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Ending Violence Against Women

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Violence is an expression of physical or verbal force against one self or others, used to injure. Compelling action against one’s will or pain of being hurt. Violence involves threat to life and actual murder. Violence against women means all acts perpetrated against women which cause or could cause them physical, sexual, psychological and economic harm, including the threat to take such acts; or to undertake the imposition of arbitrary restrictions on or deprivation of fundamental freedoms in private or public life, in peace time and during situations of armed conflicts or of war. According to the dictionary, children are offsprings of parentage, unborn or recently born human being. At Common Law, a child (boy or girl) is one who had not attained the age of 14 years. This presupposes that a girl child is a female that is incapable due to age to make certain decisions for herself but is entitled to care, support (emotional, mental and physical) and love of her parents or guardian, for her wellbeing. The term child or children may include or apply to: adopted, after, born or illegitimate child; step child; child by second or former marriage; issue. This girl child is the same person that grows into the “female or adult human being which conceives and gives birth to the young, also a member of such sex. She is the mother, wife, and sister we all have today. The creator of the girl child or women vested in her certain rights and honor which she is to enjoy without violation, recognised today as human rights in various legal instruments. Any denial, refusal or violation of these rights amounts to an abuse. It is not in doubt that women play important role in the society as mothers, wives and caregivers. Fulfilling those, brings joy happiness and stability to men, women and the society as a whole. Women need the support, love and protection of their husbands, children and members of the society as they strive to function as women. Sad to say however, that for untold number of years now, the girl child, the woman, have continued to suffer several forms of abuse or violence, deprivation and neglect from the same people or society that ought to give her support and love. A brief overview of some of these acts of violence will reveal some sobering statistics. Women and children including boys and girls are mostly at the receiving end of violent acts in times of civil unrest, war and trouble because they are the vulnerable and defenseless group in society. A brief overview of some of these acts of violence will reveal sobering statistics. Trafficking in Women and Children• Women and children (especially girl children) are recruited, transported to unknown destinations, exploited by their victims for economic, sexual ritual and other fraudulent purposes. This is a global epidemic, a modern day slavery of the women and girl child. According to a recent report, between 700,000 and 2 million women are trafficked across international borders annually (UNFPA). These have been identified as a serious threat to human security and development. The report goes on to state that about six Nigerian girls are killed monthly in Italy by ritual killers(probably disposing their vital organs for money or ritual purposes; 30% of Nigerians trafficked through the Sahara desert die in transit. Another disturbing part of this report is that at least 60% of foreign prostitutes in Italy are from African countries, the majority from Nigeria (there are 10,000 to 15,000 prostitutes in Italy). UNICEF estimates that 1.2 million children are trafficked annually. Who are the traffickers we may ask? The report identified the major culprits as con men, yes, our own brothers, fathers, uncles and husband are the primary culprits who pose as helpers of destiny and lure these women and girls into harmful and destructive practice. This is the plight of women on a daily basis. Sad to say that even mothers have also been identified as partakers of this wicked act by using poverty as an excuse to give out their girls children and wards to unknown persons as maids, servants etc who turn out to be predators, by using their children to sell or hawk goods on the streets, or by outright sale of their babies to unknown persons for profit. Domestic Violence . Home violence is so common that many of us see its damage. The bruises and scratches, some resulting to serious injuries and sometimes death that we see often is a result of wife battering or beating even of pregnant ones. These are forms of “family violence that cuts across race, class and background. It is widespread and occurs as often among the upper class as among the lower Husband, brother-in- laws and stepsons are identified as the perpetrators of this indecency. After investigating human abuses committed worldwide in 1997 researchers concluded that “ domestic violence has been one of the principal causes of formal injury in almost every country in the world” Domestic violence, being a widespread yet underreported problem is now called “the silent crises of the” 20th century.” Sexual Abuse in times of trouble, wars or civil unrest: women are the most vulnerable group to be raped and abused sexually. Even children suffer physical, sexual and emotional abuse throughout the world and there seems to be an appalling silence from some representatives when these acts against women are committed within their communities by male members of the community. A survey of adults in several industrialized countries suggests that 10-15% of children are victims of sexual abuse – most of them girls. As a result they die from infectious diseases transmitted through sex eg. HIV/AIDS, or abortions resulting from (unwanted) pregnancies – related causes. A study shows that 1400 die everyday, 99% percent of them developing countries and that in Sub-Sahara Africa, a woman has chances of dying in child birth. In industrialized countries, the risk is in 4,085. Such emergencies as we had in Rwanda during the genocide of 1994, a survey put women at risk of extreme sexual violence and abuse. For example, 2000 women many of whom were survivors of rape, tested positive to HIV infection during the five years following this period. Statistics have it that the rate of infection is higher in girls and women. This threatens to destroy whole communities. In Rivers State of Nigeria, HIV prevalence in Bonny alone as at 5 to 11 % for females as against 4.1 % for males. Poverty/Economic problems – There is discrimination against women at work as a result a large population of women cannot find suitable employments as so depend solely on their husband to provide for basic necessities. Most of these women would suffer as they were at the mercy of their spouses to survive both when there are economic problems and in times of plenty, women suffer. Women are discriminated against at work because of their gender. Though there is no law barring women from particular fields of employment, they are often discriminated against and are adversely affected. There are credible reports that several businesses operate with a “get pregnant, get fired” policy – as we see in some private sectors (bank) where single unmarried ladies are preferred to the married ones. These unmarried ones are then made to endure all forms causes and violations sexually in ‘the hands of their clientele in the employment. As a result the circle of unemployment and poverty continues to make the rounds. Very few women are seen at the helms of affairs and rarely occupy positions of authority. Boma Kingson Enyingwa

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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