Women
What Is The Fate Of Nigerian Woman?
For a long time, women all over the world have been crying
wolf of marginalisation without adequate measures to tackle this gender
inequality. The cry is louder and much more pronounced in Africa, especially in
Nigeria where the stakes of every woman is tied to the patriarchy of man.
There is no contesting the fact that man, from the time of
the first man, Adam, is the head of the family. But it is also unarguable that
God created Eve as a supporting partner, and not a female servant to Adam. In
today’s world, however, the male-female domination has assumed an irritating
phenomenon such that women have little or no say in home affairs, let alone in
the larger society.
This is particularly so because statistics reveal gender
gaps in health, education, workloads and earnings, among others. According to
UNESCO, two out of three women cannot read or write, and more than 60 per cent
of children out of school are female.
This gender inequality has again subjected women to several
abuses such as battering, rape and home slavery. Even when a man is caught
having an affair with a house-help, a woman is denied the right to complain.
Whereas such transgression is capable of causing a woman outright divorce. What
an injustice?
In the same vein, most women have been made to assume the
status of a house-help. Many men do not allow their wives to work in spite of
their education. They prefer limiting their women’s roles to the kitchen. Even
the few women that work are over-burdened with domestic chores without men
lending them helping hands.
The Commission on the Status of Women of the Economic and
Social Council of the United Nations had noted in a draft statement by 18
international women’s advocacy groups in 1995 that improving the status of
women is not a woman’s issue, it is a human issue. It is time, therefore, to
take action in this area.
President Goodluck
Jonathan’s administration has tried to break this gender inequality through the
Affirmative Action Plan that cedes 35 per cent of appointment to women.
This brings us to the
question of what role the Nigerian woman is expected to play now and in the
future. Without pre-empting what other people may say, I hasten to suggest that
several important roles and responsibilities are yearning for the attention and
utilisation of the Nigerian woman now and especially in this millennium. I am
saying this, because, if the Nigerian woman must make a giant leap into the
future, she must be prepared to assume giant roles and responsibilities and
should not expect roles to be given her by the male.
The Nigerian woman has in many ways proved that, apart from
the competency they have in performing domestic roles, they have also
demonstrated that what a man can do, they (women) can do better. This is proven
by the Minister of Finance and Coordinating Minister of the Economy, Mrs Ngozi
Okonjo-Iweala, and the former National Food and Drug Adminsitration and Control (NAFDAC) boss, Professor (Mrs)
Dora Akunyili.
Also, despite the tremendous achievements of the Nigerian
woman in the execution of the lofty ideals of the Family Support Programme
(FSP) during the Ibrahim Babangida days,
and the Family Economic Advancement Programme (FEAP) initiated by the
former First Lady, Mrs Mariam Abacha, there exists so much bumps on the road to
the Nigerian woman’s empowerment in this country.
These challenges require the concerted effort by the women
themselves to smoothen. This does not mean that the men should not support the
empowerment which, of course, I think without them (men) supporting the women,
the Nigerian woman won’t get to anywhere since for now men occupy more than 60
per cent of the sensitive positions in
the society.
A Mexican non-governmental organisation sometime ago, raised
a poser that, “how can we empower women if we don’t empower men too?”
This is an important question because men also need skills to adjust to new male matrimonial and
social roles which should emerge in this wake of women empowerment in this
millennium. In other words, women’s awareness of their potential,
responsibilities and choices as women is, if I may suggest, inextricably tied
to the empowerment of men, naturally.
I do not wish to be misconstrued on this matter as I have
only attempted to illuminate, at least superficially, the broader concept of
“gender in development” in contrast to the narrow slogan of “women in
development” in the strong conviction that as a lady, both men and women are so
intrinsically bound that a meaningful symbiotic relationship is necessary for
the realisation of the dream of the 21st century Nigerian woman to be
fulfilled.
The United Nations’ publication, The World’s Women, 1995
regrets that “too often, women and men live in different worlds, worlds that
differ in access to education and work opportunities, and in health, personal
security and leisure time.”
Seventy per cent of food is grown by women yet, according to
a United Nations’ report, the same percentage of the world’s 1.3 billion people
who live in abject poverty are women. In fact, poverty has a woman face.
As I pointed out earlier, these problems would require
everyone’s efforts. But the women have to initiate remedial measures to solve
them instead of waiting for the male folk who are good in complementing women’s
efforts.
In Peru, for example, men have enthusiastically supported
800 community kitchens run by 16,000 women in Lima. In Bolivia too, mothers
clubs promoting small enterprises proved so successful that most men now
participate in them under women’s control.
The Nigerian woman should, therefore, come to grips with the
reality that as the weaker sex as against the men who are strongest, they alone
can, and would effectively, hold their destiny in their own hands and chart a
path for the 21st century Nigerian woman.
Rather than hang on to the male identity or crying wolf
against men or apportioning blames on men or even looking for scape-goats,
Nigerian women should close ranks and be more creative, more dynamic and more
useful to themselves in the society. If the female folk do not tackle their problems
this way, they may be lending credence to the erroneous impression that they
are in bondage, whereas they are not.
I pray and suggest to the women that once we can hold our
own as in the Peruvian and Bolivian examples, and contribute positively wherever
they can, the sky would certainly be the limit for the 21st century Nigerian
woman.
Susan Serekara-Nwikhana
Women
Justice Prevails Over Osinachi’s Death
Unfortunately, the widower of the late gospel singer, Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja.
The husband of the deceased, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu, was sentenced to death by Justice Njideka Nwosu-Iheme.
The Federal High Court Judge, reports say, found Mr Peter Nwachukwu guilty of culpable homicide leading to the death of his wife, Osinachi, which occurred on April 8, 2022.
The ruling on the death of Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, deserves a big clap for the Nigerian Judiciary because of the high rate of domestic violence on women in the society.
This, I believe will serve as a deterrent to others now and in the future.
Lessons learned from her death are numerous, girls and women especially must be able to distinguish between oppression and submission. A woman has to be heard before she dies.
According to reports, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja. How will the children feel? What about the Nwachukwu family?
Ordinary people like us may not be able to judge but the judiciary has finally done justice to late Osinachi’s case.
Time has come when families have to start checking out on their kinsmen concerning marital affairs. Families who give out their daughters and sisters in marriage need to do a follow-up from time to time, to ensure they are comfortable. This does not mean total control in anyway.
Everybody is born of a woman, who is someone’s sister, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, niece, aunt and so on. Like the saying, “rain does not fall on one person’s roof”.
Women are weaker emotionally, so should be handled softly. No matter how large in size some women may appear, they are very frigile.
Late Osinachi Nwachukwu, was one of Nigeria’s gospel singers that her music was so inspirational. During crusades and religious programmes, the kind of crowds she gathered was something encouraging.
The “Ekwueme” song she featured in, is one of the most inspiring gospel music of our time. Till her death, I never knew she was a contributor to that beautiful music.
The impact of Osinachi’s “Ekwueme” song in the hearts of believers can never be over-emphasised.
Unfortunately, she has gone to be with her creator but will be remembered by all the good lyrics she contributed to produce.
About three years ago, the news of the late gospel singer became viral with so many persons expressing their views on what would have caused her death. So many stories were told but the issue of late Osinachi was that allegedly she sustained injuries from her husband as a result of domestic violence.
According to late Osinachi’s elder sister, who gave account of what happened to her sister, she died of blood clothing in the chest from her husband beating her chest. She said her late sister was exposed to inhuman treatments from her husband before her untimely death and denied her sister dying as a result of cancer. “She did not die of cancer”, she exposed.
Osinachi’s family sources explained that severally before her demise, they had told her to leave her marriage, having seen what she was passing through, but she never accepted the advice.
It was gathered that the family members had advised her to separate from the husband at least, since it was not divorce but she refused.
Osinachi as a believer and gospel singer might have felt that she could pray to overcome the challenges of marriage.
She would have also thought that if she left or separated from her matrimonial home, that would affect her ministry. She might have felt that God is against divorce.
As humans, there are certain things you can never easily agree with. But I think that when it comes to saving life, it is better to adhere to advice.
Of course, two good heads are better one. No one person knows it all. As a believer, she saw separation as a sin and not to save her life and take care of her children. She would tell them to relax while praying for her husband to have a change of attitude towards her.
Let us assume that the husband beat her on the chest, she refused to tell her family but good enough, she told a friend who lives in Ebonyi State that her husband hit her on the chest.
Unfortunately, they refused to tell the doctor that kind of thing occurred, so as to administer the right drugs immediately. She died leaving her children behind and her husband.
When domestic violence continues to occur in the home, what should the woman do as church people? The issue of “For Better, For Worse”, during holy matrimony by the pastors, our spiritual fathers should be looked into and we need to understand in better ways.
Different people have come up with various opinions about whether marriage should continue or ‘separate’ when domestic violence is on the peak.
Some support while others disagree. Should a woman remain in a marriage when danger is looming? We are not unaware that men too suffer domestic violence, but they do not have much challenge since they may claim to own the home. Sometimes they live outside their homes.
The only regret in calling for separation or divorce is about the well-being of the children. But for marriages that have not been blessed, we need more explanation.
It is becoming more worrisome because when marriages break, the children are at more risk as parents will not live together. I think the best way is to nurture and train kids together. The negative effects of separated homes are so much.
A lot of women have left their matrimonial homes to give peace a chance. Is it the best option? The “worse” during solemnisation cannot be relied upon to encourage enduring matrimonial violence or any other manner of one- sided wickedness. It only refers to shared burden.
It should not be interpreted to accommodate one party in a marriage practising wickedness to the other. Marriage was created as a mutual support and comforting institution and not for anti-social behaviour.
One of late Osinachi’s sons according to reports, revealed that his father told them(his children) that beating women was good and in one of the occasions, they witnessed how he pushed their mother out of her car. They also alleged that their father seized their late mother’s two cars.
It is good to be careful while taking certain actions in the presence of children in homes. Whether it is true or false, the children are watching and must have something to say when time comes.
One of the gospel singers of our time, Osinachi, is late with rumours of her husband contributing to the cause of her death. But the husband denied being responsible for the death of his wife.
He said all the allegations levelled against him were false and claimed that his late wife was sick from year 2021 before she died in 2022.
What can anybody do? Osinachi is not alive to narrate what happened. If only a lesson can be learnt where women especially, will be able to speak out when involved in any form of domestic violence, it will be better.
She would have lived to take care of her kids if she had spoken out on time. She might have been sick of other ailments but because of the revelation coming out of her children, relatives and friends, anyone can just conclude that she died as a result of maltreatment from domestic violence.
Domestic violence affects women the more. When it continues to occur, what should the woman do, separation or divorce?
Osinachi was a native of Isuochi in Abia State and married to Peter from Nnewi in Anambra State.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
Women
The Christian Teaching Mother (II)
A Christian teaching mother is one who imparts knowledge to her children and others by adhering strictly to the Christian doctrines and practices .
A real and devoted teaching mother should not ask her children and wards to keep malice.
Mothers should know that the way the teaching mother dresses speaks volumes about her while the children are watching. Teach them to dress decently either in your presence or absence.
It is important to teach the children how to respect constituted authorities, especially teachers in schools, at every educational level. Teaching them how to greet and respect elders in their neighbourhood and society at large. Obedience to parents and other elders can help children attain long life.
According to the Scriptures, “obey your parents so that your days may be long on earth”.
Furthermore, a mother should teach the children how to work hard academically instead of sending money to them to buy results and pay mercenariees in examinations.
A situation where parents go to fight teachers on disciplinary actions against their children should be discouraged.
A good teaching mother should teach what she practises as well as keeping the rules because they are watching. It is dangerous to tell lies before the children and of course, they may point such it out immediately. The mother must lead exemplary lifestyle.
The primary role of mothers is to nurture the children to adolescence because some of them cannot differentiate their left from their right.
Devotion of more time to children is very important no matter how tight the mother’s schedule may be. The mother must work hard to make ends meet since only the man cannot bear the responsibilities of keeping the home but the girl-child needs more attention. The children, especially the females need to be guided so as to avoid unwanted pregnancy, they need to be the mother’s friend.
The boys are not left out of the sight of the mothers so that they do not involve in social vices. The mother ought to monitor the boy-child so that he does not impregnate an underaged girl.
Furthermore, women are solution providers because sometimes, men may be soft with the children. Women should utilise the attributes and skills given to them by God.
Regular teaching without ceasing in the homes, church, school and in the public. The mother can spare the rod and spoil the child. Teaching does not only come from the mother, it is a combined effort with the man who is the head of the home. Even when the mother is the breadwinner, she cannot teach alone.
Regrettably, there are challenges hindering women from teaching good morals.
Moreso, busy schedules and absence of the father can hinder women from effective teaching. Mothers may not be teaching everything they are supposed to teach.
Late teaching when the children’s bad behaviour would have got out of hand is very dangerous, so, women must start early so as to catch them young.
A good teaching mother should not feel that the children should bear their father’s name and so if they turn out to be miscreants in future, their father should be held responsible.
King Solomon actually admonished his son thus, “My son, keep thy father’s commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother”.
Truly women need support when they teach. According to the Scriptures, train up a child in the way of God, so that when he or she grows up, he will not depart from it.
It should be noted that one of the tools for teaching is prayer. Daily devotional and constant fellowship with them where you teach the word of God are vital. Living by example by listening to music and differentiating between earthly music and gospel vibes will go a long way in effective teaching.
It is worrisome to note that peer pressure is one of the challenges affecting effective teaching in both schools and homes nowadays. The society is now having negative impact on the adolescents via social media, celebrities and entertainers just to mention but a few. But is better the children choose the right ways of life and eschew bad attitudes.
Good teaching mothers should not make comparison among the children because that may lead to withdrawal syndrome.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
Women
Women Can Go Without Artificial Beauty
Looking good is some women’s business. Looking beautiful for some persons is more important than food. Some prefer to appear trendy instead of attending to household pressure.
Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder. Every woman by creature is beautiful but some persons feel that the way they were created is not enough. They feel that perhaps the creator should have added more features to their physic.
Artificial beauty did not start today, it has been there as far as man exists. From time to time, there has been one form of additional make-up or the other that women especially, must add to their natural look.
When you look at some of our elders, especially women, you notice certain drills or symbols (tattoo) on their skins, mostly on their hands and legs, in form of designs with dark prints. That is a form of artificial beauty. These days, some young ones still use such to beautify themselves.
It is not only women that are involved in artificial beauty, some young men also have likeness for it. It is common nowadays to see younger male folks spend money to pierce their ears to wear earrings. They also style their hairs in various forms to appear like women so as to look more handsome. This no doubt costs them more money than being in their natural look.
Every generation grows with it’s own new systems, items, styles of artificial beauty. Before now, African women generally and Nigeria in particular had their hair in natural form.
As civilisation and westernisation continued, Nigerian women started copying, for instance, perming of their hair to look like the White women. They started using western-produced chemicals (relaxers) to make their hairs look sleepy and smoother.
Nigerian women used to plate their hair with black thread or go with their hair well cut at low level. In terms of weaving, it was without attachment. The issue of women weaving hair with attachment came with civilisation. That is also a form of make-up.
The quest for extra beauty aside the way women were created has been from one generation to another.
Two or three decades ago, ladies used mascaras to darken and thicken their eyelashes. But in this 21st century, another system has evolved. Fixing of artificial eyelashes has become the order of the day.
In that case, it becomes difficult for them to scratch their eyes Incase of any itches. Some of their eyes turn reddish because of the touch.
There was a lady who was fixing her eyelashes in a salon, unfortunately, she got a phone call that her mother was late, as she started crying, it was difficult for her to clean the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.
The reason was for fear of the eye lashes falling off while cleaning the tears off her eyes.
One funny thing about fixing of artificial eyelashes is that some persons cannot close their eyes properly. The beauty they have in mind before fixing is not really achieved as their look become something anybody cannot behold. Both the shape of their eyes and facial outlook automatically change. One begins to wonder if that is the beauty they are looking for. Instead of looking beautiful, the reverse becomes the case.
As years go by, artificial beauty becomes more sophisticated in the society. The price and cost for looking more beautiful than women were created naturally becomes higher than their natural look.
The cosmetic industry becomes one of the most viable industries worldwide because some women desire artificial beauty. Some engage in cosmetic surgery to alter any part of their body which does not give them pleasure especially the fatty parts. Some go for surgery to make their slacked breasts to return to their original shapes as well as those with big tummies.
It is interesting to note that currently, Nigerian ladies have started to give preference to their natural hair and this is attracting a lot of admiration for them. Many prefer that natural look with low cuts. With that, the cost of maintaining the hair by ladies is reduced.
I think this is commendable as it will save the women from the negative effect of chemical used in manufacturing hair relaxers.
It is also common to see ladies on low cut hairs that are either light complexion, red and other funny colours.
People have been addicted to artificial beauty to the extent that they insert certain substances into their bodies to make them become more robust and attractive to their admirers.
I don’t understand why we should be crazy about adding more to our natural look. Every woman wants to look attractive in a packaged manner without recognising the implications of artificial beauty and make-up.
In fact, women’s quest for beauty has taken different dimension as they tend to appear trendy at home, in offices and as they go about their businesses. That is just to feel belonged and achieve self-esteem.
I recall a few years back, my pastor who trained as an Engineer advised women against the use of lipstick. He said that one of the chemical components of lipstick is lead and that it is dangerous to humans. Many women may not understand the reality of what he said until it manifests.
I think those who are naturally beautiful should not go for artificial make-ups. They should be satisfied with the work of their creator. Women should not continue to paint their faces to look like masquerades and should not lose value due to artificial beauty.
It may interest you to know that persons who apply make-ups excessively are mocked instead of being admired. Make-ups can be applied lightly.
Fixing of nails is another business. After fixing nails, some women find it difficult to perform house cores. Washing their personal belongings becomes a problem. The artificial nails become so long and sophisticated to the extent that the bearer cannot handle objects properly. Those in that habit also find it difficult to eat food with the fingers.
There are people who feel they should have been born in certain colour but when the reverse is the case, they seek artificial make-up. Use of skin-toning cream and soap becomes the option for artificial beauty. This happens to the extent that the users start having dark spots on the skin. Blisters occur on their faces and legs.
Unfortunately, this is an era when there are different kinds of cancer affecting women especially. It becomes difficult to identify the kind of make-up that can be cancerous.
It is high time people had stopped following trend to the detriment of their health.
Ladies should not present themselves as laughing stock with unnecessary make-up as they can still be cherished in their natural outlook.
Eunice Choko – Kayode
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