Women
Women In Niger Delta Dev
Nothing comes so quick to my mind than the definition of development which means, “A human – created change to improved or unimproved real estate, including buildings or other structures, mining, dregding, filing, grading, paving, execavating and drilling.” The definition has it that development is human activities and actions that turn underdeveloped property into developed property. This unique dictionary did not attribute development to men alone, it simply says: human created change thereby envisaging that women, as part of human, are also capable of creating activities that could lead to development. Women emancipation in almost every sphere of life has greatly and positively affected the Niger Delta region in terms of development. A few and vibrant women organisations like Federated International of Women Lawyers, (FIDA), the National Women Commission (NWC), the Mothers Union, the Women Guide, the National women’s union which in 1953 metamorphosed into the federation of Nigeria Women’s Society (FNWS), the Nigerian Association of Women Journalists, have made some impacts in the region. Niger Delta region comprises of the Rivers State, Akwa Ibom State, Bayelsa State, Abia State, Imo State, Delta State, Edo State and Ondo State. The women from these states can effectively bring a different perspective into political, social, economical and religious development using their experiences as mothers. The current battle against kidnapping in the Niger Delta has made more impact ever since the women took the bull by the horn. In one of the television commentaries, a woman leader opined that these kidnappers and militants are “our sons; they are not ghosts”. Only the true mothers can approach their stubborn sons and arrest this ugly situation. It is rightly said that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. Our women by virtue of their domestic services to men have direct access to men’s hearts; a sensitised workshop against these social vices could mean that all the road constructions would be easily executed, it would also imply that our children, the leaders of tomorrow shall learn more and more in atmosphere of freedom, it also follows that our water ways and ports would harbour more ship. Stray bullets and accidental discharges from the rifles of the militants and police men would no more be the order of the day. Gender equality, if constitutionally envoked and politically accepted could bring the best in the women of Niger Delta towards achieving these developmental goals. I was of the view that the President of Federal Republic of Nigeria, Alhaji Umaru Musa Yar’Adua would appoint a woman as the Minister of Niger Delta:- the new ministry created by the President to ensure speedy development in the Niger Delta region the political sharing formula went as usual, men took the lion share. It is high time the women rise against these arbitrary political appointment. Do women’s rights in the Niger Delta exist only on papers? Little wonders why sojourner Truth, the former African – American slave woman said “…. I have ploughed and planted and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! … I have borne thirteen children and seen them most all sold off to slavery … that little man. In black dar, he says women can’t have as much right as man because Christ wasn’t a woman …” Sojourer Truth’s statement provides a poetic back drop to the voice of Niger Delta region based on fundamental rights and freedom, justice, equity and dignity for all. No struggle for development has ever been waged by men alone. Women of Niger Delta are hereby called upon to swell the ranks. The extent and nature of women’s involvement merit in these struggle have been determined by the needs arising out of particular history. No need to say that women have not been spared in the campaign against HIV/AIDS and polio. Almost all the eight first ladies of the Niger Delta region have invited Alhaja Turai Yar’Adua to end the fight against Polio and HIV/AIDS, the Deputy Governors wives and the wives of the chairmen of the local government areas are not left out. Infact, I doft my cap for the Niger Delta women, The FIDA located in the Niger Delta takes up cases on: Violation of women’s rights, rape, torture and other crimes against women free of charge, just like the market women protest against the importation of sub: standard food and inflation. What more is development? Development and growth are two twin sisters that can turn Niger Delta around. The Niger Delta women do not expect 100 per cent sharing formula in political appointments, etc No! They are only crying out that the rate of marginalization of women in the Niger Delta region should be checked, so as not to go back to the state of anarchy and chaos or to reinvite the Aba women riot of 1927. Niger Delta women have the magical wand to cement the diversity among political parties, ethnic groups, religious bodies, among others. Our President in considering political appointments should bear in mind that men, alone, like the proverbial left hard cannot package democratic parcel properly without the support of the right hand. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.
Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance, it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has, traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.
A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
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