Women

Is Feminity Also A Disability?

Published

7 years ago

December 2, 2016

In spite of being disadvantaged by gender, a number of Nigerian women, particularly from the Igbo and Yoruba ethnic groups, have made their marks in different fields. Nevertheless, the profile of the Nigerian woman shows her continuing disadvantaged position in comparison to her male counterpart. A majority of them are afflicted by poverty, the causes of which could be traced to gender discrimination. One major cause of poverty among women is their low access to credit and income-earning opportunities, as well as their marginalisation from major economic activities. Referring to this economic disempowerment of Nigerian women, Okoye (2000:209) shows how, in comparison to men, women are worse hit as a result of their very limited involvement in economic activities in relation to their male counterparts.

Women are equally economically disadvantaged and impoverished in terms of ownership of the means of production such as land. In all but a handful of ethnic groups in the country, tradition has decreed that the Nigerian woman cannot own or inherit land. Writing about this unfortunate situation, Nwankwo (2001: 1) explains, “Traditionally, women do not own land and therefore cannot inherit land either from their fathers or husbands.”

The Nigerian woman’s economic powerlessness is also reflected in her subordination not only to her husband but also to her own male children. If she outlives her husband, she is debarred by culture and tradition from assuming the headship of the family and has no right to administer the estate of her late husband, especially where there is an Okpala or first-born son (among the Igbo). Here, “A woman is not allowed to inherit her husband’s estate. Instead, she is inherited along with the estate by another male in the family… Customary law has denied the female sex every right of inheritance, her contribution to the acquisition of the estate notwithstanding”, Nwankwo (2001:1,4). Most Nigerian women are also afflicted with illiteracy, as poverty and illiteracy often go together. Globally, most illiterate women are poor rural dwellers and millions of such women are living in abject poverty all over the developing world, most of them in Asia and sub-Saharan Africa. The worst hit is Africa where by the last decade of the twentieth century, two out of three adult rural women were illiterate. The situation has not changed much. As Stromquist (1990) explains, the very high illiteracy rates among rural women in the developing countries is attributable to the very heavy arduous task which women perform to ensure family subsistence – a situation which places poor rural women in inescapable domestic servitude and allows them little or no time to acquire formal education. The fate of such women and even the fate of their daughters are described thus by Stromquist:

“The existence of intensive domestic work, coupled with conflictual family dynamics, renders literacy an unattainable dream for a large number of women and even a dream for some of their children, particularly their daughters who early in life tend to be assigned the same domestic roles their mothers perform”.

This situation is very much applicable to Nigerian women. The Nigerian woman is also characterised by low self-esteem because the society has continued to regard her as unimportant and inferior to her male counterpart. Right from the beginning of life, society prefers the boy child to the girl child. All through her growing-up years, the girl child is socialised to accept her subordinate position even when it is well known that Liberal Feminist Theory is correct in its argument that boys and girls are born with equivalent potentials that could be fully realised, given the proper and conducive environment. However, cultural practices often deny the girl child this type of environment through child-rearing practices that put her in a disadvantaged position. CIRDDOC (2001 :1) makes this point about the role of nurture:

“Gender refers to a system of roles and relationships between women and men that are determined not biologically but by the social, political and economic context. Gender can equally be seen as the process by which individuals who are born into biological categories of male and female become the social categories of men and women through the acquisition of locally defined attributes of masculinity and femininity .. beyond biological differences, all other differences between men and women are socially constructed and have no logical relationships with their biological compositions”.

From this disadvantaged beginning, the Nigerian girl child’s journey into adult life becomes one long battle against harmful traditional and cultural practices that threaten her life and put her down generally. In some parts of Nigeria, harmful traditional practices that dehumanize women still include:

Female genital mutilation to control her sexuality.

2.Disproportionate emphasis on marriage as the only acceptable status for a woman. This undue emphasis, particularly in Igbo society, puts enormous psychological pressure on women. From an early age, a woman begins to worry about ‘finding a husband’, a ‘task’ she is constantly told is a do-or-die affair because ‘men are scarce’. Consequently, not being married becomes a stigma which most women become desperate to escape from as they get older. Indeed, so constraining is society’s emphasis on marriage for the female gender, that an unmarried mother, a divorcee or spinster is a monstrosity (Ojiakor, 1997:219).

Child marriage – a reflection of society’s emphasis on the ‘virtue of virginity for women at marriage – in which little girls are married off to men who most times are old enough to be their fathers. The disparity in age ensures that the wife has little or no power of decision-making in the marriage.
Polygamy which subjects women to harrowing psychological trauma often brings out the worst in their character, in the face of the vicious competition that characterises most polygamous households.
All manner of violence comprising battery and assault of women by husbands and other male partners: sexual violence including rape even by husbands. Wife beating is accepted by Nigerian culture as a legitimate instrument of authority by a husband over his wife. Citing Chukukere (1992), Ojiakor situates this dehumanisation of women within the overall power relationships in marriage:

“Indeed, no matter the level of education or enlightenment, relation between husband and wife is a power-based one, where the woman expects orders and gives in return total obedience. The man’s prerogative to command his wife include (sic) beating her physically and denying her sexual rights”.

6.Dehumanising widowhood practices In the event of a woman outliving her husband. “These include the physical and emotional torture which a woman is subjected to, ranging from the violent shaving of her hair to making her drink the water used to bathe the corpse of her husband [to prove she has no hand in his death]” (CIRDDOC, 2002:8).

In the area of politics, the plight of Nigerian women is equally pathetic. Although women make up at least half the electorate in Nigeria, their presence in policy/decision-making positions is very low. Again, a number of factors militate against their effective participation in democratic politics. These factors, many of which have their roots in women’s subordinate position in society, include: illiteracy, poverty, low self-esteem, ignorance, lack of confidence in other women, violent and non-conducive political environment (money politics, intimidation and violence), cultural stereotypes, religious barriers, high registration fees (which most women cannot afford), harmful traditional practices etc. Above all, the chauvinistic tendencies of the male rulers of the land have over the years denied women any meaningful participation in politics. For instance, all through the years when Nigeria was under military rule and people in positions of political power were appointed rather than elected, not a single woman was appointed as governor of the many states in the country or a member of the highest policy-making body (the Armed Forces Ruling Council). What Mba (1982:304) said several years ago about the political marginalisation of Nigerian women, is still very much applicable:

“Nigerian women must come to recognise that politics determines the allocation of all resources in the society, and that their alienation from politics means that their special interest will continue to be neglected”.

Ami resides in Port Harcourt

Aggo Patience Ami

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

2 weeks ago

April 5, 2024

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

Published

3 weeks ago

March 29, 2024

The Tide

What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

Published

4 weeks ago

March 22, 2024

The Tide

As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.