The Necessity Of Apology

The word “apology” according to the oxford dictio
nary simply means to say “am sorry”, when one un-intentionally hurts, causes injury or damage to the next fellow. A supposed remedy for all problems, apology engenders cordial relationship in our families, Offices, Churches etc. It nutures and promotes peace and love between the injured and the offender.
The important origin of the world apology could be traced back to the Bible, when biblical Esther apologised for the deeds of her husband and her house hold was saved from doleful moments. As mortals living in an imperfect world, we could make mistakes in course of our dealing or relating with the secular society, but the most important issue is, do we actually acknowledge when we are wrong? Can we quickly apologise to save precarious situations and promote forgiveness, love. Some countries of the world such as America, Canada, Britain etc had since toed this noble part of rending apology in their homes, office and public places. Little wonder,  when a  child is wrongly bully or hurt by it’s own parents or the school, the parents or the teacher quickly renders apology to the child or kid without which the law can easily catch-up with those offending parents or teacher, no matter how highly place in the society.
It is pertinent to note that the sceriario is  totally different in this part of the world, particularly in the city of Port Harcourt where one could hardly hear people apologise for their misconduct or un-intentional cause to damage or inflict injury to the next fellow. Rather the usual language that had replaced “am sorry” from the offender is: “who are you? Do you know me? The oppulent in the society and top government officials, political office holders as well as uniform personnel usually cow-down the injured with derogatory remarks instead of apologising. The question most observers of this scenario ask is: Will all these words used by the offenders heal the injury suffered? Obviously no.
Recently, along Port Harcourt Aba Express Road a top government official in a convoy, bashed a commercial taxi driver behind at the ever busy Rumuola junction without show of remorse. Instead, the taxi driver was dragged-out of his taxi and was brutally flogged by the security personnel attached to the convoy. What an injustice? Sadly,  the poor suffers in hands of opulent.
Where is the rule of law, justice and equity, when those at the top can easily commit an offence and go unpunished? There is so much impunity displayed by the so called rich men at the expense of the poor. It is totally impossible for the rich in the society to apologise to the poor as it is in other climes.
Similarly, last week at Ada-George road by Whimpy junction, a Parado jeep hit a Toyota corolla and the two gentlemen came out of their cars quarrelling, abusing each other so seriously, causing heavy traffic jam that lasted for several hours. Not even the presence of the security men and road traffic personnel drafted to control traffic at that junction could save the ugly situation as they deprived other road users access to their various destination. Yet, this is an accident that a mere apology would have taken care of and even promoted healthy relationship between the injured and the offender. This eventually would have healed the wounds suffered by the injured.
Again, the popular University of Port Harcourt Junction few days ago witnessed heavy traffic due to a minor accident that consumed nearly the whole day. Both the offender and the injured abandoned their cars in the middle of the road and waited for the arrival of the traffic policemen who came measuring the distances of both cars, before towing the both vehicles to their station.
To some Nigerians, an apology means taking their right away from them. And while others see it as totally dehumanising and contemptuous, some believe that they cannot stoop low to apologise  even when they are wrong. Why the lack of empathy for our fellow Nigerian?
At this juncture, I beg to defer with the school of thought that those who screw-up courage be it in public or official domain, to render apology are cowards, spiritless, effeminate or timid. If everyone had been courageous enough to pardon, love and show compassion, and if everyone could accept his or her mistake both in private and public life, the society will definitely become a better place for all.
This again brings to the fore the exemplary conduct of the former Governor of Akwa-Ibom State, Godswill Akpabio who exhibited extra-ordinary love, humility and humaneness for accepting that he erred when he presented a bill seeking for more remuneration after leaving office. That bill was vehemently opposed by the people of the state and he quickly withdrew the bill and apologised to the people of Akwa-Ibom State. Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State equally showed humility when he apologised to a woman whose goods where thrown away by his aides in the market. He not only apologised to her but equally embraced and welcomed her to Government House, Benin city.
Finally, for apology to be healthy, the injured must show openness of heart to accept and embrace the offender whole-heartedly, while he or she who has been offended should demonstrate remorsefulness, put down ego and say “am sorry”.
Nuwani resides in Port Harcourt.

Nuwani Simebia