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Agony Of Female Circumcision

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The outright removal of the outer flesh from a female’s vagina (clitoris), popularly known as female circumcision or female genital mutilation is no longer new in many communities in Nigeria. A total violation of the female’s body, this act of genital mutilation has been condemned in various spheres, yet, its continuous patronage has become a cause for concern.  It does not only strip its victims of certain feminine feelings, it constitutes a serious health risk to them especially at childbirth and as harbinger of diseases.
For more information about this health challenging phenomenon, The Tide’s Women Desk undertook a study on its practice and possible effect on victims.
Why is Female Genital Mutilation performed?
Female genital mutilation is assumed to be performed to control so called women sexuality. It is thought to ensure virginity till marriage and fidelity afterwards. It is also seen as a part of a girl’s initiation into womanhood. In some communities around the world, the female outer flesh in the vagina (clitoris) is considered dirty and ugly. That is why it is being removed. According perpetrators, it promotes hygiene in woman’s body.
Where does this practice come from?
The origin of this practice is truly unclear to anyone, but it is said that some Egyptian women carried out Female Genital Mutilation on their daughters and it went well for them. Historians such as Herodotus claimed that in the fifth century BC, the Phoenicians, the Hittites and the Ethiopians practiced circumcision. Circumcision rites were also practiced in the tropical part of Africa. It is also practiced in this our country, Nigeria till this present day.
At what age is the Female Genital Mutilation carried out?
It varies from place to place. Female Genital Mutilation is mostly carried out during infancy, just few days after birth, while in some places it happens during childhood, within the age of 8 or sometimes at the teen age.
Who performs Female Genital Mutilation?
It is the elderly women in the community that carry out the act or by a medical practitioner in the village. There are over 200 million girls alive today that are believed to have been subjected to FGM. It is a reflection of global population growth. Girls that have undergone FGM are everywhere in the world, mostly in Africa.
What instrument are used to perform Female Genital Mutilation
Female Genital Mutilation is carried out with special knives, scissors, scalpels, pieces of glass or razor blades. Anesthetic and antiseptic are generally not used unless the procedure is carried out by medical practitioners. In communities where circumcision is practiced, the girls leg are often bound together to immobilize them for 10-14 days, allowing the formation of scar tissue. No Religion supports Female Genital Mutilation because it is not good.
What is the psychological effect of the Female Genital Mutilation?
The initial procedure can result in severe shock, pain, bleeding, tetanus or sepsis, bacterial infections, inability to urinate, open sores in genital region and injury to nearby genital tissue and the girls are at risk of abnormal menstrual flow, recurrent bladder and urinary tract infections, cysts, pain during sex, lack of sexual pleasure and infertility. Victims also suffer psychological problems following the very often traumatic procedure.
How about the health effects
Female Genital Mutilation has a very serious health implication. The immediate complications are severe pain, shock, hemorrhage, tetanus or infection, urine retention, ulceration of genital region and injury to adjacent tissue. Urinary infection, fever and septicemia hemorrhage and infection can be severe enough to cause death.
Long-term consequences; complications during childbirth, anemia, the formation, of cysts and  abscesses, keliod scar formation, damage to the urethra resulting in urinary influence, dsypareunia, (painful sexual intercourse), sexual dysfunction, hypersensitive of the genital area and increased risk of HIV transmission, as well as psychological effects.
What do the girls who have experienced Female Genital Mutilation have to say about it?
Women around the world are speaking out about their experiences and advocating for change. None of them that has passed through it recommends it to any other girl. They all kick against this evil act.
Nkechi shared her story. She said she and her two sisters and their mother were preparing to visit her family back home. She said, she thought they were going for holiday, only to discover later that they were going to be circumcised. Her mother told them, that a day before that day the girl that was circumcised died in the process. She and her sisters were scared and didn’t want to suffer the same fate but their parents told them that is their obligation so they went. She and her sisters thought they were going to die because of the pain. You have one woman holding your mouth so you won’t scream, two women holding your legs. After they were circumcised, they had to learn to walk again. They had to try to go to the toilet, if you couldn’t pass water in the next 10 days that means something went wrong. This act is been carried out in so many places here in Nigeria. Places like Imo,  Rivers, Plateau states and several other places still practice female genital mutilation.
What does the law have to say about the FGM
The Law says that anyone or group of people caught carrying out this act, should be arrested with immediate effect, it is barbaric, it is punishable by law. Whoever that is caught will face 14 years imprisonment.
Azodoh writes from Port Harcourt.

Chinasa Azodoh

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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