Living one’s Religion

There are many heart aches that test one’s faith in his or her religion and, indeed, God: the anguish of long suffering, the loss of valuable property, the treachery of an ingrate, the tortures of jealousy, the agony of poor health, but there is nothing that rends the heart, that destroys all hope, that ruins a life, that weakens one’s faith as the death of a beloved one.
On Friday October 2, 2009, the cold hand of death took away from me and my wife our beloved and only surviving child, Master Vahana Ochonma, at a tender age of 14 years eight months. Vaha as he was fondly called returned from his school, Niger Delta Science school, Rives State College of Arts and Science, Rumuola, Port Harcourt hail and hearty on Monday September 28, 2009. Later that day he complained of pains.
We took Vaha to a private clinic first, but there was no significant improvement. So we moved him to the university of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital. Up till 2.00 p.m. that faithful Friday both of us had a father-and-son chat. Though lying in his sick bed, he assured us that he was strong and even asked for food. Thereafter, it was a bewildering battle. Doctors, nurses, everyone there fought relentlessly to stop the merciless hand of death from snatching Vaha away but to no avail. At exactly 2.30 p.m. Vaha started his journey to the far country, the glories above. Our flood of tears could not stop him. The love we share could not stop him. Our lofty plans for him could not stop him. And his dream to become a medical doctor could not stop him.
Vaha had a most promising and envious future. He was a wonderful child so intelligent, so dutiful, so handsome, so thoughtful, and so full of life, velocity, and love that my wife and I were content with him as the only child. He was a child of humorous, courteous, cheerful, and honest disposition. From the tributes of his teachers, mates, friends, and relations to him, Vaha touched the lives of the people he met on his short sojourn in this world of tears, sorrow, struggle and sweat. Describing his nature, one of his teachers who came to commiserate with us repeatedly said in a very sober tone: “Vahana was a good boy”. His Eminence, Sir Dr. Chukumela Nnam Obi II (OON JP) Oba (Eze Ogba) of Ogbaland and Chairman, Rivers State Council of Traditional Rulers who also came to console us said that Vaha was not dead because he will continue to live in the heart of his admirers.
Vaha, my son, was my brother and my friend. He was my Researcher, Liberian, Special Assistant, Adviser, and Confidant. He was my motivation for work. To my wife, the mother, he was everything. Vaha was a jewel of inestimable value.
As I write this piece, I remember the words he regularly used to propel me to write this column. He would remind me: “Daddy, you have not down loaded for this week”. So you see why I could not “down load” for the past three weeks.
Life without Vaha will be a terrible challenge to me. As I try to write this piece with tears welling up my eyes, a question continues to swim across my mind: What is it that each and everyone of us seeks in life? I think each and everyone of us needs a child or children in a family to give him or her an anchor, to give him roots in this earth. We need more than power, wealth, and fame to make us human. We need love, kindness and affection to learn the true values in the world. We need happiness, success, peace of mind. We need more life.
We avoid cross roads, crisis. Now I know better that crisis is a part of life. With its different sizes, colours and shapes, it comes when it will come. When we face crisis, we face a decision. In a crisis situation, we are like a patient who either gets worse and dies, or gets better and lives. Since the death of Vaha 26 days ago my wife and I have been inundated with stories of people who faced terrible crisis. Some got over their crises and lived while others could not and they died.
And so I ask again. What is it that each and everyone of us seeks in life? Sri Harold Klemp, a writer and spiritual says that what we should look for is a greater ability to meet our life. In his words: “When any thing comes up, instead of being plowed under by the forces of life, flattened by the steamrollers of the negative forces, we say, I have the temple within myself and we figure out what to do. It will give an idea, a nudge to take the next step to figuring a way out of the predicament”.
Now my wife and I are facing the practical aspects of our religious teachings. And so do others faced with one crisis or the other.
In spite of the numerous pathways man has been led through, living one’s religion is to live a full spiritual life each day. This involves absolute self-surrender to the will of God. It involves finding heaven no matter what our outer circumstances may be. It involves giving love to God and our fellow creatures and also accepting same whether it comes in form of religion, gifts, kind words, challenges or crisis. Then no matter the vicissitutes of life we can always find at least a little bit of happiness every day. I think this is possible for those who desire to live their religion.

vincent Ochonma