Same Action Different Meanings

Charles Francis Adams, a 19th century politician and diplomat once kept a diary. One day, he dropped some lines that read thus, “went fishing with my son today, a day wasted”.His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary of the activity of that same day which reads, “went fishing with my dad – the most wonderful day of my life.” This is absolutely a case where two actors had different interpretations of the same scene. While Charles Francis Adams thought his fishing expedition with his son was a time in futility, the child considered it an investment of time. Many parents want their children to end well, but are not ready to invest their time in the grooming of these young ones. This is why they describe the time spent with them as wasted, hence the expression, “time is money”.One way to differentiate between waste and investment is to define one’s ultimate purpose in life and then, judge accordingly the activities towards such purpose.
While the former remains the crown of the latter, their glory is made evident in the latter. Therefore, children by their nature, look up to their parents for guidance and leadership. Thus, the time we invest in them is never wasted as they grow up to become useful to themselves and others.The usual sundry words of wisdom succinctly emphasise the importance of children to the fathers and vice versa.In a clime like ours, where the child leaves the home very early for school and never returns until late, parents seem to make a justifiable ground to shift parental responsibilities to teachers and care givers at school. They argue that it is the teachers’ role to groom the child; after all, they are paid for it. This is why parents can wholesomely blame the school for their children’s and wards’ inadequacies. One of the international children’s day was celebrated with the theme, “Better future for the children”. It was a reminder of the theme of the 2017 Children’s Day celebration in Nigeria which bordered on providing an enabling environment for the child to grow and fully develop his potentials in life.
It may be sobering but true, that what determines the success of children in school and in life are the training and values inculcated in them by their parents, which is why parents must as a matter of necessity, influence their children positively. Making out time for this noble task usually involves sacrifices and tough choices, but it is worth it.
If quality time spent together with a child has a way of yeilding tremendous dividends for the youths who will certainly grow up to become tomorrow’s leaders, then, conscious efforts must be made towards impacting positively on their total psyche for effectual positive change on tomorrow’s leadership. Spend time with your child regularly based on structured activities and event.This is so because all-round and qualitative education with emphasis on academic and moral excellence, as well as cultivating sound leadership skills will definitely produce critical-thinking children capable of positively and profoundly impacting the larger society.
In a world where truth and moral values are increasingly snubbed, parents must stand their grounds in helping their children and wards discover their purpose as well as moral direction in life. As the society becomes more complex, efforts must be intensified towards giving the child the needed attention he deserves to guarantee a sound future and hope for the nation. The concern for the moral, educational and total development of the child should be the catalyst that would spur every parent to do the needful.To say that what a child turns out in life depends on the parental packaging of the child, which invariably is a function of the family in which the child was groomed, may not be anything short of the truth.The writer’s view in this direction stems from the finding that a parenting style could predict the wellbeing of a child in the domains of academic performance, social competence, psychological development and problem behaviou.
This vantage position of the family, predisposes it to a miniature citadel of learning as there seems to exist a good deal of informal teaching and the child learns by example. Take away the family, the basic ingredients of living will be omitted and a weak, confused and disoriented individual is created.Come to think of it, the family in question is not the literary roof across the height of a concrete or mud wall where members take shelter against the rains or the sun, neither is it that architectural construction that hides members from external aggression or provides comfort for living. It is a place of intimacy and warmth where one can feel the beauty of relationships. It is a place with which one’s memories are associated – from childhood to last days of life. These are relationships, love, affection, and devotedness that turn any brick-made apartment into a beautiful place called home.
If therefore, the family could apply itself to such great service as this, then the possibility of contributing to the capitalistic goal of the improvement and promotion of the child is feasible. As little as the family poses, it has the capacity to usher in a more sustainable future, achieve the millennium development goals, shape a new development agenda and also combat climate change.Early socialisation, education, affection, stability, guidance and setting of rules to follow, with emphasis on cheerfulness, affection and trust are visible tools with which the family patterns the society to a desired direction.The decline in family recreational activities, irrespective of their contributions to family health development, explains it all. But where will this attitude of non-attachment to the crown of the family take us to? .As a small unit, made up of individuals who are related to one another, sharing reciprocal affections and loyalties and consisting of a household that persists over years, the family is the most primary unit of every society, suffice it to say that the success or failure of every society is determined by the manipulation of the family under which tutelage the leaders of the society were made.
Parenting no doubt is a very challenging obligation, from the task of child rearing, which is energy and pulse sapping, to the satisfaction of endless children’s needs (comfort, attention, the best of everything money can buy) Scott Forbes describes parents as primary care givers. However, because of severe economic hardship, parents are tempted and forced by circumstances of life to relegate their positions of primary care giving to Montessori schools, nannies or house helps leading to less bonding between parents and children. The effect of this gap is hostilities and antagonism .In a heterogeneous society as ours, the bond we share in our families can have a far-reaching and overwhelming influence in unifying a diversified whole called Nigeria.

By: Igbiki Benibo