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Unheard Voice Of The Teens (II)

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The last time, I talked about how parents end their kids’ dreams by forcing a particular career on them. Well, this time I am here to talk about parental relationship and communication. You, as a parent, do you know your child? And you as a child, do you know your parents?
50 per cent of teens do not know their parents well enough and that creates a little inner hatred for their parents because, they don’t know them enough to understand their decisions and actions. 65 per cent of our parents do not know their children also, which caused a lot of misunderstanding and havoc in our homes. The teenagers need to be drawn closer to their parents especially their mom or preferably, both. Why did I mention mum first? Well, that’s because most of us see our fathers as very strict, tough and like some would say, “No Go Area”. I said mum because I feel like our mum will be able to get us more than our dad.
Yes, a father is meant to be strict and hard on a child so that they can sit up or should I say buckle up, but then again it’s also good for them to draw us back and try to communicate well with us. I feel that a father who communicates well with his child, will get the chance to know the child better. Because of the harsh treatment most parents show up or put out, most teens have found it really hard to be open to their parents. Our parents are supposed to be our best buddy or best friends, especially our mum. I’m not saying a dad can’t be our best friend too but for me, I think mums would make a better best friend. But these days, neither mum nor dad makes a good or better best friend and it’s very bad. For instance, in “Sweet Sixteen”, Aliya was close to her dad more than her mum. She was close to her dad in the sense that she could tell him anything, whether good or bad, without getting a bad reaction from him. That is the kind of relationship most kids want with their parents. But in most homes, it’s impossible because the moment you tell them you get shoved off or get scolded. In most homes too, the parents are a way  too busy for some chit-chat.
I wouldn’t say only the girl gender needs that kind of relationship, because, the boy child also faces difficulties and they also need to pour out their heart to someone and also get advices in return. They also need to be put on the right track. Parents shouldn’t expect them to figure out everything themselves because they are male children. It doesn’t make sense. I see communication as a way of getting to know about your child’s daily activities and welfare. I see communication or parental relationships as a chance of knowing how the child feels. I mean, it’s such a lovely thing and it helps build a home.
Communication or parental relationship isn’t just something you build anytime especially at an older stage of a child’s life for example, at the age of 12 or 13. It is something you build or start at an early stage of a child’s life. Some parents may feel like they know their child too well but what they don’t know is that their children can put on a façade. Some kids are like blank pages on the outer side. They let you see what they want you to see and hide what they don’t want you to see. I mean, why will some kids hide some things and emotions from their parents? Is it that they don’t trust them? Well, I feel the answer is  No they don’t. I mean, you failed as a parent to bring them close and communicate with them, so why should they trust you enough to open up to you? By communicating, I don’t mean asking them how was class? How is everything going? How they are and all those random questions. I mean heart to heart conversation. The type where you push your parental features aside and act like a best friend or childhood friend.
You can’t put up a parental feature and expect a child to be open. You can’t tell us to tell you things because you’re our parents and you have the right to know. No, it doesn’t work that way and you also don’t expect us to spill anything that way. At this communication stage, we don’t want our parents, we want our age mate. No seriousness, no scolding, just all attentive, contribution, advices and calmness. In our african homes, dating is prohibited. At an early stage our parents tell we, the girls, how bad it is to date a guy because it’ll ruin us and our future or we might derail from our path. Honestly, I feel it’s not to just sit the child for three hours to five hours talking and advising a child about sex and dating because if there’s lack of communication skill between them, they’ll still do it at your back. Well, I’m not saying all children are that stubborn or I’m not saying all children/teens do not adhere to this “No dating” rule. I’m just saying communication is very very important. It’ll help the mother a lot to know what the child is up to and also the reason. Sometimes, I wonder if our African parents aren’t jealous of how close the American child and their mum are. Or don’t our African parents crave for that kind of closeness or relationship?
Also, I don’t see the need for house prisoning or over protectiveness because I’ve seen cases or situations where the over protected ones are the ones who mess up the most. Some don’t mess up or misbehave because they want to. They do it because of peer group influence. And by the way, you can’t lock or monitor a child’s movement forever. I mean, they go to school and you are not in school, so anything can happen. There have also been cases where students fall easy from school. There have also been cases of a pastor’s daughter getting pregnant. If you watch well, these are over protected children. Isn’t it surprising? I mean, after all the strict training and over protectiveness? How come?
There are children that are so hard to please. Children that are never contented. You buy them almost everything and also give them almost everything yet, they don’t get satisfied. Yet people can still get them with other things. Yes, we have children like that. There have been situations where the ones you give almost everything to, still goes out. For instance, the book “Precious Little Darlings” their parents pampered them to nonsense because they were the only children they had after their many years of childlessness. They gave them everything a growing child need, they were treated like royalties yet they still decided to become useless.
To be contd.

Peer group influence and over pampering spoiled them. Not being contented with what they have, put them into trouble. Because, I see no reason why a child who can get anything they want will still decide to be foolish. To we, the readers, it was over pampering but to the parents, they were trying to make life comfortable and contented for them
Too much of everything is bad though. Too much strictness, over pampering, over protectiveness etc. Is bad. There is also time for everything. Time to be serious, time to be strict, time to play and so on. As a growing child, we deserve lots of parental attention and communication.
Before I drop my pen, I’ll love to address the matter of parents leaving their child with neighbors. Especially those parents with one child. It is very bad and dangerous. Why? Because, those children will eventually pick out the bad and wrong things. Children tend to learn the wrong things first and fast. Also, they could be harmed or abused but you’ll never know. Most kids are very secretive and quiet, especially when threatened by their abusers. So please and please do not leave your kids with your neighbors. No matter how you trust them. And please parents should try so hard to build a parental relationship with their kids. It is very very important. You’ll see the beauty of it when you do it. Most of the teens crave for it but can’t get it because it’s too late while some of teen are very lucky to have listening parents. So please my advice to our lovely parents out there, is for them to create time for us and draw us close. We appreciate all your efforts  and we love you. And my advice for my great teens out there, is for them to try and get closer to their parents so as to get to know them better. You’ll eventually find out that they aren’t as bad as you see them and whatever they do is for your good.

These are just how we teens feel and see things.   Low-key teens want them but lack the courage to ask

 

By:  Cherie Akwu

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Youths’ Role In NationBuilding

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Nation building is a dynamic process involving all segments of the locality, including the often-overlooked and undermined youth population. Youths represent a vast and often untapped resource for immediate and long-term community development efforts. They also provide an invaluable resource for the progress of any society as well as its development. As youths are brought into and connected with national issues and programmes (they have often times been ignored/excluded), they can participate actively and contribute to decision-making at multiple levels.
As youths are engaged in more sustained positive relationships with adults, other youths and national development programmes, apart from realising that they are valued citizens of their nations, such collaborations and participation may lead to skill enhancement, empowerments and confidence-building traits, which will help prepare them for active interest and involvement in nation-building (even in future).
The total population of those between the ages of 15 and 34 was about 30 million in the 1991 census, equivalent to one of every three Nigerians. It was projected that by the year 2000, the total population of this category of young person’s would be about 38 million (National Youth Policy, 2001). In 2006, a nation-wide population and housing census was conducted to update the records. It indicated that the youth profile in the Nigerian population has tremendously improved to 53 million (NPC, 2006).
Apart from the issue of numerical strength, global trend is towards emphasising the primacy of youth in the developmental process, with deliberate efforts by national governments to create conditions that will encourage youth to utilise their energies and resourcefulness for growth and sustainable development of their nations. It was in the light of this development that the Nigerian Youth Organisations in their memorandum to the last National Political Reform Conference maintained that:
“Nigerian youth must have a voice and must be given a greater say to contribute in the way he is governed and allowed to play greater role in leadership and governance so that at all times, he is properly equipped to assume the mantle of leadership which inevitably must come someday. (National Political Reform Conference 2005:15).
However, the prevailing conditions in much of the developing nations, especially Nigeria, have seriously extenuated the potentials of the youth as agents of social change. These challenges range from the economic and social to the cultural. The treacherous triangle of poverty, illiteracy and unemployment in which the bulk of Nigerian youths are currently trapped, has severally challenged their sensibility and has in the long run given rise to what sociologists term as attitudes of fatalism, resignation and acceptance of the situation (Heralambos, 2001). The persistence of these social problems has created an environment where youth are cheaply available for manipulation by self-seeking politicians. Poverty, illiteracy and unemployment are interrelated conditions that generate human needs and therefore constitute a state of deprivation.
As the youth continue to remain in this state, there is pent-up emotions and untapped energies. They provide cheap labour to execute the design of political gladiators and ethnic champions. In an apparent indictment of the Nigerian politicians, Togbolo (2006) observed, “they take advantage of the poverty-stricken nature of the country to exploit the people; politicians are fond of using the youth restive nature as a political strategy to have their way.”
According to Gribble (2010), “more than half of the world’s population under the age of 25 (between ages 15 and 24) are in greatest need of empowerment, those who are younger will quickly come of age and share these same needs. This segment of the population (15 to 24) is expected to continue growing faster than other segments for at least 20 more years” (Gribble, 2010). With the swelling wave of young people, access, empowerment and their engagement in nation-building becomes critical if they are to contribute effectively.
Uhunmwuangbo and Oghator (2013) suggested two (2) major motivations which have brought the converge of youth (young persons) into the policy agenda of national governments, thus fascinate and prioritised youth inclusion to the building process of any nation. According to them, the first is the global process of democratisation, beginning in Southern Europe, extending to Latin America, Asia and Africa, and more recently to Eastern Europe (Almond, 2004).
The second is the phenomenon of globalisation that has seriously challenged the capacity of nation-state to govern and which, according to Heady, et al, embodied a transformation of the spatial organisation of social relations and transaction (Heady, 1979). The combined effects of these global trends have confronted and dismantled authoritarian regimes in a decisive way, and at the same time rekindled the spirit of civil society in the political process (Suleiman, 2006).
The youth as an important component of the civil society is in the process of self rediscovery in an era characterised by the intense movement of the social forces of democratisation and globalisation. As they interact with other actors in the social system, the youth express their interest and needs, they relate with relevant political institutions and political processes to articulate their views and promote shared interest (Suleiman, 2006).
The role of education positioning and providing youth with access to effective engagement in national development which is a way of incorporating them in the decision-making process of the nation’s governance, nation-building activities where they are welcomed, with accurate and comprehensive information which will empower them to make healthy decisions.
There is no how the untapped capacities in youth can be tapped and utilised with an all-inclusive, participatory and synergy approach; thus, a suggestive dimension for involving the youth in nation-building. Youth participation, according to Cornwall (2010), refers to the involvement of youth in responsible, challenging action that meets genuine needs, with opportunities for planning and/or decision-making affecting others in an activity whose impact or consequence is extended to others. i.e outside or beyond the youth participants themselves. Rajani (1999) notes that, “it is only through participation that youth develop skills, build competencies, form aspirations, gain confidence and attain valuable resources.” This shows that youth participation therefore is a product and strategy of sustainable human development.
Youth comprise nearly 30 per cent of the world’s population. These large members of young people are an opportunity; an investment to their country. Youth participation in nation-building programmes/activities therefore is to: Strengthen young people’s abilities to meet their own subsistence needs; prevent and reduce vulnerabilities to economic, political and socially unstable environemnts; promote owership and sustainability of change interventions; help gain entry into target communites and build up trust and social cpaital.
Nigeria with over 140 million people and over fifty percent of youths cannot afford to lock out the youths if they must compete politically, technologically and scientifically in order to align itself with the sustainable development in Africa in particular and the developed world in general. Nigeria can build a strong and viable nation if and only if there is an existence of common values, beliefs, attitudes, effective leadership and a will to live together as a nation. Such transformations must allow every group (especially the youth population) to participate in the economic, political and the social spheres of the nation.
The following recommendations are discernibly based on the foregoing: Youth should be given the opportunity to develop their capacities thrugh balanced education and exposure. Skills acquisition and entrepreneurship will help reduce idleness among youths and keep them from being involved in crime and other activities that are counterproductive in nation-building. Youths should be made relevant and involved in leadership at different levels of government. We must moderate our demands on our youths and as well condition their behavior in line with our cultural values.
The youth of today must not fail this nation.
Concluded

Immanmuel Rohi
Rohi is a member of the Nigerian Youth Volunteers, Rivers State.

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‘How You Go Forward Is Your Responsibility’ 

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What happened to you was not fair. You were merely a collateral damage on someone else’s war path, an innocent bystander, who got wrecked out of proximity.
We are all hurt by life, some of us from egregious wrongdoings, others by unprocessed pain and sidelined emotions. No matter the source, we are all handed a play of cards, and sometimes, they are not a winning hand.
Yet what we cannot forget is that even when we are not at fault, healing in the aftermath will always fall on us and instead of being burdened by this, we can actually learn to see it as a rare gift.
Healing is our responsibility because, if it is not an unfair circumstance it becomes an unlived life.
Healing is our responsibility because unprocessed pain gets transferred to everyone around us, and we are not going to allow what someone else did to us to become what we do to those we love.
Healing is our responsibility because we have this one life, this single shot to do something important.
Healing is our responsibility because if we want our lives to be different, sitting and waiting for someone else to make them so, will not actually change them. It will only make us dependent and bitter.
Healing is our responsibility because we have the power to heal ourselves, even if we have previously been led to believe we do not.
Healing is our responsibility because we are uncomfortable, and discomfort almost always signals a place in life in which we are slated to rise up and transform.
Healing is our responsibility because every great person you deeply admire began with every odd against them, and learned their inner power which had no match for the worst of what life could offer.
Healing is our responsibility because “healing” is actually not returning to how and who we were before, it is becoming someone we have never been, someone stronger, someone wiser, someone kinder.
When we heal, we step into the people we have always wanted to be. We also are not only able to metabolise the pain, we are able to effect real change in our lives, in our families, and in our communities. We are able to pursue our dreams more freely. We are able to handle whatever life throws at us, because we are self-efficient and assured. We are more willing to dare, risk, and dream of broader horizons, ones we never thought we would reach.
The thing is that when someone else does something wrong and it affects us, we often sit around waiting for them to take the pain away, as though they could come along and undo what has been done.
We fail to realise that in that hurt, we had the most important lessons of our lives and the fertile breeding ground upon which we can start to build everything we really want.
We are not meant to get through life unscathed.
We are not meant to get to the finish line unscarred, clean and bored.
Life hurts us all in different ways, but it is how we respond and who we become that determine whether a trauma becomes a tragedy, or the beginning of the story of how the victim became the hero.
Culled from January Nelson.

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COVID-19 In Babies And Children: Symptoms, Prevention

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With the re-occurring traits of COVID – 19 in Nigeria, it is important that parents and gurdians take extra care of their children.  Reports from Nigerian Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) has it that,as from 16th to18th July, 2022, 478 new cases were confirmed and two deaths recorded.
A paediatrician and infectious disease expert, Dr Aaron Milstone at the Johns Hopkins Children Centre, has advised that it is important for parents and children to take every possible safety precautions and understand all risks and symptoms related to COVID – 19.
Dr Milstone talked about COVID – 19 symptoms in children, how to keep babies and children safe,the risk infected children may lose to others and an overview of Multi system Inflammatory Syndrome in Children  (MIS – C), an unknown but serious condition that may be related to the exposure of the virus.
He added that coronavirus variants, including the very contagious omicron variant has continued to spread, particularly in areas with low rates of community COVID – 19 vaccination among populations such as children under 5, who cannot yet be vaccinated.
According to him, “For children too young to be vaccinated, and adults who have not received Coronavirus vaccines,it is important to follow proven COVID -19 precautions such as mask wearing when in public,indoor places to reduce the chance of becoming infected with the coronavirus. “Indoor activities are riskier than outdoor activities, but risk can be reduced by masking, distancing, hand washing and improved ventilation. Parents and caregivers should understand that children infected with the coronavirus can develop complications requiring hospitalisation and can transmit the virus to others,” Milstone said.
He noted that, in rare cases,children infected with the coronavirus  can develop a serious lung infection and become sick with COVID – 19 and deaths have occurred. That is why it is important to take precautions and prevent infection in children as well as adults.
“According to U. S. Centres for Disease Control and Prevention  (CDC), it appears that women infected with coronavirus can in rare cases pass the disease to their babies. Adding that, infants can also become infected shortly after being born,and most newsborns who test positive for the coronavirus have mild symptoms or none at all and recover, but serious cases have occured.
Pregnant women should take extra precautions,including talking to their doctors about getting a COVID – 19 vaccine to avoid the coronavirus.
Milstone also noted that,there is no evidence that the virus causing COVID – 19 is present in breastmilk but because there is a possibility of spreading COVID – 19 during breastfeeding through respiratory droplets,it is very important for pregnant women to follow safety guidelines.
“Generally, COVID – 19 symptoms in children and babies are milder than those in adults and some infected children may not have any signs of being sick at all; the symptoms include cough,shortness of breath or difficulty in breathing, muscle or body aches,sore throat, loss of smell or taste, diarrhea, headache, new fatigue, nausea or vomiting and congestion or running nose . Fever and cough are common COVID – 19 symptoms in both adults and children, shortness of breath is more likely to be seen in adults . However, serious illness in children with COVID -19 is possible and parents should stay alert if their child is diagnosed with or shows signs of the disease”, Milstone said.

By: Ibinabo Ogolo

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