Connect with us

Women

Reflections On Widowhood In Nigeria

Published

on

They are one of the most vulnerable in the society, they are exposed to indiscriminate abuses in all aspects of their lives, and they bear the scars of their stigmatisation in a society whose sensibility has been lost to a jaded conscience.” Such anonymous oddity captures the plight of widowhood in Nigeria. Nigerian widows like other widows across the world, belong to the downtrodden class, whose voices are mostly represented by Non-Governmental Organisations, civil society and human rights groups, who raise concern over the sordid conditions to which widows are subjected.

Nigerian widows recently joined their counterparts the world over to celebrate the 2013 edition of the International Widows Day.

In Rivers Sate, a cross section of widows in the state gathered at the Ministry of Women Affairs to celebrate their international day of recognition at the instance of the ministry.

The widows filed up in their numbers bearing the brunts and telltale signs of their individual experiences, and typifying the classification of those confined to a perpetual injunction of poverty and deprivations.

Addressing the highly emotional section of participants at the event, the Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs, Joeba West, raised concern over the plight of widowhood. The commissioner who was represented by the Permanent Secretary of the ministry, Mr. Belema Mangibo, said “there were an estimated 24.5 million widows in the world, out of which 115 million live in poverty and suffer social stigmatisation.”

She pointed out that “81 million of widows have also been subjected to physical abuses. The commissioner said the theme of the 2013 edition of the event, “zero tolerance, women and men unite to end cultural discrimination against widows” was apt, and urged the widows to be steadfast and strive to know their rights; especially in terms of inheritance of the husband’s property.

The commissioner also called for concerted effort in raising concern for the betterment of widows and save them from cultural and institutional stigmatisation. The commissioner emphasised the need for legislative expediency in the country to protect the interest of widows.

In her keynote address Barr. Florence Amiesimaka, noted that widows in Nigeria have suffered grave indignity through unconscionable cultural practices and other social inbalances and restructions that debases their sense of existence. She decried the traumatic experiences which widows go through in their daily lives, which are mostly recounted during counselling as a legal practitioner. She lamented that “most widows live in hellish conditions due to lack of access to the legal interventions,” and advocated for policies that would place widows on a social obligation by the society. The legal practitioner called on the widows, to always fight for their right by accessing the interventionist offer of concerned bodies like, the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) among other NGOs who has passion for their welfare. Mrs. Amiesimaka also urged the widows to be discreet in their economic live, by “investing wisely to cater for the interest of the family.”

Also speaking at the event the chairman of the occasion, Patricia Wali, encourage the widows not to lose hope in live, but always life a cautious live that will protest them. From unpleasant situations. Musing over the plight of widows, the founder of Rose of Sharon Foundation, Folorunsho Alakija, during the launching of her book recently, was reported to have said that; “African widows were among one of the most humiliated peasantries in the world.”

Alakija said; the book “The cry of widows and orphans” chronicles the plight of widows and suggest policies that would help to promote the course of widows. The author was reported to have said during the book launch at the Institute of International Affairs in Lagos, that ‘widowhood which is created by natural occurrence of death, need deserving attention “and if those left behind are not catered for, it comes back to the society. She said, Nigerian widows represented the social inequality in the society and advocated for policies that would promote the course of widowhood. Beyond the advocacy for gender equality, the author said “There was need for special intervention through sustainable policies for widows in terms of rights and other issues that would enhance their physical well-being. In comparative terms, there are the obvious certainties that the growing number of widows in the society, are created by the monster of insecurity which leads to the depletion of male population. In the Niger Delta for instance, reports shows that most male population lost their lives at the peak of the militancy resulting in the expanse of filial fold of widowhood. There are indications that more widows will be created from the murderous campaign ravaging the northern part of the country through the blood tasty reign of the Boko Haram sect. Commenting on the plight of widows, the President of the Niger Coalition Against Violence, (NDCAV), Comrade Lekia Christian said the plight of widows in Nigeria should be given legislative consideration to give them a sense of belonging and raise their derogating sense of existence.”

Comrade Christian also advocated for zero tolerance to violence “to save our male population from depletion and reduce the potentiality of widowhood.” He said the (NDCAV) was committed to raising the awareness against violence in the society. Also commenting on the plight of widowhood, the chairperson of the Port Harcourt City Council, Nwonwereoma Akarolo, charged politicians to channel their resources toward the elevation of the living standards of widows and other less -privilege in the society.

The chairperson who spoke with The Tide while presenting some items to the Port Harcourt children home and the compassion centre, said; “politicians rather than waste their resources on needless political bickering and flaunting of excessive wealth should contribute to charity, and impact on the lives of widows, orphans and the physically challenged.”

The years ahead would decide whether the Nigerian society would yield to the clarionc all of passion and institutional concern towards alleviating the scourge of widowhood.

 

Continue Reading

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

on

A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

Continue Reading

Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

Published

on

What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

Continue Reading

Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

Published

on

As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

Continue Reading

Trending