The surprising thing is that all it takes to enhance your relationship with friends and neighbours is respect for their feelings, concern for their property and a helping hand when it\u2019s needed.<\/p>\n
Modern life is a lot less conducive to friendships and neighbourliness than it used to be. The average American moves every five years. People drive straight into their garages, hire lawn services, hang out in their backyards instead of their front porches. These days, neighbours don\u2019t even know each other\u2019s names.<\/p>\n
Good neighbours and good friends are a lot alike electricity or running water: We don\u2019t know how much we depend on them until we don\u2019t have them. They make our lives more pleasant and give us sense of who we are, both as an individual and as a member of the community. In fact, the authors of a recent book, Refrigerator Rights, claim that refrigerators are gauges of intimate relationships; after all, you wouldn\u2019t snatch a drumstick from the refrigerator of a stranger.<\/p>\n
The surprising thing is that all it takes to enhance your relationship with friends and neighbours is respect for their feelings, concern for their property, and a helping hand when it\u2019s needed. Here\u2019s how to nurture your relationships with two types of vitally important people in your life.<\/p>\n
Strikes up a conversation over the fence or on the sidewalk.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s okay to be the one to break the ice, even if you\u2019ve lived next door for years. Most neighbours enjoy making small talk with the folks on the other side of the fence. So as you see them at work, in their yards or at play in their pool, smile, wave, and say hello. Ask how their kids are, (whether they\u2019re toddlers or in college), whether they could use an extra zucchini from your garden, or what they think of the prices at the local supermarket.<\/p>\n
Extend yourself to the new family down the block.<\/p>\n
These days, the old Welcome Wagon is a thing of the past. But your new neighbours may be feeling lonely and unsure, especially if they\u2019re far from home, and might appreciate a friendly face bearing fresh baked brownies. If they have kids, tell them where the children in the neighbourhood live. Clue them in to the best places to eat and shop. Invite them over for coffee when they get settled, give them your number and point to your house as you say goodbye.<\/p>\n
Be considerate, especially of elderly neighbours.<\/p>\n
Return anything that you borrow from a neighbour, such as tools, in good repair and as soon as you\u2019re finished with them. Replace anything that belongs to your neigbour that you, your children, or your pets break or soil. If your neighbour hasn\u2019t brought in his garbage cans yet, roll them back into his yard. Random acts of consideration will have your neighbours talking and the talk will be good.<\/p>\n
Invite your neighbours to your next bash or throw one in their honour.<\/p>\n
What better way to meet your neighbours than to invite them to an informal barbecue, pool party, or holiday open house.<\/p>\n
Better yet, you might even consider throwing a get-to-gether just for them. Deliver the invitations in person to everyone who lives on your street and chat with each for five minutes before moving on to the next house. This way, you will get an idea of what your neighbours are like so that you can plan for appropriate food and music. Be a better friend.<\/p>\n
On your computer, at home or at work, make \u201ccall friends\u201d a standing appointment. Don\u2019t have a computer? Keep a post it note on the phone, the bathroom mirror, the car dashboard, anywhere you\u2019re likely to see it. Also make sure your friends\u2019 phone numbers are programmed into your cell phone. Then call that friend when you\u2019re stuck in traffic or waiting in line and chat for 10 minutes. Alternatively, schedule a standing once-a-month lunch, same time, same place.<\/p>\n
Make time for friendships. Nothing makes closeness fade away than never talking with or seeing each other. While some bonds or friendships may be strong enough to span long silences, most aren\u2019t. If you cherish a person\u2019s friendship, make time for him or her, whether it\u2019s just the occasional phone call or a weekly get-together.<\/p>\n
Remember: a true friend doesn\u2019t flee when changes occur. Nothing is sadder for new parents than to find that their single friends have abandoned them because of the baby. The sign of a good friend is one who stays true through it all, marriage, parenthood, new jobs, new homes, the losses. Just because situations change doesn\u2019t mean the person has.<\/p>\n
Make sure you aren\u2019t being a burden to a friend.<\/p>\n
Friendships fade away if there isn\u2019t equilibrium between the give and the take. Be sensitive to how much your friend can and can\u2019t offer you, be it time, energy, or help, and don\u2019t step over the line and vice versa. Friendships that drain you will not last. If a friendship is out of balance in this way, you\u2019ll need to talk the situation through.<\/p>\n
Sweat the small stuff. Yes, there are times when it doesn\u2019t pay to sweat the details, but in a friendship, it\u2019s the little things that count. Notice her new hair-cut. Remember to ask about her mother\u2019s surgery or her daughter\u2019s new baby. And if you\u2019re truly a good friend, you\u2019ll know when she needs some cheering up, a simple arrangement of flowers if you can afford it, a simple card or e-mail if you can\u2019t, it really is the thought that counts.<\/p>\n
Be a good listener. It can be the hardest thing in the world to do, to simply listen as he or she pours it all out or is seeking your advice or opinion. To be a better listener, follow this advice:<\/p>\n
Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs that indicate you understand her point of view.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t finish your friend\u2019s sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself to focus on him.<\/p>\n
Minimize distracting, don\u2019t type, open mail, or watch television while you\u2019re on the phone with your friend. Your friend will undoubtedly hear your dis-interest in your responses.<\/p>\n
Be careful with advice.<\/p>\n
Assume your friend wants vent, not necessarily ask for a plan of action.<\/p>\n
Be in her corner if she\u2019s not there to defend herself.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re at a gathering at which someone mentions your friend disparagingly, defend her against gossip or criticism. Say, \u201cMary is my friend, and it makes me feel bad to hear you talk this way.\u201d Sooner or later, news of your loyalty will travel back to her and it will deepen your friendship.<\/p>\n
Culled from Stealth Health.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The surprising thing is that all it takes to enhance your relationship with friends and neighbours is respect for their feelings, concern for their property and a helping hand when it\u2019s needed. Modern life is a lot less conducive to friendships and neighbourliness than it used to be. The average American moves every five years. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sunday-extra"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25199","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25199"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25199\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetidenewsonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}