Women

Who Is An Ideal Mother?

Published

9 years ago

July 3, 2015

A mother carries her child
in her womb for nine months before she is delivered of it. This great sacrifice places the woman before her child as a perfect creature nature had ever witnessed hence, the loveliest and the most infallible. While it is very difficult to be the best of mother the society ever craves for, it is important to note that there are no fast and hard laid down rules on becoming the ideal mother. However , understanding one’s responsibility of instilling the best values in a child’s mind and bring the child up as a confident, happy and independent being remains paramount.
Therefore, an ideal mother is one who inculcates the best of family values in her children, she has tons of patience to put up with the childish tantrums and makes the child feel satisfied and happy without being over indulgent. She is the child’s best friend and is there for the child through thick and thin.
The role of a mother is a primary one for many, but not all women understand and act accordingly. Most mothers see motherhood as a major aspect of their personal and social identities, therefore, the media and culture place high value on being an ideal mother .
As a society, we are very quick to judge and condemn mothers whom we perceive as fulfilling their own needs at the expense of their children’s best interests.
Karl Jung stated that all humans are born with an innate capacity to recognize, seek out, and attach to a mother or mother figure to whom we look up to for safety, care and protection. No wonder children in the uterus (womb) recognise the mother’s voice when born, they use the familiar voice to know who the mother is .
As this continues, the relationship between the mother and child becomes so close especially as the ideal mother takes good care of the child with great joy in her heart.
Every child believes automatically on the mother’s verdict than any other person who tries to advise him on certain situation hence, a child without an ideal mother has lapses. In that case, such a child can never be compared to a child well groomed by an ideal mother it is obvious that there is great difference between a child well trained by the mother than the father. A child trained by the mother had more advantages over the other child trained by the father because mother as a home builder, builds the child in all angles to be well behaved.
The mother’s role is widespread. The early attachment experiences between the ideal mother and child helps to shape the brain, and can affect the adult to self-regulate emotions into the adult years. Where, there is non corrective experiences, the reverse is the case such as insecure attachment and childhood trauma which of fan lead to drug and alcohol addition, academic failure and adult depression, as well as relationship problems.
Since mothers seem to have a profound influence on children’s long-term wellbeing. An ideal mother should therefore have her eyes fixed on the child at all times to understand what is happening around the child, knowing the child’s feelings and providing the child’s needs. Mother intention should be of good and not of evil, advising them and enjoying their company all the times.
An ideal mother is one who understands her role as a mother in the house, she occupies the most important position in the house. I see her as a blessing to everyone that comes around her. She loves everyone equally. She is a good companion in times of loneliness.
The ideal mother shares in a child’s worries, fears, successes and disappointments often times, she gives up parts of her own dreams, needs, wants for the wellbeing of the child she is raising. She does these out of love for the child.
A mother’s love for her child is primal, that is the strongest pull nature will make you feel for someone because survival of your kin is more important than anything else. No matter how ugly a child may look , she rather finds the child very beautiful because the child is part of her. ” Oh how painful it is without an ideal mother!”
These days it is a difficult task to see a worthy woman who can stand in the gap for the family in time of difficulties at home.
Women generally are made to be an embodiment of chastity, generosity cunning and intelligence but most of what we are seeing today is the opposite of what is supposed to be in life generally. A person must chose what he/she wants but in the case of a mother, she becomes a mother without knowing the child that is to be given birth to.
Everyone needs a mother to love, show affection and care as well as treat others with protection. Child likes to be loved especially when he/she is ill and this can only be achieved by the very first acquaintance the child makes in life.
An ideal mother therefore teaches and correct the child, pointing out some mistakes in life that she wouldn’t want the child to fall victim of, such as having bad friends unnecessary chatting on phoneetc, giving the child the right advice is an attribute of an ideal mother.
An ideal mother comprehends the children easily than any one else in training, the mother incorporates for-bearance, longsuffering, perseverance, patience and composure.
An ideal mother is therefore found with the following good qualities which she transfer to her children. She is creative, attractive, confidence in herself. Confident is one of the best traits that a mother should have. This is one of the ideal mother’s ways of projecting what she is doing. Having every assurance and reflection of what she knows that she does not give a shit to what anyone else thinks.
There are pretty good grasp about what makes an ideal mother truly perfect. Considering this statement “no one is perfect” but to me some mothers are perfect when their advantages are more than their disadvantages. As humans, when our good deeds are more than the bad deeds we are considered good .
The first impression however is the attribute of attraction which leads to certain physical characteristics in a woman. Oh no ” beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Meaning beauty is a function of personal understanding.
A woman is naturally or inwardly attractive to a man before becoming a mother. The physical beauty of a woman is the natural attraction while the inward attraction is her reasoning and spoken ability in as much as the embedment of these is seen in a woman, she is attributed as a mother.
She never turns away a suppliant, she even possesses the wit to test her husband upon his return to the house at all times.
She remains faithful to her husband even when the husband has nothing doing to take care of the family. She does not allow her friends to understand those lapses in the house.
It is the duty of an ideal mother to as well mother her husband. Because behind every successful man there is a great successful woman ; also behind every great man is an even greater woman”.
A mother is the person who gives life to a child. A mother is the person who gives her life to raising of a child. A person who willingly accepts the burdens, responsibilities, heart-breaks and joys of raising a child. A mother is the person who takes commitment to hardwork of life, worry and the giving of one’s self for the best tomorrow of the child.
Don’t forget that she spends quality time with her children, teaches them etiquettes and mannerism creates a feeling of self-respect in them, listens to them very minutely, praises and encourages them profusely, teaches them to handle frustration, developed morality, and becomes their support system.
An ideal mother we need is the image maker of her husband, the family, the community and the state at large. If all mothers are in-deed ideal there will be a lot of elimination of criminality, violence, insecurity, addiction to drugs, unwanted pregnancies etc.

Dick Unwonawaji

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

2 weeks ago

April 5, 2024

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

Published

3 weeks ago

March 29, 2024

The Tide

What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

Published

4 weeks ago

March 22, 2024

The Tide

As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.