Why Marriages No Longer Last

Couple sharing love

One of the institutions
of God that man has embraced with very sense of eagerness and satisfaction has been marriage. It is something that every man and woman irrespective of religion or race craves for, something that spreads’ joy across the families of both the bride  and groom,  something that gives some sense of life’s  fulfillment in every human being across the globe.
It is esteemed high to the extent  that   the absence of  it in the life of an average man or woman poses some level of irresponsibility, depression and even  tension.
It has become a normal  that in recent times, every weekend is packed with marriage ceremonies in village squares, churches and  or  event places with happiness on the faces of attendants.
It is a wonder however, that such an event of life with all its show  of beauty, creativity, joy and blessings, could  still be attended to with levity so much that, the more wedding ceremonies, the more cases of divorce.
Divorce, as it were, has become part of life among  couples. It is seen as the best option where any form of supposed irregularity is found in marriage. The accompaniment of shame and stigma has been trivialised to the extent that “it does not matter, life goes on”.
Supprisingly, divorce was not as rampant even in the late 1980’s as it is now. Challenged with this worry, The Tide’s Women’s Desk  was poised to unravel the mask behind the scene.
A close investigation of the issue reveals that there are  cases of marriage that lasted for just a month. Very shocking was the news of a marriage that ended just after the couple’s honey-moon, where they parted ways on their way back from the ‘moon’.
Some however,  took months and even years before divorce sets in.
A manager of one of the renowned beauty homes in Port Harcourt who pleaded anonymity, told this desk that there are a lot of factors that contribute to the high rate of divorce in recent times.
“The world today cannot  be compared to that of yesterday. There are  so many changes and demands such that you need a partner that will share  your ideas and help you to accomplish your dreams as a woman. Unfortunately, some of these men are just not  there to help you grow. Instead, they are out to drain every aspect of your life and for any wise woman, there is no need sharing your  life with such a man but to get out and get going,” she said.
She explained that the  incompatibility of the man and woman is enough reason for the marriage not to continue because it could lead to an untimely death of one of the partners.
According to her, “some men are just irresponsible that no significant interest is shown in the progress of the union. They  are just after the sharing of bed” she revealed that such was the situation she endured  for three  years after which she decided to call it a quit.
Mrs Celestina Hekerem, a banker with Eco Bank was of the view  that the present hard economy was a contributory factor to the issue of divorce.
“Today’s economy is very sophisticated and highly demanding. It requires all hands (husband and wife) to be on deck for  the family to push  on. Apart from those that I would described as being highly favoured  by God,  most couples are either unemployed or one of them making do with one meager salary paid job or the other.
It takes an enduring partner to stay through the marriage  otherwise, it is divorce.” Celestina also  said that  to avoid divorce most young men and young women  would not want to marry an unemployed person ‘because  until you have the experience, you will not understand, she added.
According to Mr. Tonye Fiberesima, “how can  you continue with the marriage that you entered  into  with  the mind that your bride is a virgin only to discover that she is not.”
Fiberesima maintained that marriage was supposed to be built on sincerity and  devoid of every form of pretence. Unfortunately, he noted, most marriage are founded on untruthfulness and pretence  and  because  they must be exposed  someday, the marriage can’t  continue.
Doctors Blessing Amadi and  Godstime Ike of the University of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital were of the view that Infertility/Sterility among couples are major causes of divorce.
“Ofcourse, one of the basic  reasons of marriage  is for procreation and where  this  is absent after many years  of marriage, it is somehow  bound to crash except  for very few enduring couples.”
They also revealed that the libido or romantic aspect of a partner can contribute to the rise and fall of a marriage.
Pastor Anyalebechi Nnunukwe  of the Seventh Day Adventist Church, Port Harcourt, attributed the cause of divorce to adultery, intolerance and lack of patience among couples.
He said “a lot of couples today for reasons known to them have lost sight of the original nature of marriage that a man would leave  his father and mother and cling to his wife and both of them shall become  one flesh. They  have relegated this injunction by God and  turned to sharing their flesh with two or even multiple fleshes.
Besides, they are different entities coming together to live their lives and share a common goal. This requires a high level of tolerance and patience. Unfortunately, these virtues seem  to be lacking in most couples resulting to divorce.
On his part, Chief Nsan Enerene said “marriage is to foster posterity. Your marriage should  provide you with a son that  will continue your lineage. Your wife could give you only female  children and you might be  lenient  enough to pick another wife to give you  the male sex child but your wife may not agree with you and so, the best thing is to get divorced.”
A 92- year old retiree of the federal civil  service, Pa Akande Ishaya, lamented that today’s marriages are made up of  youngsters who are immature and unknowledgeable of the nitty-gritty of marriage, stating that it is a major cause of divorce.
It seems that the quest for marriage among young men and women has neglected the idea of courtship. Most of these issues would have been resolved and the marriage formed with every sense  of understanding, tolerance and hopefulness.
Moreso, life itself is a check and balance, the absence of which would result to unfathomable chaos. Thus, what can not be changed, I think,  should be rationally endured  the original beauty of marriage could be returned.

Lady Godknows