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Early Marriage: ldeal For Teenagers?

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Early marriage literarily is termed to be a time in a young girl’s life that she is being forced to get into marriage before attaining maturable stage of involving the young girl into marriage. To my view as an individual, the stages that I suggest could be termed “EARLY” for a girl to get into marriage is between the age bracket of (0-17yrs). At this stage the young girl is expected to be in such a time in her life that she is being tutored either academically or morally by her parents/guardian. Academically, she should be in school in order to be literate and versatile in the field of her study, but she is not, she should ensure she gets through the primary and secondary school, obtain her certificate to be able to make her have a focus and direction in life.

To be honest and sincere, young girls that venture into such act so early in life might find it difficult to attain and be exposed to a certain level in this our dispensation. Technically, she has to have a handwork that will earn her some savings in future as a young lady. As we all know the world generally is becoming a global world and as well dynamic. She as a young girl ought to be hardworking, skillful and knowledgeable domestically and academically as well.

Domestically, through out the age bracket of her life growing up, she should be under the tutelage of a guardian or parents who will direct her and educate her on the basic ethics/norms in the society and as well as domestic chores that should be known to a young girl of her age. As the saying goes “Educate the Girl Child, You Educate a Nation.” When a young girl is being encouraged to go into early, marriage, it deprives the girl the opportunity that is availed to every girl of her age to learn all the rudiments involved in a women’s life. As we all are aware that these days no man is ready to get a woman to constitute a nuisance and thereby become a liability to them and the society. Most men are always encouraged when their woman is hardworking and productive in the home. You ought to have something to contribute not necessarily financially but in other areas. When there is a vacuum in a home you tend to become a liability rather than an asset that ought to be. We should know as my own opinion, that marriage is not all about a woman getting into it and just giving birth to children, but there are more to it than just that. When a woman is allowed to be educated to a certain level she will be able to contribute positively not only on her marriage but in the society at large. She should be able to contribute meaningfully to the society at large. When a young girl is educated before getting into marriage, she will really have what to give, because life is and should be a “give and take thing.” ‘Remember this, you cannot give out what you do not have.” You should not always stand to be at the receiving end but you should give out as well.

When a child is being forced into early marriage, she has already been tied down to being just a “furniture with no use or value as a human being. Having said all these, we are all able to understand that early marriage has nothing positive to offer rather detrimental to her as an individual and the society at large. My suggestion towards this issue that is rampaging our society is firstly, there should be adequate campaign from the grassroot that will fight against the menace. At the rural areas there should be creation of awareness to the families, letting them know the dangers that is involved in such act.

Secondly, legally, there should be a law that will kick against such act and make it illegal for any parents to have her child given out early in marriage.

Thirdly, in our churches they should be educated towards that area, there could be programmes such as talk shows, seminars etc. Letting the sister and parents in church understand the negative impact of early marriage to our families and society at large.

This will go a long way to disseminate the information on early marriage in our society. Early marriage has a whole lot of adverse effect to the individual and society at large. Within the age bracket that I have attributed like the ages of (9-12 years) of age, health  wise or medically it is not adviseable for a young girl to go through child bearing to avoid having medical complication to her. When a young girl is exposed to such hurdle it steals away some talents in her that would be discovered in her if being groomed in the proper manner.

As a young girl, in the society, the child has the right to say no when she is being forced into getting married early, because with that she can demand for her right to education to any level of her choice.

Economically, the society should make sure that there is employment opportunity for the parents to be able to cater for the upbringing of the child, because most times parents force their child into early marriage due to the circumstances and the poverty that has enveloped the society at large. For instance, when the suitor so to say has the money or is rich and wealthy, that will make the parents to be pushed into getting their child into early marriage, so as to have their in-laws to cater for them and probably the girl’s younger once. But when they are in abject poverty that will deprive them the opportunity of giving the child what rightly belongs to her when a child is pre-mature at heart and age she might know little or nothing when it comes to handling issues about relationships, when there are misunderstanding on the home, she might have difficulties on making the right decisions and making sure that they don’t jeopardize or endanger her future in life. Early marriage, is detrimental to a child because the child will have to endanger her self in the sense that when issues that needs to be handled comes up, there might be pressure so much that she will be forced out of marriage and divorce might be the next option for such a child.

Early marriage for a child has been an issue that makes a child to be deprived of her dignity and respect as a woman. When you cheapen yourself to early marriage, the respect that should be adequately given to such a child will not be there. The man in question will tend to take the child for a ride. She would be disregarded and her opinion or suggestion might not be taken serious, because they will always think she is still a child. In terms of sex education she might not be knowledgeable about sex and when the man has that feeling, lead to the man getting his satisfaction else where thereby involving on extra-marital affair, that as well will also push the girl into opting for a divorce early in life.

With these views of mine, I know that it will go a long way in making early marriage an act that will be abolished totally in our society.

 

Ucheoma Dike/Damiete Bobmanuel

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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