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How To Deal With Common Problems Of Adolescence (2)

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Social problems Coping  with the Social problems of  dating and relationships is another issue with adolescents.
Attraction to the opposite sex begins during puberty. Adolescence is the time when their sexual or reproductive organs start developing. At such a vulnerable time, it is but natural for teens to feel awkward in social situations. Teenagers want to have an identity of their own. They tend to look up to role models at home or outside.
Adolescents also start thinking about what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and question your take on certain things. They need time to understand and get comfortable with their sexuality. Girls and boys start experiencing ‘weird’ feelings towards the other sex and may not know what to do about it.
This is the time they start dating. Your adolescent may not be comfortable talking to you about it and may go with little information or misinformation they have about it.
Competition problems
Competition is another important aspect of a teenager’s social life. Your child may compete with her peers in anything and everything. Their spirit of competition speaks a lot about their perception of self – whether they have a positive self-esteem or a negative one.
Sexual feelings and thoughts of sex may seem wrong to an adolescent, because of which they may feel guilty.
Their social circle expands during this time as they seem occupied interacting with friends on social media sites, through their phone and outside.
Here is how you can deal with social problems of adolescence. Dating, romance, and sex are delicate issues that your teenager may not be comfortable talking about. Do not make it more awkward for your child. Be confident and rational when discussing the subject.
Your child may seem to spend more time outside than with you. Accept that your adolescents are discovering a whole new world. Just let them know you are there when they need you.
Sharing your dating and social life experiences in school can put them at ease sometimes.
Sexual health – unplanned pregnancy and STIs.
The development of secondary sexual characteristics during adolescence gives rise to new feelings in teenagers and pushes them to experiment with their bodies.
Adolescence is the time when teens experience their first kiss, the intimate dance with their ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ and secret make out sessions.
Without proper guidance, teenagers may become sexually active before they are ready. This could result in unwanted pregnancies. Unwanted pregnancy is the biggest risk that adolescent girls face.
Unprotected sex can also lead to sexually transmitted  diseases like, HIV. To prevent these, parents and guardians should have ‘the talk’ with their children or wards as they may already be learning about sexual health and reproduction at school. Your duty as a parent is to ensure that they understand the importance of safe sex.
The hormonal changes in teenagers may make them act impulsively. Your teen may not like it but it is important that you talk to them about the consequences of unprotected sex and how it can change their life.
Awareness is the only way to prevent early pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in adolescents.
The most worrisome challenge presently is the addiction to cyberspace. The advent of social media has changed the way we interact with each other. It has affected teenage lifestyles the most.
Your teen may seem to spend hours on phone, texting, talking or simply playing. Adolescents addicted to the internet tend to have fewer friends and a less active social life. They lead solitary lives and are happy browsing the internet for hours.
Addiction to cyberspace also cuts short their physical activities, resulting in an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle. Internet addiction adversely impacts academic performance.
Do not assume that your child is addicted to the internet just because he or she spends a lot of time in front of the computer. They could be doing more productive things on the system other than surfing the net.
Do not say ‘no’ to the Internet. That will only make them adamant. Instead, talk about your concerns and help them work on other things that do not require a computer.
You could use parental controls, but that may not be taken well by your teen – remember that they are not kids anymore. At the same time, they may also not have the judgment to make the right choices. So guide them as a parent, but never decide for them.
Enroll them in activities that encourage them to interact with others. Have family activities that will make them want to spend less time at the computer.
Have some cyber rules and boundaries for everybody at home. Limit the use of the mobile phone to a few hours in a day, and avoid bringing the phone to the bedroom as it is likely to affect a person’s sleep.
Aggression and violence
Aggression is especially a concern with adolescent boys. Young boys start to develop muscles, grow tall and have a coarser, manly voice. In addition to that, they are moody and vulnerable and can let others get under their skin.
Adolescent boys can get into fights at school. Worse, they could start bullying others, which is a major problem that adolescent boys and girls have to deal with.
Boys may fall into bad company and be drawn to acts of violence, vandalism, and aggression. They could be easily swayed to own or use a firearm or a weapon too.
Impulse acts of violence can lead to serious consequences, including death. According to the WHO report, interpersonal violence causes around 180 adolescent deaths around the world.
Teenage girls are likely to suffer violence or aggression by a partner.
Children tend to imitate what they see at home. The following remedies for problems of adolescence will help abate aggression, violence and related issues.
Teach your children to be kind and considerate. Nurturing relationships at home can help them become less aggressive.
Prevent access to firearms and alcohol early to prevent violence.
Teach them life skills and the importance of compassion. Lead them by being their model.
Avoid exposing them to violent stories, games or movies at an age when they cannot differentiate between what is right and wrong.
Make them try alternative ways, such as going for a run, doing yoga or using a punch bag, for venting out their anger. This way, they understand that it is alright to be angry but how they deal with it makes all the difference.
Parents play an important role in adolescents’ behaviour development. Educating your teen about possible problems and their solutions can have a positive impact. Understanding their feelings and giving suggestions could reduce conflicts than being judgmental or rude to them.
Setting up clear rules on bad behaviours and drug use may help your teen stay away from it. Establishing good and friendly communication with your child can encourage them to speak up about their issues to you and seek your help.
You may have been a teenager yourself. But once you become a parent to a teen, you seem clueless. Think about it – your adolescent is at an age that you have already been through. Be empathetic and try to understand what your child is going through. That makes dealing with their problems easier.

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Youths’ Role In NationBuilding

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Nation building is a dynamic process involving all segments of the locality, including the often-overlooked and undermined youth population. Youths represent a vast and often untapped resource for immediate and long-term community development efforts. They also provide an invaluable resource for the progress of any society as well as its development. As youths are brought into and connected with national issues and programmes (they have often times been ignored/excluded), they can participate actively and contribute to decision-making at multiple levels.
As youths are engaged in more sustained positive relationships with adults, other youths and national development programmes, apart from realising that they are valued citizens of their nations, such collaborations and participation may lead to skill enhancement, empowerments and confidence-building traits, which will help prepare them for active interest and involvement in nation-building (even in future).
The total population of those between the ages of 15 and 34 was about 30 million in the 1991 census, equivalent to one of every three Nigerians. It was projected that by the year 2000, the total population of this category of young person’s would be about 38 million (National Youth Policy, 2001). In 2006, a nation-wide population and housing census was conducted to update the records. It indicated that the youth profile in the Nigerian population has tremendously improved to 53 million (NPC, 2006).
Apart from the issue of numerical strength, global trend is towards emphasising the primacy of youth in the developmental process, with deliberate efforts by national governments to create conditions that will encourage youth to utilise their energies and resourcefulness for growth and sustainable development of their nations. It was in the light of this development that the Nigerian Youth Organisations in their memorandum to the last National Political Reform Conference maintained that:
“Nigerian youth must have a voice and must be given a greater say to contribute in the way he is governed and allowed to play greater role in leadership and governance so that at all times, he is properly equipped to assume the mantle of leadership which inevitably must come someday. (National Political Reform Conference 2005:15).
However, the prevailing conditions in much of the developing nations, especially Nigeria, have seriously extenuated the potentials of the youth as agents of social change. These challenges range from the economic and social to the cultural. The treacherous triangle of poverty, illiteracy and unemployment in which the bulk of Nigerian youths are currently trapped, has severally challenged their sensibility and has in the long run given rise to what sociologists term as attitudes of fatalism, resignation and acceptance of the situation (Heralambos, 2001). The persistence of these social problems has created an environment where youth are cheaply available for manipulation by self-seeking politicians. Poverty, illiteracy and unemployment are interrelated conditions that generate human needs and therefore constitute a state of deprivation.
As the youth continue to remain in this state, there is pent-up emotions and untapped energies. They provide cheap labour to execute the design of political gladiators and ethnic champions. In an apparent indictment of the Nigerian politicians, Togbolo (2006) observed, “they take advantage of the poverty-stricken nature of the country to exploit the people; politicians are fond of using the youth restive nature as a political strategy to have their way.”
According to Gribble (2010), “more than half of the world’s population under the age of 25 (between ages 15 and 24) are in greatest need of empowerment, those who are younger will quickly come of age and share these same needs. This segment of the population (15 to 24) is expected to continue growing faster than other segments for at least 20 more years” (Gribble, 2010). With the swelling wave of young people, access, empowerment and their engagement in nation-building becomes critical if they are to contribute effectively.
Uhunmwuangbo and Oghator (2013) suggested two (2) major motivations which have brought the converge of youth (young persons) into the policy agenda of national governments, thus fascinate and prioritised youth inclusion to the building process of any nation. According to them, the first is the global process of democratisation, beginning in Southern Europe, extending to Latin America, Asia and Africa, and more recently to Eastern Europe (Almond, 2004).
The second is the phenomenon of globalisation that has seriously challenged the capacity of nation-state to govern and which, according to Heady, et al, embodied a transformation of the spatial organisation of social relations and transaction (Heady, 1979). The combined effects of these global trends have confronted and dismantled authoritarian regimes in a decisive way, and at the same time rekindled the spirit of civil society in the political process (Suleiman, 2006).
The youth as an important component of the civil society is in the process of self rediscovery in an era characterised by the intense movement of the social forces of democratisation and globalisation. As they interact with other actors in the social system, the youth express their interest and needs, they relate with relevant political institutions and political processes to articulate their views and promote shared interest (Suleiman, 2006).
The role of education positioning and providing youth with access to effective engagement in national development which is a way of incorporating them in the decision-making process of the nation’s governance, nation-building activities where they are welcomed, with accurate and comprehensive information which will empower them to make healthy decisions.
There is no how the untapped capacities in youth can be tapped and utilised with an all-inclusive, participatory and synergy approach; thus, a suggestive dimension for involving the youth in nation-building. Youth participation, according to Cornwall (2010), refers to the involvement of youth in responsible, challenging action that meets genuine needs, with opportunities for planning and/or decision-making affecting others in an activity whose impact or consequence is extended to others. i.e outside or beyond the youth participants themselves. Rajani (1999) notes that, “it is only through participation that youth develop skills, build competencies, form aspirations, gain confidence and attain valuable resources.” This shows that youth participation therefore is a product and strategy of sustainable human development.
Youth comprise nearly 30 per cent of the world’s population. These large members of young people are an opportunity; an investment to their country. Youth participation in nation-building programmes/activities therefore is to: Strengthen young people’s abilities to meet their own subsistence needs; prevent and reduce vulnerabilities to economic, political and socially unstable environemnts; promote owership and sustainability of change interventions; help gain entry into target communites and build up trust and social cpaital.
Nigeria with over 140 million people and over fifty percent of youths cannot afford to lock out the youths if they must compete politically, technologically and scientifically in order to align itself with the sustainable development in Africa in particular and the developed world in general. Nigeria can build a strong and viable nation if and only if there is an existence of common values, beliefs, attitudes, effective leadership and a will to live together as a nation. Such transformations must allow every group (especially the youth population) to participate in the economic, political and the social spheres of the nation.
The following recommendations are discernibly based on the foregoing: Youth should be given the opportunity to develop their capacities thrugh balanced education and exposure. Skills acquisition and entrepreneurship will help reduce idleness among youths and keep them from being involved in crime and other activities that are counterproductive in nation-building. Youths should be made relevant and involved in leadership at different levels of government. We must moderate our demands on our youths and as well condition their behavior in line with our cultural values.
The youth of today must not fail this nation.
Concluded

Immanmuel Rohi
Rohi is a member of the Nigerian Youth Volunteers, Rivers State.

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‘How You Go Forward Is Your Responsibility’ 

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What happened to you was not fair. You were merely a collateral damage on someone else’s war path, an innocent bystander, who got wrecked out of proximity.
We are all hurt by life, some of us from egregious wrongdoings, others by unprocessed pain and sidelined emotions. No matter the source, we are all handed a play of cards, and sometimes, they are not a winning hand.
Yet what we cannot forget is that even when we are not at fault, healing in the aftermath will always fall on us and instead of being burdened by this, we can actually learn to see it as a rare gift.
Healing is our responsibility because, if it is not an unfair circumstance it becomes an unlived life.
Healing is our responsibility because unprocessed pain gets transferred to everyone around us, and we are not going to allow what someone else did to us to become what we do to those we love.
Healing is our responsibility because we have this one life, this single shot to do something important.
Healing is our responsibility because if we want our lives to be different, sitting and waiting for someone else to make them so, will not actually change them. It will only make us dependent and bitter.
Healing is our responsibility because we have the power to heal ourselves, even if we have previously been led to believe we do not.
Healing is our responsibility because we are uncomfortable, and discomfort almost always signals a place in life in which we are slated to rise up and transform.
Healing is our responsibility because every great person you deeply admire began with every odd against them, and learned their inner power which had no match for the worst of what life could offer.
Healing is our responsibility because “healing” is actually not returning to how and who we were before, it is becoming someone we have never been, someone stronger, someone wiser, someone kinder.
When we heal, we step into the people we have always wanted to be. We also are not only able to metabolise the pain, we are able to effect real change in our lives, in our families, and in our communities. We are able to pursue our dreams more freely. We are able to handle whatever life throws at us, because we are self-efficient and assured. We are more willing to dare, risk, and dream of broader horizons, ones we never thought we would reach.
The thing is that when someone else does something wrong and it affects us, we often sit around waiting for them to take the pain away, as though they could come along and undo what has been done.
We fail to realise that in that hurt, we had the most important lessons of our lives and the fertile breeding ground upon which we can start to build everything we really want.
We are not meant to get through life unscathed.
We are not meant to get to the finish line unscarred, clean and bored.
Life hurts us all in different ways, but it is how we respond and who we become that determine whether a trauma becomes a tragedy, or the beginning of the story of how the victim became the hero.
Culled from January Nelson.

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COVID-19 In Babies And Children: Symptoms, Prevention

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With the re-occurring traits of COVID – 19 in Nigeria, it is important that parents and gurdians take extra care of their children.  Reports from Nigerian Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) has it that,as from 16th to18th July, 2022, 478 new cases were confirmed and two deaths recorded.
A paediatrician and infectious disease expert, Dr Aaron Milstone at the Johns Hopkins Children Centre, has advised that it is important for parents and children to take every possible safety precautions and understand all risks and symptoms related to COVID – 19.
Dr Milstone talked about COVID – 19 symptoms in children, how to keep babies and children safe,the risk infected children may lose to others and an overview of Multi system Inflammatory Syndrome in Children  (MIS – C), an unknown but serious condition that may be related to the exposure of the virus.
He added that coronavirus variants, including the very contagious omicron variant has continued to spread, particularly in areas with low rates of community COVID – 19 vaccination among populations such as children under 5, who cannot yet be vaccinated.
According to him, “For children too young to be vaccinated, and adults who have not received Coronavirus vaccines,it is important to follow proven COVID -19 precautions such as mask wearing when in public,indoor places to reduce the chance of becoming infected with the coronavirus. “Indoor activities are riskier than outdoor activities, but risk can be reduced by masking, distancing, hand washing and improved ventilation. Parents and caregivers should understand that children infected with the coronavirus can develop complications requiring hospitalisation and can transmit the virus to others,” Milstone said.
He noted that, in rare cases,children infected with the coronavirus  can develop a serious lung infection and become sick with COVID – 19 and deaths have occurred. That is why it is important to take precautions and prevent infection in children as well as adults.
“According to U. S. Centres for Disease Control and Prevention  (CDC), it appears that women infected with coronavirus can in rare cases pass the disease to their babies. Adding that, infants can also become infected shortly after being born,and most newsborns who test positive for the coronavirus have mild symptoms or none at all and recover, but serious cases have occured.
Pregnant women should take extra precautions,including talking to their doctors about getting a COVID – 19 vaccine to avoid the coronavirus.
Milstone also noted that,there is no evidence that the virus causing COVID – 19 is present in breastmilk but because there is a possibility of spreading COVID – 19 during breastfeeding through respiratory droplets,it is very important for pregnant women to follow safety guidelines.
“Generally, COVID – 19 symptoms in children and babies are milder than those in adults and some infected children may not have any signs of being sick at all; the symptoms include cough,shortness of breath or difficulty in breathing, muscle or body aches,sore throat, loss of smell or taste, diarrhea, headache, new fatigue, nausea or vomiting and congestion or running nose . Fever and cough are common COVID – 19 symptoms in both adults and children, shortness of breath is more likely to be seen in adults . However, serious illness in children with COVID -19 is possible and parents should stay alert if their child is diagnosed with or shows signs of the disease”, Milstone said.

By: Ibinabo Ogolo

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