzs Investment CEO promised to keep the firm’s flag flying in the maritime and other sectors of the oil and gas industry.
“Starzs Investment Company Ltd (SICL) was founded by my father 40years ago. When I took over as MD/CEO of the firm, I felt within me that there’s need we empower women and that’s exactly what we’ve been doing.
“Under my leadership as MD/CEO of SICL, we’ve grown our fleet of ship from three to twelve. We’ve trained female seafarers and today, we’ve a female captain and still counting”, she added.
The Tide reports that Starzs Investment Company Ltd (SICL) is maritime logistic provider for the oil and gas industry.
Other awardees in various categories include, former President Goodluck Jonathan, Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company Ltd, Aradel Holdings Plc, Professor Emenike of the University of Nigeria (UNN), Mr Tony Attah of Renaissance Africa Energy Company Ltd, Bank of Industry (BOI), ThisDay Newspapers, NNPCL(now Renaissance Africa Energy Company Ltd), amongst others.
Earlier in their separate remarks, the duo of the Executive Secretary, NCDMB, Engr. Felix Omatshola-Ogbe and the Chairman of the NCDMB award advisory committee, one -time Executive Secretary of the Board, Engr. Ernest Nwapa underscored the need for the award.
The NCDMB’s Scribe, Ogbe who reiterated his desire to improve on the gains of the Board, promised a continued implementation of the NOGIC-D Act within its guidelines, saying the new Presidential executive order has also strengthened the Board under his stewardship.
The 2025 NOGOF was themed: “Driving Investment and Production Growth: Shaping a Sustainable Oil and Gas Industry through Indigenous Capacity Development”.
The Executive Secretary of the Board emphasised that the biennial event provides industry players and stakeholders with a strategic platform to share forward-looking insights, showcase upcoming projects, and deepen collaboration across the oil and gas value chain.
“More importantly, this event reminds us of the power of local capacity innovation, and inclusive partnerships in shaping the future of our industry”, Ogbe said.

 

Ariwera Ibibo-Howells, Yenagoa

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