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Divorce And Remarriage: Any Benefits?

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In Oxford Learners’ Dictio
nary, divorce’ is defined as the legal ending of a marriage.
The ending of a relationship between two things or a separation.  Remarriage is to marry again after being divorced or after one’s husband or wife has died.  The philosophy of the biblical missing rib cannot be over-emphasised as long as marital relationship thrives.  The marriage institution in the garden of Eden brings to bear that God has answers to every human problem.
The origin of marriage is traced back to Eden where God officiated and appended his signature to the indispensable, indissoluble and memorable union.  God saw the need of man, even when not intimated to him and discovered that it was not good that the man (Adam) should be alone.  Frankly, any teaching against marriage is the doctrine of the devil because it seeks to inflict moral flaws of lying in God.  There is a necessity for marriage (Genesis 2:20) as it is a relationship between husband and wife.  Marriage is the life contract made by a man and woman to live as husband and wife.
The Bible says “that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh, wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:3-6).
The Lord carefully explained that marriage is no prerequisite to the kingdom of God.  Maturity and education of the system are paramount before assuming and actualizing the status.
Marriage is life partnership, therefore, marriageable partners must pray for God’s will in their lives.  Physical beauty has little contribution to the stability of the union.
True Christian uphold that “no divorce, no remarriage until death”.
Reverend Dakes stated seven reasons why marriage is indissoluble:- (1) Marriage is a divine institution.
(2) It is an express commandment
(3) It is an example of Adam and Eve (4) Because marriage makes a man and woman one flesh, with complete union of interest, fortunes, desires, joys, sorrows and a life-long partnership (5) Because of the evil consequences on divorce to themselves, the children and others who become entangled in sin by it.
(6) Because of the penalties involved by causing such evils (7) Because there is no excuse under the gospel for “hardness of hearts against each other”.
Divorce and remarriage are devilish.  This is why Jesus Christ warned that “what God has joined together let no man put asunder”.
Any man who puts asunder has ruined his eternal destiny with God.  God’s plan for marriage is oneness and togetherness until death. He made no provision for divorce and remarriage.  Child upbringing is the absolute responsibility of the husband and wife, so with the exit of one partner single parents are incapacitated to vigorously carry out their duties.
Husband and wife must learn how to love, forgive and tolerate each other because there are no greener pastures. A husband must see his wife as the best woman and vice versa.   Both of them must learn the art of love and maintain the sanctity.  Marriage should not be entered into hurriedly but through prayers for compatibility.  Married couples should endeavour to practice forgiveness and temperance in their relationship as Christians.  Spouses should be able to declare their stand to their parents and in-laws.  This is necessary because of their overriding influence in the African home but it must note that third parties are not wanted if the marriage must thrive until death.  Some parents and in-laws are “marriage killers”, but a wise man must stand on his toes to ensure its continuity.
One of the deadly diseases militating against marriage vows today is suspicion.  Happiness and joy can never exist between spouses who suspect one other because what exists prominently in their midst is fear, destructive criticisms, squabble, mistrust and divorce.
As marriage is a life-time contract, partners must love one another to avoid the evils of suspicion, which must not be seen, heard or entertained in a Christian home.  Suspicion impedes the progress of any marriage just as there may be accusations.  So, couples should be careful and fight their common enemy, Satan.  They should not see themselves as enemies and they must maintain their marital vows no matter the cost to encourage new intakes into holy matrimony.
Marriage is ordained by God to be enjoyed and not endured. However, there are few exemptions in divorce and re-marriage outside death, based on cultural and religious values.
Nigerian culture approves payment of bride price either in court or traditional setting and consequently the church upholds this value as a vehicle for sanity.   God in His holiness does not permit separation or divorce of the legally bound spouses, so also, the church.  People should never allow               the question of divorce and remarriage to occupy their heart any day as wives are legally bound with their own husbands as long as they live until death.  Marriage is irrevocable relationship compared to Christ and His Church in all things.
There are factors that have legalized divorce and remarriage in a secular society and they should not be transferred to the church at all.
According to the book of Matthew 19:9, and I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication and shall marry another committed adultery and whosoever married her which is put away doeth commit adultery”.  This is a direct statement of Jesus permitting divorce on the ground of fornication alone, that is, unfaithfulness or illicit sexual relationship with a third party.
What the scriptures mean is that any partner so divorced must remain unmarried.
Divorce is a disgrace and a public admission of utter failure.  It has bad consequences in that the welfare of the children must be adversely affected, ruins love and happiness, brings sorrow and shame as well as loneliness.  Days are gone when remarriage and divorce were based on certain factors as childlessness, permanent ill-health, search of male children, incompatibility, drunkenness, conviction of crime neglect to provide and so on.  One major problem of divorce today could be traced to our insatiable lust and partners voluntarily build bridges to facilitate demonic invasions in the marriage, which end product may be fault-finding, witch-hunting, hatred, separation and divorce.  Married couples are advised to uphold their partners as God’s model companion for them and enjoy a lasting marriage relationship originally intended by God at Eden.

 

Shedie Okpara

Representative of the Inspector General of Police, CP. Wilson Inalegwu (middle), representative of National President, Police Officers Wives Association, Mrs Esther Etim (3rd right) and the representative of Defence and Police Officers Wives Association, Mrs Veronica Iwodi and other participants, at the sensitisation workshop on Sexual and Gender-based Violence in Abuja, yesterday.

Representative of the Inspector General of Police, CP. Wilson Inalegwu (middle), representative of National President, Police Officers Wives Association, Mrs Esther Etim (3rd right) and the representative of Defence and Police Officers Wives Association, Mrs Veronica Iwodi and other participants, at the sensitisation workshop on Sexual and Gender-based Violence in Abuja, yesterday.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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