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Women Are Scared To Access The Law – Oyaghiri

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Barrister (Mrs) Ukel Oyaghiri

Barrister (Mrs) Ukel Oyaghiri

The first step to
wards achieving a positive result particularly in governance is to ensure that round pegs are put in round holes. That was exactly what Governor Nyesom Wike did by appointing Mrs Ukel Oyaghiri, a renowned lawyer, the Commissioner for Women Affairs, Rivers State.
The 52-year old Barrister, a mother and a devout Christian, is surely well experienced as far as the issues on women and children are concerned, having been into private legal practice for over 11 years where she made gender problems her top priority.
To prove the stuff she is made of, and her quest to better the lots of women in the state, barely few weeks into her appointment in December 2015, she organised a programme on “Women Empowerment and Sustainable Development” which attracted participants from all walks of life and provided a platform for people to learn more about gender related issues and how to tackle them.
In this interview with our Deputy Editor (Features), Calista Ezeaku, Barr Mrs Oyaghiri, an active member of International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA), reveals her plans towards ensuring, a better life for Rivers women during her tenure as a commissioner and other issues concerning women.
What are your plans for rivers women?
My plans are in tandem with that of the Rivers State Government and His Excellency, Chief Barr Nyesom Wike, (CON) and has promised a lot for women and I trust that he will carry the women along. He will empower them as much as he can. He has promised never to leave any women behind and that is also my vision as the Commissioner for the Women Affairs, to make sure that no woman is left behind.
What is your take on rape and other violence against women?
I will say straight away that there are laws that have been enacted concerning violence against women and those laws have not been accessed by women because they are always afraid of where to go back to after going to court with somebody from the same community.  They are always scared that the community they will go back to is the same community that they want to go against or that after reporting a man for abusing them, they will still go back to the same man.
There are laws on violence against women already enacted even the ones on rape but women are afraid to access them, because of stigma. But these laws are there to protect them. My advice to women is that they should take up their rights and access these laws.
Harmful widowhood practices and how to curb them?
There are laws against harmful widowhood practices but again women are afraid to access them. Women are the ones who inflict pains on widows like shaving their hair, telling them to cross the corpse of their deceased husbands making them sit on the floor for one week, two weeks. These are harmful widowhood practices that already have laws against them which women refuse to access because of fear of what will happen to them if they do so.
Women in politics?
They should not treat politics as women. They should know that going to the political arena, you have to be a man in your thinking, in your heart. In everything you do, you have to be a man. And so when you get in there don’t think you will be given anything on a platter of gold. Go take it as the men go take it. That’s what you will do. But the handicapped women have most of the time in money. They don’t really have the kind of money many men have.
Women, politics and family affairs?
You have to look at your own terrain and know what works go on there. What goes for one woman does not necessarily go for another. It depends on your terrain.
Are women in politics loose, how true?
That is not true. Women in politics are not way ward women. But in order to keep them away, something has to be told about them to make sure that they don’t come out. Any woman who is called wayward will say, “No I don’t want to be called wayward”, and she will stay back. But when they push further, and behave themselves they will suceed because there is a way you should carry yourself, it’s about carriage. You need to carry yourself well to be seen as not being wayward. That’s my own attitude. Carry yourself well. Don’t carry yourself as if you are just available. You don’t need to be available to be a woman politician.
What to be remembered for by the end of your tenure?
At the end of my tenure as Woman Commissioner, I want to be remembered for making women come out in their numbers, love one another and encourage other women to grow because that is always the problem. When people get up there, they don’t always want to take other people along. When I finish my tenure, I will be remembered for creating a platform where women carefor their the fellow women and carry them along.
That means you intend carrying out a lot of programmes?
Yes. It’s all in line with the vision of the Rivers State government and that vision is to empower women, enlighten them, educate them, carry them along as much as possible. We need to empower them because empowerment brings about confidence and that’s what the Rivers State Government wants to do for women, to empower them and give them the confidence they need.
Final words?
Rivers women should come out and love one another. Love conquers all. We should stop giving excuses and be fulfilled. They say the sky is big enough for everybody that the sky is the limit. But I want to say that for women in Rivers State, the sky is their stepping stone.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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