Checking Our Tempers

Temperance, the practice of controlling your
behaviour so that it is always  reasonable, is an inate longing in every human being. Unfortunately, the society and its components have become so gay  that reasonability is hardly the first instance in man’s actions.
Man is easily flared at the slightest provocation and can do the unimaginable  just to pass his feelings across. But, for how long will this continue and on whose  shoulders is the burden placed?
This question is apt because provocation flows from all  the segments of human existence-husband/wife, parents/children, siblings, colleagues, friends, business and political associates, brethren etcetera. Undoubtedly, the effect of temper loss at provocation most times is better unimagined.
It couldn’t have been for anything less than this that the age long, ever-existing book, the Holy Bible  recorded that as much as it lieth with you, follow peace with all men. Indeed, it never minced its words.
Tempers are raging everywhere in the society. Apthy was the incident that happened at Umuebele in Oyigbo Local government Area of Rivers State last year. A father, out of anger hit the head of his second son with a motar pistle over a little misunderstanding. The 19 year old boy, a year two undergraduate of Economics  was rushed  to the hospital and was few days after reported dead.
The father, of the deceased had the best knowledge  that his anger could take  that dimension. But it did and sure, he will ever remain with the guilt.
I remember  also in 1999 when a father, out of  the euphoria of the burial  celebration of a king whose life was considered well spent, shot  his son to death in Ahoada. Each  time I see this man, his wife  and children, the incident  comes alive in my memory and I know that in the midst of the stigma “the man who killed his son,” that  family would ever live with the guilt  and shame.
There was also another son who stabbed his father to death out of the anger that the man beat his wife, the boy’s mother. Cases abound over the media and the internet of similar situations especially of a mother who cut off the ears of her son including that of a staff who strangled his colleague  to death.
The absence of temper control has caused a great deal of havoc in so much that couples are divorced, parents and children are at variance, organisations in shambles, governments in disarray, and  of course anarchy in the entire system.
Beyond this is the impact on the nation and its sub-regions. The Niger Delta Militancy of 2007 and its succeeding year had a direct bearing on the  lack of temperance. The current Boko Haram insurgency  is traceable to the absence of temper control. What about the political brouhaha rocking both the  Sate and federal levels? It is not unconnected with lack  of temperance. And the escalation of churches? The  list goes on. Perhaps, the present economic situation is the anchor.
Temperance is a virtue that must be craved for by every human for a peaceful co-existence. Nevertheless, people at all levels show no paragon of virtue in the  discharge of their day to day actions. They forget the fact  that in whatever position they may serve, they are revealing motive and developing  character.
It should be noted that every association of life calls for  the exercise of self-control  and for bearance. We differ so widely in disposition, habits, education, that our perceptions vary. Our understanding and ideas in regard to the conduct of life are not in  all respects the same.
So frail, so ignorant, so liable to misconception is human nature that each should be careful in the estimate he places on the other. We little know the bearing of our acts upon the experience of others and thus, need to check our tempers.
We cannot afford to let our spirit chafe over any real or supposed wrong done to ourselves. Indeed, self  is the enemy we must need to fear  because no form of vice has a more baleful effect  upon the character than has the human passion not under control-temperance.
It’s high time we strived not to allow our feelings to be  easily wounded. Guard against retaliation and  remove all cause for misapprehension. Moreso because so long  as we are in the world, we shall meet with  adverse influences.
There will be provocations to test our tempers but then, the consistent life, the patient forbearance, the spirit unrufled under provocation, is always the most conclusive  argument and the most solemn appeal.
It is imperative that we check our tempers and infact, if you have had opportunities and advantages  that have not fallen to the lot of others, consider this, and be ever wise, careful, gentle and patient teacher,  servant, parent, child or leader.

Lady Godknows Ogbulu