Divorce: Solution To A Crumbling Marriage?

One of the institutions of God that
man has embraced with every sense of eagerness and satisfaction is marriage. It
is something  that everyman  and woman irrespective of religion or race
craves for.  It spreads joy across the
families of both the bride and groom, while ensuring sense of life’s
fulfillment in every being across the society.

It is highly esteemed, so much that the absence of it in the
life of an average man or woman poses some level of irresponsibility,  depression and even complex in the course of
life. Its attendant reverence and favour have rendered at a necessity to every
mature adult hence it has become a normalcy that in recent times, every weekend
is packed with marriage ceremonies in village squares, churches and event
places with happiness on the faces of attendants.

It is a worrisome however, that such an event of life with
all its show of beauty, creativity, joy and blessings could still be attended
to with levity, such that, the more wedding ceremonies, the more cases of
divorce, contrary to the oath of “till death do us part”.

To say however, that divorce is gradually topping the list of
cases attended to in the magistrate courts of late is to say the least, grossly
understatement.

Divorces, as it were, has become part of life among couples.
It is seen as the best option where any form of supposed irregularity is found
in a marriage. A supposed solution to a crumbling marital union. The shame and
stigma that hitherto attended this act have been so trivialized that  it no longer matters, afterall, life goes on.

Hence, The Tide’s women’s Desk was poised to find out
why many are opting out of an institution that others are yearning to embrace.

A close investigation on the issue reveals that there were
marriages that lasted for just a month. Very unique was the marriage that ended
just after the couple’s honey moon, where they parted ways on their way back
from the ‘moon.’

“Most women need partners that would share ideas and help
them accomplish their dreams. When these expectations are not met, it is rather
considered wise to opt out and get going” says a divorcee who pleaded anonymity

She explained that the incompatibility of the man and woman
is enough reason for the marriage not to continue because it could lead to an
untimely death of one of the partners.

According to her, some men are just irresponsible they don’t
want to be  committed in their
relationship. They are just after the conjugal bliss, a situation she endured
for three years after which she decided to call it a quit.

Mrs Celestina Hekerem, a banker with Eko Bank was of the view
that the present hard economy was a contributory factor to the issue of
divorce. According to her, today’s economy is very sophisticated and highly
demanding. It requires all hands (husband and wife) to be on deck for the family
to push on.

Apart from those that I would describe as being highly
favored by God, most couples are either unemployed or one of them making do
with one meager salary-paid job or the other.

It takes an enduring partner to stay through the marriage otherwise,
it is divorce, she said.

For Mr Toney Fiberesima, dishonesty could be the bane of any
marriage.

According to him, how could anyone continue with a marriage
entered into with the understanding that the bride is a virgin and later
discover that she is not.

Fiberesima maintained that marriage was supposed to be built
on sincerity and devoid of every form of pretence. Unfortunately, he noted that
most marriages are founded on untruthfulness and pretence and because they must
be exposed someday, the marriage can’t continue.

Doctors Blessing Amadi and Godstime Ike of the University of
Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital were of the view that infertility  among couples is a  major cause of divorce.  “Ofcourse, one of the basic reason of
marriage is for procreation and where this is absent after many years of
marriage, it is somehow bound to crash except for very few enduring couples.”
They added

They also revealed that the libido or romantic ability of a
partner can contribute to the rise and fall of a marriage.

Pastor Anyalebechi Nnunukwe of the Seventh Day Adventist
Church, Port Harcourt, attributed the cause of divorce to adultery, intolerance
and lack of patience among couples.

He said a lot of couples today for reasons known to them have
lost sight of the original nature of marriage – that a man would leave his
father and mother and cling to his wife and both of them shall become one
flesh, they have relegated this injunction by God and turned to sharing their
flesh with two or even multiple fleshes.
They are different entities coming together to live their lives and
share a common goal. This requires a high level of tolerance and patience.
Unfortunately, these virtues seem to be lacking in most couples resulting to
divorce.

On his part, Chief Nsan Enerene, said marriage is to foster
posterity. Your marriage should provide you with a son that will continue your
lineage. Your wife could give you only female children and you might be lenient
enough to pick another wife to give you a male child but your wife may not
agree with you and so, the best thing is to get divorced.

A 92-year old retiree of the Federal Civil Service, Pa Akande
Ishaya, lamented that today’s marriages are made up of youngsters who are
immature and lack knowledge of the nitty-gritty of marriage, this he views as a
major cause of divorce.

It seems that the quest for marriage among youngmen and women
has neglected the idea of  courtship
where most of these issues would have been resolved and the marriage formed
with every sense of understanding, tolerance and hopefulness.

Moreso, life itself is a check and balance, the absence of
which would result to unfathomable chaos. Thus, what cannot be changed, I
think, should be rationally endured thereby returning the original beauty of
marriage and then, it would be a worthwhile adventure.