Women are the inherent part of our society who cannot
be neglected, notwithstanding their less power and authority. Roles of womanhood in the society is one that can never be ignored by any individual.
Women are so important and indispensable that they cannot be confined to their houses. This is moreso as they have in recent times, proven themselves to be active members of the society in many areas of endeavours.
In order for a society to be progressive, both men and women should think, dress and behave in ways that allow pure thoughts and actions to dominate the ways of life and create a social climate conducive for the achievement of the real goal of life.
It is on this bases that I bring to the fore the ordeals faced by women upon the death of their husbands despite all they go through as women in homes and the society as if they were no longer humans.
Bereavement is a social fact in any culture, but reactions and practices relating to this vary from culture to culture.
Many people never ponder over what happens to a man who loses his wife to the cold hand of death? Why is it that cruel practices are not meted on widower and nobody hears of any thing like custom and tradition when a man loses his wife? Are all these still pointing to the world being that of men?
There is something called widowhood rites in most parts of Africa and may be in other parts of the world too. These are specific things that the wife of a deceased man has to fulfill, but there is no such thing as widower rites. If anybody knows of any that fellow should indicate.
When a wife dies, society sympathises with the widower. When a husband dies, the community starts questioning the circumstances surrounding the death of the man and examine invincible motives that his wife may have to kill him. Without any proof or trail, widows are accused of killing their husbands. It becomes mandatory to show public display of emotions so that people will see how distressed the widow is. Widows who do not cry (screaming and shouting) are considered heartless and unconventional. But it is forgotten that shock sometimes make people unable to cry and that the level, height and magnitude of the wailing do not ascertain innocence or magnitude of pain.
In certain parts of Nigeria, the maltreatment of widows is common so do other African countries. In-laws and the community subject them to physical and emotional abuses such as being made to sit at the back of the door and on the floor, being confined from a month to one year, having their hair literally scrapped off with razor or broken bottles, not being allowed to observe personal hygiene; being made to routinely weep in public; being forced to drink the water used to wash their husbands’ corpse among other atrocities, then crowned by the loss of inheritance rights and eviction.
When a woman loses her husband, a civilized society should rally round to support her and her children, not the reverse. Causing her more pain than she is already going through at the death of the bread winner is just plain evil.
There are many reasons why widows go through this problem, but it is hardly ever for justice. Some families use it as a strategy to get back at the widow especially if they did not approve of the marriage and also if it is perceived that the woman was a hindrance to partaking in their brother’s wealth, they take away the property that the deceased left behind regardless if he had children or left a will. In other communities, it is just mandatory to go through the process because it is considered a thing of shame to lose your husband.
Widowhood in the traditional African context is a religio-cultural symbol that can have profound spiritual implications for the widow. Other levels of reality that widowhood symbolizes include the awareness that African Society is oppressive, impoverishing and violent towards widows. As seen when relatives of the deceased husbands commit atrocities in the name of tradition against widows and the widow herself may encounter destructive emotional problems such as fear and anger coupled with health deterioration.
Most women lack the knowledge that it is their right to report such matters to the police, others lack the money to follow procedures, but most often they fear the consequences of trying to report this violation of their human rights because most times the police do send back cases like this to be handled by the family by describing it as a family matter or customary. What will be such a woman’s fate?
Women in power like the Permanent Secretrary, Rivers State Ministry of Women Affairs, Dr Justina Jumbo, during this year’s International Widow’s Day celebration had advised women all over the world never to be idle, but equip themselves by having a means of livelihood, irrespective of their status, to be economically stable in the society. Facts have it that 115 million widows in the world live in poverty, suffer stigmatization and economic deprivation as a result of their husbands’ demise.
Communities generally, men and boys specifically must be assisted to recognise and understand the widows disadvantaged situation in order to be aided to take steps to help them overcome it. Through social widowhood education, men and women can be enabled collectively and individually to take full control over their lives and situations so as to overcome problems of irrational beliefs, superstition, ignorance, illiteracy and psychological suppression.
In order for widows in Africa to be integrated into the support systems of their communities, they need a friendly culture which specifies dignified ways in which the community expects them to behave and how they should be treated by their kin and those of their deceased husbands.
Culture, tradition and law have been identified as the bane of safe widowhood practices in Nigeria, which, if not adequately addressed , are capable of undermining the realisation of some goals in Nigeria.
Let me borrow from Senator Esuene’s speech: Cultural and traditional practices constitute more than 70 per cent of the problems of widows in Nigeria. Even where marriages were contracted under the ordinance, cultural practices will be experienced especially where the widow is ignorant of her right or is financially incapacitated to fight the legal battle. Unfortunately, it is the conflict in the marriage law that is the root of the inheritance problem to widows.”
State Houses of Assembly should speed up actions on all legislations to remove legal obstacles to social justice for women. Appeal also goes to traditional rulers and elders of communities to take a closer look at evil widowhood practices with a view to amending or eradicating them.
In the light of the foregoing, men should set their homes in order by writing legally viable wills before their deaths and wives attaining some type of economic independence from their husbands. Also, there should be legal backing that is, enactment of laws for widows’ protection. Women should in the same way try to be in good terms with their husbands and family members as it is often the extended family members who engineer the execution of the harmful practices.
Women groups, NGOs and government wings for women should carry out sensitisation and awareness campaigns in communities, meet with community heads and elders. Re-education campaigns for women because it is women that carry out the outrageous practices on their fellow women. Provisions should be made for suffering widows, empowerment for women so as to stand up for themselves and challenge particularly cruel and unjust rituals and cultural practices.
Issues around mourning, remarriage, inheritance, status in the household and society should be given serious attention.
Solving the problems of widows in Africa means addressing the inequitable power regimes characterised by vulnerability, stigma, discrimination and suffering.
Widows should be celebrated and encouraged at all times they are victimized. Celebrate them always especially every 23rd June as International Widows’ Day.
Ogbonda is an intern with The Tide.
Consequences Of High Bride Price
Bride price is payment made by a groom or his kin to the family of the bride in order to ratify a marriage. It is paid by the family of the groom to their future in-laws at the start of the marriage usually in cash and materials.
Bride price in Nigeria varies from one ethnic group to another. What obtains as bride price in Rivers State may be different from Kogi State in terms of cash and materials required by the bride’s family. Although there are a few similarities in the list of items to be provided by the groom in Nigeria.
It also varies from family to family. Some families collect as low as N5,000 while others collect as high as N1,000,000.
There are criticisms that this African tradition of paying bride price to the bride’s family before marriage degrades a woman by putting a required monetary value on a wife.But those who support the tradition uphold it as a cherished cultural and religious symbol of marriage.
Some families see bride price as symbolic, hence they ask for less. I have seen a situation where the mother of the bride collected N30,000 and later gave it back to the couple, asking them to put it in their bank account so that it will serve as a “starter pack”. This shows that she wasn’t really giving her out for money.
In our local setting, a marriage is recognised only when bride price and gift items have been presented to the bride’s family. It is important because it validates marriage to give a woman respectable status in the society as a wife.
The importance of bride price can never be over-emphasised. It is one of the highest honours confirming a bride’s value and womanhood, giving a husband the full rights to the economic and reproductive powers of his wife. It is an honour bestowed on the parents that their daughter is getting married.
I see nothing wrong in payment of bride price but in recent time, the issue of high bride price seems to be competitive among families whose daughters are ripe for marriage.It is alarming and heart-breaking how newly-wedded couples end up paying debts years after marriage. When demanding for high bride price, some parents do not realise the fact that the yet-to-be couple will plan for church and court (Registry). The Registry requires little token. Although, the clergy will not ask, but the couple need to settle one or two things in church.
More worrisome is the fact that some parents demand a live cow from an in-law as if the lady is to be exchanged. I know of a culture where cow must be provided to her kinsmen by the surviving husband or children before a late woman must be buried. The claim is that the man didn’t complete the marriage rites before the death if the woman. This is just to extort money from the late woman’s children.
A young man was mandated to pay about N2million to the wife’s kins after losing her during child birth, simply because he never completed marriage rites. What about the welfare of the surviving child?
A situation where a basin of fish that costs over N200,000 must be presented in the name of bride price for a traditional marriage to be contracted gave me concern.
A father also demanded about N1million as dowry for his daughter. For Christ’s sake, no amount of money collected as bride price can pay all the expenses from birth to University level of a lady as this is the dream of greater percentage of our parents nowadays. No amount of money can buy a woman. “Her value is inestimable”.
High bride price can cause disharmony between husband and his in-laws. A young man was lamenting that after his marriage, his in-laws can never be allowed into his family. This is as a result of whatever high bride price they would have charged.
High bride price can cause a man to exhibit violent behaviours when he remembers how much he paid. He gets angry at every little thing the wife does which can lead to domestic violence. The implication is that the woman will suffer in silence with the fear that the man may demand for the high bride price if she leaves the marriage.
Income from her job or personal business is seen by the man as his. She is being denied freedom on using her income and often leads to a situation where the husband must be consulted before any monetary transaction in the family. This leads to hostile marital environment and can destabilise the marriage.
Man dominates the woman in terms of decision-making. The woman has little say or nothing when issues come up in the home. He can say: “Don’t talk, I paid heavily”.
One of the consequences of high bride price is that if perhaps divorce occurs, the bride and the family, according to customary norms, have to return the dowry. If the dowry were very expensive to the tune of N1million, they may not be able to pay back.
High bride price encourages gender inequality. It reduces the power and prestige of the woman with the perception that she was paid for.
High bride price leads to poverty. A couple may have been forced to incur debts in the course of marriage. These are young men and women who are starting life perhaps after graduation and have not made enough savings. Paying back debts incurred during weddings for two to three years should be discouraged.
For many young men, withdrawal syndrome sets in when they remember that they have to provide as much as N1million to marry a wife. You see someone going to marry at the age 50 because he didn’t have enough. Even the ladies are also affected here. Some men get scared of going into such families or ethnic groups for marriage. When will they train their children?
No matter the status of the groom, minimal amount should be fixed for dowry to avoid certain consequences in future. Family of the bride should take cognizance of the fact that their daughter deserves some comfort in her new home.
It is high time the traditional institutions worked through their subjects in the various communities to create awareness on the dangers of high bride price in our society.
Community heads who are saddled with the responsibility of marriage functions and rites should be advised to cut down some of the items and reduce the costs of available ones.
I call on local government councils to work with traditional rulers, community and family heads as well as women leaders to come out with minimum and maximum amount of money and other items needed as bride price and dowry.
It should be domesticated in the by-laws of the local councils across Nigeria.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
Away With Open Grazing
It was reported recently that the Federal Government had mapped out 30 grazing reserves for the implementation of a National Livestock Transformation Plan (NLTP) under its Green Initiative project.
According to the report, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Agriculture, Dr Andrew Kwasari, disclosed this while addressing journalists on the move by the government to resolve the persistent conflict between herders and farmers over land, water and pastures.
“The 19 Northern States have grazing reserves. So far, we have mapped out over 30 grazing reserves and on paper, we have over 400 grazing reserves.
“So, the northern governors have to be committed to working with the Federal Government, Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development, supervision of the NEC, to make sure that wherever those grazing reserves are found that we are able to convert them into lush green models specifically for pastoralists, and pastoralists will not migrate anymore…” Kwasari said.
He further disclosed that traditional rulers like the Gbom-Gbom Jos had been consulted and they suggested that the low hanging fruit for federal and state governments was to ensure that pastoralists were settled in gazette grazing reserves.
The presidential aide also said that this would take away any notion of land grabbing or taking of land from communities and giving to herders as was feared with the government’s stillborn Rural Grazing Areas (RUGA) programme.
It would be recalled that the NLTP was launched by Vice President Yemi Osinbajo in the Gongoshi Grazing Reserve, Mayo-Belwa LGA of Adamawa State, in September 2019. The plan was to run from 2019 to 2028 as part of the federal government’s Green Initiative in collaboration with states, farmers, pastoralists and private sector investors under the auspices of the National Economic Council (NEC).
NLTP has a budget of N100 billion for the breeding of cattle and other types of livestock. Of this amount, the federal government would contribute 80% as grant only, while the participating states were expected to raise the remaining 20%, donate land, draw up the project implementation structure, and provide workers.
Besides Adamawa, the programme has also taken off in six other pilot states; namely Benue, Kaduna, Nasarawa, Plateau, Taraba and Zamfara. Others which were reported to have voluntarily joined the initiative include Anambra, Ebonyi, Edo, Ekiti and Ondo States.
Given the foregoing, any peace-loving Nigerian would be tempted to assume that a viable solution has finally been figured out for the perennial herders-farmers crisis in the country. But President Muhammadu Buhari’s recent charge to his Attorney General and Minister of Justice, Abubakar Malami (SAN), to identify the country’s gazetted grazing routes leaves one wondering if, indeed, he was acting from the same script as Osinbajo and Kwasari.
If there ever was any doubt as to the Presidency’s rejection of the collective decision of the southern governors to outlaw open grazing in their respective states, such was cleared by the President himself in his recent exclusive interview on Arise TV.
“What I did was ask him (Malami) to go and dig the gazette of the First Republic when people were obeying laws. There were cattle routes and grazing areas…
“I asked for the gazette to make sure that those who encroached on these cattle routes and grazing areas will be dispossessed in law and try to bring some order back into cattle grazing,” Buhari emphasised.
Honestly, I had wished that the President’s directive to the nation’s chief law officer was aimed at recovering only grazing reserves for the NLTP scheme as Kwasari did announce. But his inclusion of cattle routes suggests that Buhari is still not considering letting go of the now outdated nomadic grazing practice in Nigeria.
And just as the Miyetti Allah Cattle Breeders Association of Nigeria (MACBAN) wasted no time in rallying behind the man, so also was his position quick in drawing flaks from socio-cultural bodies like Afenifere, Ohaneze Ndigbo and the Pan-Niger Delta Forum (PANDEF) all of which insisted that the power to allocate land rested with the state governors and not the President.
Of particular interest was the reaction of Afenifere’s publicity secretary, Jare Ajayi: “Who designated specific routes as exclusively belonging to those who would be grazing cows? If you are doing this kind of thing in their own area, it is understandable (because) that is in their own area.
“I have not read anywhere that our forefathers sat down and agreed that these particular routes, maybe from Ogbomosho to Saki or Badagry, are for grazing…”
Again, some analysts have expressed the fear that if Buhari insisted on pursuing the recovery of grazing routes, prominent buildings in many parts of the country, including the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), would be pulled down.
I still don’t get why Mr. President is seriously reaching for the list of cattle routes in First Republic Nigeria even when the 1979 Land Use Act entrusted governors with the control of their states’ lands years after the now sought-after gazette was published. With such power, can’t a state chief executive reapportion any previously gazetted grazing route or reserve located in his domain?
Buhari should please focus on promoting sedentary animal husbandry through the NLTP scheme in order to reduce the existing tension in the land. A good leader should be able to ensure peace in his domain even if he has to bend over backward to achieve it.
By: Ibelema Jumbo
Short, Sharp, Shock-Treatment
There was a recent allusion from the Nigerian President, or the Presidency, about the possibility of some impending shock, meant to restore sanity in the country. It came as a warning to those who were alleged to be intent on destroying or destabilising Nigeria via insurgency, agitation and causing mayhem. Therefore, it has become needful to alert Nigerians about Nature’s Standing Order of Short, sharp, shock treatment (SSST), as a mechanism of restoring order when humans allow disorder to grow too high. In truth, there is such mechanism in the scheme of things.
Those who are familiar with Jewish cosmogony via the Kabbalah, would know that there is a flow of Divine influx, also known as Zazahot or lighting flash, which is an up-building and a restorative system. The 5th anchorage of that Divine Circuit system known as Geburah or Judgement has the duty or responsibility of restoring order and bringing about a balance, when disorder and imbalance become overwhelming in creation or a section thereof. Disorder and imbalances usually come from humans.
Being endowed with a free will and the freedom to make personal decisions and choices, which are often mis-used, humans bring about disorders and imbalances which distort the beauty and harmony of creation. Accumulation of massive impurities would necessitate a cleansing process to reduce the results of human engagements in acts of impunity, shamelessness and irresponsibility. Before catastrophies come there are usually warnings.
In the case of Nigeria, the warning signals have been persistent and loud enough even for obtuse persons to be aroused to a state of alertness. Nature has a process of educating human beings through bitter personal and collective experiences. No one can say that such warning signals and bitter experiences have not been there for quite some time. As a process of ensuring justice, there are watchers and weavers whose activities in the 100m of destiny entail monitoring the deeds of everyone with utmost accuracy. There are also provisions for deep reflections and possible redressing of imbalances.
Nigeria has been brought to its current sad state of affairs through many follies and deliberate acts of mischief. From Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala’s book Reforming The Unreformable, we are told that more than 5,000 board seats existed as sinecure, with political leaders having enormous patronage powers. We are told that a bad public service is certain to produce bad governance, even if the right accountability and other mechanisms are in place. Thus, there is a spiral of malfeasance.
From public service system, to tertiary education, we are told that “a systemic rot has befallen Nigeria”, apart from “inflating the budget by doubling or tripling the allocations…” Even with the Nigeria Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative (NEITI) bill which was approved in May 2007, there was no transparency or accountability in Nigeria’s oil and gas sector. In both physical and process audit there are deficiencies in management and utility.
Okonjo-Iweala advised that “special care be taken to ensure that oil revenues are spent wisely to build up durable long-term assets whose benefits can be shared with future generations”. Nigeria’s great dependence on oil and gas whose vulnerability to global volatility of commodity market are important factors in the country’s need to reshape its economic structure and growth based on diversification. With regards to corruption, Okonjo-Iweala said that “cynicism about the fight against is greatest when allegations of corrupt acts on the part of the elite are not investigated with any vigour even when investigated …”
If human verdict is reflected in the dismal and sad score card available in the public domain, then the verdict of the watchers and weavers of human destinies must also be far worse. There are indications globally that visibly gathering dark storms would surely result in some catastrophes whose true nature no one can tell accurately. For Nigeria as an individual nation in the global family, it is obvious that the shock alluded to by the President is an omen of things to come.
However, no one is in a position to predict exactly the nature and intensity of the shock the president had in mind. Reacting to the President’s statement, a number of Nigerians expressed sadness that it was a warning to agitators who allegedly are trying to destabilise and disunite Nigeria. But the situation obviously goes beyond current activities of political agitators and bandits.
Normally it takes a long time for storms to amass such power that would result in a destructive shock. Therefore, it would be myopic and wrong to judge the Nigerian situation from a one-sided perspective. Across the globe, Nigeria features as one of the delicate zones where some shocks are most likely to arise. Already harbingers of warning signals include activities of Boko Haran and other agitators for Islamic states and sharia laws, spate of kidnappings and demand for ransom, etc. The commando-rescue-style of an American farmer held hostage in Northern Nigeria placed Nigeria as a vulnerable nation.
Prelude to any coming shock usually includes complacence arising from gluttony over loots. The fact that a few highly-placed Nigerians tried to exonerate late General Sani Abacha of accusations of looting, despite exposures of such deeds, is another evidence of a nation which needs a shock to regain sanity. It takes the collaboration of humans through various activities, to serve as agents in the fulfillment of the mechanism of destiny. Such human agents rarely know that they are serving the course of Nemesis.
Unlike the Nigerian Civil War (1967-1970) with its attendant miseries and woes, SSST comes as mechanism of Divine intervention, to ensure that those who deserve to die, die the death they deserve. It is fast and thorough, with long-lasting effect. It is a weapon of sective elimination.
Dr Amirize is a retired lecturer from the Rivers State University, Port Harcourt.
- Sports3 days ago
Okagbare Sets New Record At Olympic Trials
- Featured3 days ago
APC’s Ploy To Ban, Regulate Social Media, Hypocritical, Wike Affirms
- Politics1 day ago
APC: C’River LP Disowns Decampees
- Oil & Energy3 days ago
Total Nigeria Advocates Petroleum Subsidy Removal
- Oil & Energy3 days ago
Buhari Thumbs Up For NLNG As NNPC Reviews Activities
- Sports1 day ago
CAF Mulls Super League Idea
- Politics3 days ago
Okorocha Cautions Igbos On Secession
- Editorial3 days ago
As New Rivers LG Chairmen Assume Office…