My Thought On St Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day, February 14, is one of those occasions that evoke mixed reactions from different people. For some, it is a magical day filled with love, romance, and grand gestures. For others, it is an over-commercialised event that puts unnecessary pressure on relationships and individuals. Personally, I have a balanced perspective on Valentine’s Day—I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I also recognise its drawbacks. At its core, Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love, which is a beautiful concept. Love, in its many forms—romantic, platonic, familial—is worth recognizing and cherishing. In a fast-paced world where people are constantly busy, having a designated day to express affection and appreciation for loved ones can be meaningful. It serves as a reminder to nurture relationships and make time for those who matter most. For many couples, it is an opportunity to rekindle romance, spend quality time together, and create cherished memories.
However, Valentine’s day celebration has left a sour taste in many marriages and relationships. On this day some years ago, my friend’s five-year-old marriage crashed due to irreconcilable differences between her and her husband which resulted from Valentine’s Day celebration. The man was alleged to have spent the “Lovers Day” in a hotel with another woman, an accusation he denied. There followed accusations and counter-accusations and a series of problems that culminated in divorce. Just like my friend, many people have ugly stories to tell about Valentine’s Day. Many couples have had fights on Valentine’s Day when one of them did not buy a nice enough gift or worse still forgets to buy a gift. Many people, especially the young ones have had to do all kinds of unspeakable things to raise money for the event. All these negative stories have made many wonder if the day is worth celebrating.
Valentine’s Day started out well. It is a very old and religious celebration centred around Saint Valentine. Stories have it that Emperor Claudius II of the Roman Empire decided that young men should be soldiers, so he outlawed marriage. Claudius handed down this decree believing that soldiers would be distracted and unable to concentrate on fighting if they were married or engaged. Valentine, a Catholic Priest, defied the emperor and secretly performed marriage ceremonies. He was thrown into prison and put to death on February 14. Valentine believed in the power of love. He identified with couples that were genuinely in love and paid the supreme prize for his love for others. Valentine’s Day was therefore set aside for the exchange of gifts with loved ones, friends, relatives and others.
Today the meaning of Valentine’s Day is gone because society rewrote it. With all the radio and television and social media hype the day is enjoying, as well as all the activities up in many cities for the event, it is obvious the real meaning of the day is being misused. Many have argued that various love activities on the night of Valentine’s Day are capable of luring youth into fornication, alcoholism and other social vices, and are big threats to the lives of the younger generation. As a matter of fact, many young people are taking advantage of this day to carry out all sorts of immoral acts. Many get pregnant, relationships are broken, many contact dreadful diseases like HIV/AIDS and the future of many is shattered. Valentine’s Day is certainly not meant to encourage people particularly the youth to engage in inappropriate sex and other forms of immorality. History did not tell us that St Valentine was a fornicator. So, it is absurd associating Valentine’s Day with sexual promiscuity.
Meanwhile, the emphasis on romance can make those who are single feel left out, as if their happiness is dependent on having a partner. In reality, love comes in many forms, and self-love is just as important as romantic relationships. Instead of seeing Valentine’s Day as a day only for couples, it can be an opportunity to celebrate love in a broader sense—spending time with loved ones, practising self-care, or simply appreciating life. I think for Valentine’s Day celebration to make more meaning in our lives as individuals and as a society, we must have to do things right. Let us use this day of love to celebrate all the people in our lives. This is what Valentine’s Day should really be like, seizing the opportunity to tell the people we love that they are special to us and actually making time to do something about it. It should be an opportunity to strengthen family ties and friendships rather than just focusing on romantic relationships.
The point of this day is not to indulge in immoral acts in the name of love or ruin your relationship over material things. The point of Valentine’s Day is, or at least should be, to appreciate one another. We are expected to use this date to pay tribute to love, this universal human value that transcends geographic, religious and cultural challenges. There is no doubt that when such selfless, true love is expressed to one another there will be peace in our families and the country in general, especially when neighbourly love is practised not only on Valentine’s Day but every day. Churches, Non-Governmental Organisations, states and federal ministries in charge of youth affairs are encouraged to emulate the former Archbishop of Lagos, Anthony Cardinal Olubunmi, in Okojie who usually gathered youths on Valentine’s Day and taught them the essence of the day and also engaged them meaningfully. Youths need to be occupied with important, useful activities like charity work, visit to the needy. This will enable them to appreciate and love others and at the same time make them better citizens.
Valentine’s Day should be redefined beyond romantic relationships. Some organisations, schools and individuals use the occasion to engage in charity work, visiting orphanages, hospitals, and less privileged communities to spread love in a more impactful way. This is commendable as it highlights the importance of love in all its forms—romantic, familial, and humanitarian. Everything must be done to ensure that the purity of the society is not abused through Valentine’s Day celebration. We should also not forget that love is not about a single day; it is about a consistent effort and care we show all year round.

Calista Ezeaku