Dealing With Difficult Emotions …Positive vs. Negative Emotions

Emotions (feelings) are a normal and important part of our lives.
Some emotions are positive. Think of happiness, joy, interest, curiosity, excitement, gratitude, love, and contentment. These positive emotions feel good. Negative emotions — like sadness, anger, loneliness, jealousy, self-criticism, fear, or rejection — can be difficult, even painful at times.
That’s especially true when we feel a negative emotion too often, too strongly, or we dwell on it too long.
Here are three steps that can help you handle negative emotions.
Step 1: Identify the Emotion
Learning to notice and identify your feelings takes practice. In addition to focusing on your feelings, check in with your body, too. You may feel body sensations with certain emotions — perhaps your face gets hot, for example, or your muscles tense.
Be aware of how you feel. When you have a negative emotion, such as anger, try to name what you’re feeling.
Know why you feel the way you do. Figure out what happened that got you feeling the way you do.
Don’t blame. Being able to recognize and explain your emotions isn’t the same as blaming someone or something for the way you feel.
Step 2: Take Action
Once you’ve processed what you’re feeling, you can decide if you need to express your emotion. Sometimes it’s enough to just realize how you feel, but other times you’ll want to do something to feel better.
Think about the best way to express your emotion. Is this a time when you need to gently confront someone else? Talk over what you’re feeling with a friend? Or work off the feeling by going for a run?
Step 3: Get Help With Difficult Emotions
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can’t shake a tough emotion. If you find yourself stuck in feelings of sadness or worry for more than a couple of weeks, or if you feel so upset that you think you might hurt yourself or other people, you may need extra help.
Talk to a counselor, parent, trusted adult, or therapist. Counselors and therapists are trained to teach people how to break out of negative emotions. They can provide lots of tips and ideas that will help you feel better.
Reviewed by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD