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How Women Can Resist Rape Cases

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The Oxford Learners Dictionary defines rape as a forceful way of having intercourse with a person without her consent.
Sometimes it occurs under durex, as the woman is threatened with dangerous objects.
Despite efforts by relevant stakeholders to tackle the menace of rape in the society, rape cases have continued to rise.
On a daily basis, it is either a minor is raped or you hear of a full- fledged married or unmarried woman being raped. It is not just minor being molested, infants are also raped.
Sometimes we hear of female students narrating how they encounter gang of rapists at different locations or in their schools.  Women in rural localities are not spared.
Some of the ladies resist and prefer to die with them instead of being raped. And a lot go unannounced.
Not too long, a woman in one of the local areas, had also alleged how a man who claimed to be her husband’s friend, tricked her to give him a matchete to cut plantain. After cutting the plantain, he treathened her with the knife and allegedly raped her.
We have had several cases that are unreported because of stigmatisation and mockery in the society.  How long will this continue to thrive?
Recently, a case went viral, where a teenage girl was allegedly gang-raped by a group of boys.
A lot of factors could have been responsible for these. Some people say indecent dressing can be responsible. When a woman dresses half naked which can tempt the rapist. There are those who see women in that circumstance but throw away their eyes.
What does a  three to four-year-old girl possess that will attract a rapist if it is not an evil or criminal intention to determine if that kind of action should take place.
The dangers associated with rape are enormous on the side of the victim.
A legal practitioner, John Peters, said, it is a criminal action against humanity.
He said it is criminal action in the sense that it was done without the consent of the victim who the action was taken upon.
According to him, when she realises that it was carried out without her consent, she feels demoralised, abandoned, humiliated probably because nobody came to her rescue.
A pharmacist, Angel Uche, said social stigma in the neighbourhood is another problem associated with rape and stressed that the victim finds it difficult to mingle with others thereby dissociates herself from peers.
In her words: “Depression that is associated with rape lingers on to the extent that the victim feels that every social contact with the opposite sex will lead to rape.  Women don’t have peace any longer. Anywhere you find yourself, you are so apprehensive because one dirty human being may appear from nowhere to rape you”.
According to a medical expert, Benjamin Udoh, the health status of the rapist is unknown so the tendency of contacting Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) is possible, as well as HIV/AIDS.
“Unwanted pregnancy is also a danger associated with rape case”, he said.
He said: “If it is a virgin, the trauma resulting from that forceful penetration is huge. It can also cause injury to genital area leading to ailments”.
A teacher, Mrs Ndidi Emeh, said  women should begin to do something because it is an issue that is becoming scary and  said that much has not been done over the decades.
She said the society should not be raising a generation of people whose life ambition is to be hurting others in their environment.
“It is heart-breaking to hear that three nine-year-old children were raped”, she emphasised.
In her words: “We’ve been silent enough and we have to break this culture of silence. We are living in denial and we have to focus on the pressures and ills of the time we find ourselves.
“I think we must begin to take our destinies in our hands bearing in mind that we are human beings in a complex environment”.
A nurse, Nkechi, said some rapists may be psychologically sick and need help.  A man may love his wife, he said and still abuses her even to death.
She said: “This is a form of imbalance and emotionally unstable person who is unable to manage himself. You see a situation where a man finishes beating his wife and starts begging for forgiveness. He needs a form of therapy”.
She appealed to the government that provides the law which covers every society to protect the weak from the strong and said that the law should provide a balance for women.
A school teacher, Mercy Nnamdi, condemned a situation when cases of rape against children and women are reported at the appropriate quarters and money is being demanded for proper documentation.
She said sometimes the perpetrator goes away with it and as a result of frustration, an affected mother or victim may decide to withdraw due largely to the fact that she does not have anything to offer before her case can be handled.
She called on law enforcement agents to be sensitised and more educated about that as it concerns women. “When rape cases are reported, law enforcement agents should as a matter of fact follow up to logical conclusion. It can be anybody’s turn”, she said.
According to her, while the efforts  of some of the officers are commended, much is still being expected.
A legal practitioner, Nkem Diri, said a quicker justice system that is up and doing in terms of rape cases is highly needed.
She stressed that it demands the urgency that the matter requires, ensuring that the case does not drag for too long.
She said when rape cases drag for too long it will be stressful on both the victim and her family. “They may lose interest and decide to let it go even after paying money to a lawyer”, she noted.
People should be held accountable for their actions. When that is done, women will feel bold to speak up when they and their wards are abused.
One of the things affecting women for not speaking out sometimes when they find themselves in abusive situations is the issue of mockery.
Women should report rape cases to the appropriate quarters as early as possible, seek justice and surely will be re-integrated into the society.
A medical practitioner, Mike Ibe, said a victim should be able to speak out as soon as possible so that medical examination can be carried out when she encounters a rapist because the rapist might be HIV/AID positive which may secretly want to share or transmit to other people.
Girls should identify and ignore such people who will always make nasty comments while moving on the streets. Avoiding unnecessary touch whether in private and public places will go a long way in curbing the ugly situation. Lonely places should be avoided by ladies.
Certain laws may have been laid down for offenders, but authorities saddled with the responsibility should ensure that those who cannot survive without raping children and women must be punished according to the laws stipulated by government at all levels.
By the time stiffer measures are taken to tackle the menace, women will heave a sigh of relief.
Women groups should rise up in sensitisation on the dangers and consequences of rape.  Creating awareness in schools for pupils and students, market women, officers on how women can defeat the monster called rape has become necessary.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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