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Early Marriage: ldeal For Teenagers?

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Early marriage literarily is termed to be a time in a young girl’s life that she is being forced to get into marriage before attaining maturable stage of involving the young girl into marriage. To my view as an individual, the stages that I suggest could be termed “EARLY” for a girl to get into marriage is between the age bracket of (0-17yrs). At this stage the young girl is expected to be in such a time in her life that she is being tutored either academically or morally by her parents/guardian. Academically, she should be in school in order to be literate and versatile in the field of her study, but she is not, she should ensure she gets through the primary and secondary school, obtain her certificate to be able to make her have a focus and direction in life.

To be honest and sincere, young girls that venture into such act so early in life might find it difficult to attain and be exposed to a certain level in this our dispensation. Technically, she has to have a handwork that will earn her some savings in future as a young lady. As we all know the world generally is becoming a global world and as well dynamic. She as a young girl ought to be hardworking, skillful and knowledgeable domestically and academically as well.

Domestically, through out the age bracket of her life growing up, she should be under the tutelage of a guardian or parents who will direct her and educate her on the basic ethics/norms in the society and as well as domestic chores that should be known to a young girl of her age. As the saying goes “Educate the Girl Child, You Educate a Nation.” When a young girl is being encouraged to go into early, marriage, it deprives the girl the opportunity that is availed to every girl of her age to learn all the rudiments involved in a women’s life. As we all are aware that these days no man is ready to get a woman to constitute a nuisance and thereby become a liability to them and the society. Most men are always encouraged when their woman is hardworking and productive in the home. You ought to have something to contribute not necessarily financially but in other areas. When there is a vacuum in a home you tend to become a liability rather than an asset that ought to be. We should know as my own opinion, that marriage is not all about a woman getting into it and just giving birth to children, but there are more to it than just that. When a woman is allowed to be educated to a certain level she will be able to contribute positively not only on her marriage but in the society at large. She should be able to contribute meaningfully to the society at large. When a young girl is educated before getting into marriage, she will really have what to give, because life is and should be a “give and take thing.” ‘Remember this, you cannot give out what you do not have.” You should not always stand to be at the receiving end but you should give out as well.

When a child is being forced into early marriage, she has already been tied down to being just a “furniture with no use or value as a human being. Having said all these, we are all able to understand that early marriage has nothing positive to offer rather detrimental to her as an individual and the society at large. My suggestion towards this issue that is rampaging our society is firstly, there should be adequate campaign from the grassroot that will fight against the menace. At the rural areas there should be creation of awareness to the families, letting them know the dangers that is involved in such act.

Secondly, legally, there should be a law that will kick against such act and make it illegal for any parents to have her child given out early in marriage.

Thirdly, in our churches they should be educated towards that area, there could be programmes such as talk shows, seminars etc. Letting the sister and parents in church understand the negative impact of early marriage to our families and society at large.

This will go a long way to disseminate the information on early marriage in our society. Early marriage has a whole lot of adverse effect to the individual and society at large. Within the age bracket that I have attributed like the ages of (9-12 years) of age, health  wise or medically it is not adviseable for a young girl to go through child bearing to avoid having medical complication to her. When a young girl is exposed to such hurdle it steals away some talents in her that would be discovered in her if being groomed in the proper manner.

As a young girl, in the society, the child has the right to say no when she is being forced into getting married early, because with that she can demand for her right to education to any level of her choice.

Economically, the society should make sure that there is employment opportunity for the parents to be able to cater for the upbringing of the child, because most times parents force their child into early marriage due to the circumstances and the poverty that has enveloped the society at large. For instance, when the suitor so to say has the money or is rich and wealthy, that will make the parents to be pushed into getting their child into early marriage, so as to have their in-laws to cater for them and probably the girl’s younger once. But when they are in abject poverty that will deprive them the opportunity of giving the child what rightly belongs to her when a child is pre-mature at heart and age she might know little or nothing when it comes to handling issues about relationships, when there are misunderstanding on the home, she might have difficulties on making the right decisions and making sure that they don’t jeopardize or endanger her future in life. Early marriage, is detrimental to a child because the child will have to endanger her self in the sense that when issues that needs to be handled comes up, there might be pressure so much that she will be forced out of marriage and divorce might be the next option for such a child.

Early marriage for a child has been an issue that makes a child to be deprived of her dignity and respect as a woman. When you cheapen yourself to early marriage, the respect that should be adequately given to such a child will not be there. The man in question will tend to take the child for a ride. She would be disregarded and her opinion or suggestion might not be taken serious, because they will always think she is still a child. In terms of sex education she might not be knowledgeable about sex and when the man has that feeling, lead to the man getting his satisfaction else where thereby involving on extra-marital affair, that as well will also push the girl into opting for a divorce early in life.

With these views of mine, I know that it will go a long way in making early marriage an act that will be abolished totally in our society.

 

Ucheoma Dike/Damiete Bobmanuel

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Women

Women Can Build Formidable Marital Homes

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Building formidable marital homes starts before marriage. Single women also need to pick the right kind of person they think can build a formidable home with them.
When you marry the wrong person, the home will be a terrible place. Remember the person you will marry will leave with you forever as marriage is a life long affair.
To build a formidable marriage, you must consider who you marry. Ensure the person you pick mWomen can build formidable marital home with you.
The person you pick matters a lot. The quality of person determines the quality of marriage.
Marriage does not change people so it is important you understand who you marry early enough.
Marriage reveals who people are. A lot of people hide their characters and habit before marriage and showcase them when marriage is mature.
When you talk of marriage, you are talking about the future of your life, future of the children and all that concerns them. The way you manage your partner will encourage of discourage him or her.
A wife may have interest in doing a paid employed job, but the spouse may not allow her to do that. There are kinds of businesses that some women may want to engage in but their spouses will shut them down.
For Christians, it is expected that not much should be done about women in every circumstances since they can should build formidable marital homes.
It is assumed that as believers, they will understand each other. But two believers may have different doctrinal believes. Both may be Christians, your ideas may differ. Partners who are believers may not think the same way when it comes to giving in the things of God.
Most problems for couples is assumption. Two people must work together when they agree. A partner may like every contribution in church and giving to the need while his wife may be considering their level of income.
Marriage should be an intentional thing and nobody should be coerced into it. There should be no compromise. The idea of marrying because others are should not be the case.
Good marriages don’t make the news but bad ones do. It may interest you to know some women chase their husbands away from home. No matter the level of anger in a woman, it shouldn’t be that a woman uses harmful object on her husband.
When venturing into marriage, the issue of age should not discourage you. Yes, it is necessary but that can be your own time to get married. A situation where you lament that others are all married and rush into marriage, may be disastrous.
You must be prepared before going into marriage.
Marriage is not an employment where you can resign at a time you like. Even in employment, you give some notice for resignation. It is not easy to quit marriage. Consultation must be done from experts and stakeholders in marriage, that is why you don’t rush into marriage.
Before going into marriage, you must ask questions to know who you want to marry.
Remember, better woman will make better society.
When a husband and wife have disagreement in the home and the matter is reported to the elders in the local palace, the woman is always blamed and sometimes mandated to apologise to the husband.
That may appear humiliating. Some persons say it is wrong to judge the woman in the presence of the husband.
What about a situation where the man is at fault? The truth is not always said in the public or before the man and his wife.
Some people argue that it is a way of protecting the marriage and the man cn be cautioned behind the wife by his kinsmen.
Women should bear in mind that the elders in the family do not hate them by supporting the and asking the wife to appologise when disappointment occurs in the home.
Protection of the home as far as husband and wife are concerned is very important. There is the belief by men that if the man is blamed before the wife, that will warrant her to raise shoulders.
Elders also say that will prevent the woman from reporting every little issue that comes up in the home.
Women should not think that they are being cheated and should continue to be better builders of the home and society.
Acknowledging faults in issues relating to your marriage does not mean weakness but a sign that peace reigns in the home.
Remember, “home is a person”.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Should Know In Marriage

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Every married person should be able to quit childish ways for a long lasting marriage.
Growing up in marriage means keeping the vows made during holy matrimony, obeying the rules guiding marriage. Love your spouse and treat him/her kindly. Growing up is being able to hold intelligent discussions with your partner.
Do not allow problems to make you expose your spouse in the public.
When married, you kick out childish behaviours. These days, you see a lot of people unable to manage their emotions well.
Do not take up relationship when you still think like a child. If you are not ready to take up responsibility, do not go into marriage. You may be having money or being financially buoyant, but maturity matters a lot. How you respond to issues matters a lot in your marriage. When arguments come up, it should not lead to a point where couples start destroying valuable items in the home.
Do not get angry all the time. Anger causes destruction in a home that might have been built for several years. Do not be like kids, who want to throw away toys when they get angry.
In marriage, the woman is responsible to the husband and the man should be accountable to the wife. Marriage requires new skills in communication if it will work well.
The woman needs to grow up to be able to manage the home. Managing the home is not a child’s play.
You have to build a home that will suit your taste. Sweet homes were built by people. When your spouse gets angry, you put yourself into his or her shoes. Showing empathy to each other will help to run the family smoothly.
Appreciating the woman who does all the house work alone is good. From childbearing through nurturing them till they become adults rest squarely on the woman.
Building formidable marriage is not just for two people but for everybody around them. The woman should care for her in-laws and others in her care. Treating other children like her biological children.
In marriage, treat your spouse better than you handle your phones. Priority should be given to your spouse instead of phones. Some women can get glued to their phones for a longer period instead of attending to their husbands. Activities in your phones should not take all your time as your spouse is more important than them.
Some men often complain about their wives’ addiction to their phones.
There was the issue of a woman that was accused by her husband about getting glued to her phone always and the reason she gave was that her husband was not coming home when he should come. She said as a result of that, she needed something to keep her busy.
Avoid the habit of sleeping with your phones. It is disrespectful when a spouse is talking to a partner and she is attending to a phone or internet. This is a habit women should work on as it is in many homes. Experts say that it leads to emotional gaps.
In marriage, communication is key. Communication must be a two- way thing. When a partner is talking, the other must respond and not just nodding his or her head.
Couples need to be together for bonding. Relationship with children is temporary while that with spouse is more permanent. When children grow up and get married, they will leave the home while husband and wife will live on forever. You see where husband and wife will be living in a big house.
A spouse should be able to accommodate eath other’s weakness.
Do you know that home is a person. Life can give you everything you desire but can be disastrous if there is no love.
Do not allow fear to rule you while trying to show love in building your home. A situation where you think that after building a home and it tears apart in future. This should be discouraged.
When you grow up in marriage, you build formidable marriage.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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