Infertility And Family Stability

Mrs Tamunobarabiye (not her real name) is an indigene  of one of the riverine Local Government Areas of the oil-rich Rivers State of Nigeria, She was happily married to a man whom she described as her heartthrob. And the marriage thrived peacefully for ten years when suddenly there was a twist of events in the marital relationship. The relationship turned sour because of the absence of the fruit of the womb. The marriage was characterised by accusations and counter accusations compounded by pressures from external influences especially the husband’s relatives who blamed their son’s wife for not giving a child to their son. They described the woman as “another man in the house”, The union which started well with the Bible at the centre, was cat and rat, until medical procedures vindicated the woman. Such is the fate of many marriages and the unfortunate condition of many homes in Nigeria with the woman  disproportionately blamed for lack of child bearing in marriage.
It is not saying something new that In most countries of the world, especially the African countries,  infertility has posed great challenge to stability of marriage. Some marriages have failed because of inability of couple to have children. In a typical African tradition, where misguided myth and superstition  hold sway, more often than not,  women are speculatively and presumptuously blamed for the lack of procreation in the marital relationship  while the husband is saintly in disposition and in the biased evaluation of his relatives. Gynaecologists however, have proven that either husband or wife or the both could be responsible for infertile challenges encountered in marriages. It is not exclusively an act of witchcraft as many African homes are prone to, and captivated  by such superstitious belief. Gynaecologists and other medical experts have cited ignorance and the lack of awareness as major contributory factors to the rising incidence of infertility in marriages.
The specialists in women challenges spoke at the 2024 Fertility Conference, held recently in Lagos. The annual event, themed, “Infertility – Need for Knowledge and Early Intervention,” was organised by the Parah Family Foundation(PFF). The Lead Speaker, Preye Fiebai, a Professor and Specialist Obstetrician and Gynaecologist from the University of Port Harcourt, also noted that Nigerian men were unaware that the ability to ejaculate did not equate to being fertile. According to Fiebai, research has shown that 20-45 percent of women in Nigeria are infertile, but often, the cause of infertility in marriages is not the women.
The Specialist Obstetrician said research breakdown shows that 40 percent of infertility cases are due to male factors, 40 percent to female factors, 15 percent to combined male and female factors, and five percent are unexplained.
Fiebai listed causes of infertility in men to include: erectile dysfunction, impotence, decreased libido, psychogenic issues, endocrinopathies, age, and over weight, among others. For women, the medical expert pointed to cervical factors, uterine factors, diseases of the fallopian tubes, and problems with ovulation. Also,  a professor of Surgery from the University of Lagos, Kehinde  Habeeb Tijani, added factors such as age, weight, stress, excessive alcohol consumption, exposure to radiation, and constant exposure of the testicles to high temperatures as contributors to infertility. For his part, Managing Director, Lifeline Fertility Clinic, Kemi Alioje and Tony Akinyemi, while affirming the submission of the other speakers, offered various remedies to overcome infertility. They also advised women over the age of 54 to avoid aspiring for pregnancy due to the associated risks.
Also speaking, the Conference Convener, Dayo Odukoya described the infertility rates and causes as “alarming.” She emphasised the need for ongoing awareness  to encourage couples experiencing infertility to seek solutions early in their marriages rather than delaying. According to her, “The foundation’s primary objective is to share vital information, enlighten and  provide the relevant support system for families undergoing fertility challenges to eradicate ignorance, the misguided myths and social stigma associated with delayed fertility in our society. “The choice of the theme for this year’s conference; infertility- needs for knowledge and early intervention; is to further reiterate the importance of continued awareness, and knowledge about the challenges of infertility and more importantly, action to be taken as early as possible if not, it may cause further delays, especially in late marriage and aged women.
“The journey to parenthood is lonely and must not be treaded alone. There is a need for a support system on this journey and that is where the Parah Family comes in,” she said. The effects of infertility is better imagined than experienced. It is daunting, overwhelming and emotionally devastating. It triggers uneasy calm, quarrels, fighting, accusations, and divorce. The effects defy religious membership as some Christian marriages are not free from the attendant challenges caused by infertility..
Mrs Veronica, a victim of infertility induced crisis said infertility in marriage is a nightmare that a woman should not wish her enemy. According to her, it is stigmatizing, and leads to exclusiveness in a matrimonial home.”You know this thing called infertility is a bad thing that one should not even wish it happens to her enemy. It is a very bad experience. You are not free in your marital home.
Almost every member of your husband’s extended family sees you as the cause of their brother not having a child”. For Mrs. Beauty, infertility is a challenge that some women brought on themselves ignorantly when they were young. According to her, abortion may cause infertility. “You know that no woman knows her fertility status – that is the number of children a woman can give birth to, in a normal condition. Some women might have several pregnancy abortion and may still have a child or children. But some may abort only once, yet may not have any child”. She warned against the temptation of abortion of pregnancy. She said no pregnancy is “unwanted”. Rather than trading blames and accusations, married men and women should undergo medical checks to ascertain their fertility status even before marriage. Those who are medically deficient should access medical facility to solve the problem.

Igbiki Benibo