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Women

‘Sagging Is An Irresponsible Way Of Dressing’

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Tammy Clarizza, popularly called Tammy Abusi is a dynamic
multi talented lady; who amongst her many skills, loves to build lives and put
smiles on the faces of people especially the helpless.

She is the CEO of Rolling “b” Production Limited and Miss
Blossom Beauty Services.

A mother of two, Tammy Clarizza tells the story of her
childhood, her ministry, the Messy Ms Mysteries as well as her view on the
vogue.

What could you remember about your childhood?

Oh! my childhood, growing up as a child for me was very
blissful. I grew up in Ibadan; I had my mum and dad. I would say I had
everything going for me as a child. I didn’t really have an ugly childhood
because my parents were fairly rich. My dad could afford the basic things that
any child could desire in today’s society.

The only thing for me, about my childhood that is a bit
confusing was that I was in a catholic primary school but we were Anglicans. So
I was mixed up, from Monday through Friday I was a catholic and then Saturday
and Sunday I was an Anglican. So, I didn’t quite understand each time we came
to church on Sunday, the prayers offered and the songs they sang, conflicted
with the ones I recited at school Mondays through Fridays and at a time, I
didn’t really have that bond with my parents, we didn’t have that kind of
relationship most children have as in walking up to mum or dad to ask questions
on issues bugging one’s mind and so growing up as a child I had to stomach all
of those I had to just stay in that confusion and I grew with it.

The conflict in religious doctrines did it in any way affect
your development?

Well to an extent I would say yes. Though after I had
finished my primary school, I didn’t have anything to do with the Catholic
Church again of course that was the formation years of my life and I had
understood the basic things about the catholic religion.

My prayers were a bit muddled up but thank God for God
because he understands us. I prayed, I said the “Hail Mary” even though I was
an Anglican and I tried to read the rosary and it wasn’t making sense and then
I started learning the Anglican confession and all of that.

However, as a teenager when I got into the secondary school
I guess I found my footing and the S.U, (Scripture Union) thing was on and I
became an SU member, that was another dimension of Christianity and I just felt
I should stick to this one and try and make some good out of it and somehow I
was able to stablise.

What is this idea of Messy Ms Mysteries all about?

Messy Ms Mysteries is a ministry, a calling borne out of my
passion and personality. As a person I love the entertainment world and I began
to understand that God needed me to impact lives in that area. And because of
the peculiarity of my person, he needed me to do something very different.

Messy Ms Mysteries is simply the mystery of God in the mess
of a Ms.

Now I say this because at a time in my life I became lonely,
rejected and felt abandoned and just needed God to put things back in place for
me. Of course I got married ’94 and by ’98 my marriage crashed and I was all by
myself thinking I had lost everything.
Of course I had a son then and I just needed God to sought my life out
and in the midst of all of that, He began to speak to me, and showed me his
grace. Ofcourse I delved into all kinds of things within that period.

God reassured me and said “in this mess you have found
yourself, my mysteries can still be unveiled and that was what gave birth to my
ministry so basically it is a ministry that is not popular in the sense that we
don’t handled the regular things that you hear people talk about in churches
and other set-ups.

So, How Does This Ministry Function?

We encourage people that are lesbians not to continue
instead we let them know that God is against it and that they can actually come
out of it no matter how difficult it may pose to be. We talk to the
prostitutes, we talk to women; single mothers precisely, separated women,
victims of rape and those who are lonely, who need a shoulder to lean on and
cry to, alcoholics and different people that are not very popular in the
society. These are the kind of people God has called us to attend to and by his
grace, we are doing the much we can.

What is your experience in the ministry?

Of course you know that when you delve into things like
this, those are the areas that the devil would want to try you as a person. I
wouldn’t say it’s been very rosy, but the grace of God has been sufficient.

Over time, God proves to me again and again that it is what
he will have me do. The truth is that every single individual I encounter, in
the cause of my life, I run a multi level marketing consultancy, and I tell
you, most of the people that come around me may have the original intention of
doing business with me but they end up doing ministry with me. I just realize
that in every function I found myself, young girls gravitate towards me.

I also realize that people that are hopeless are the ones
that come around me.

My office is my church, my home is my church, I don’t have a
particular building for my ministry, but I house people I don’t know their
identities, strangers both male and female. So, everything I do in my life, God
uses it to confirm his calling in my life.

I’m optimistic that someday, sometimes, we are going to have
a building where we can house every person and minister to both their spiritual
and physical needs.

So far, what are the programmes executed by your ministry?

This is the 7th year of the ministry, it was inaugurated in
2005, I run programmes from time to time, I’ve had conferences, I have also had
offshoots of our ministry, eg: Miss Blossom Beauty Pageant, a pageant that
started in 2009. We call it “Mentoring the girl-child.”

You know the pageantry has been abused; people now use it as
a way of indecent exposure and all of that.

So in 2009, I began to look at that area of ministry because
if you look at pageantry it actually started from the Bible, it was the process
through which Esther emerged Queen in the bible and God began to speak to me
that these young girls need to be mentored. So, we run the pageantry we don’t
do the Bikini. We try to teach them how to dress decently.

We also bring fashion designers together, we make them
interprete their fabrics in a decent way. For those that don’t know Christ we
try to get them born again in camp, we bring in multivational speakers as well
as undertake career counseling and at the end of the day a queen emerges.

This queen works with us in the ministry, we go to secondary
schools to talk to girls about sex, relationship, how to choose their friends,
their expectations, emotions and things like that.

You’ve just mentioned your involvement?? with
fashion designers, what exactly is fashion?

Fashion is a general term that people.

You’ve just mentioned your involvement with fashion
designers, what exactly is fashion?

popularly used for a trend, it could be clothing, shoes,
make-up. It is seasonal. In short, it is a general term.

As for me, I think fashion is relative to the person
involved.

Is everything en vogue fashionable?

Of course everything en vogue must not be fashionable and
when you talk about people trying to key into the vogue, I think there is a bit
of  challenge there. For me it has a
little question on the person involved.

Like the guys for instance, when you talk about the way they
were their trousers, “sagging” is a very irresponsible way of dressing if you
ask me, and they call is fashion so what are we talking about, they are trying
to emulate somebody of course somebody starts a fashion and they want to be
like that person. So for me, it is a question on your character, it means you
are not an individual of yourself.

You don’t have a personality of your own and you try to want
to use this fashion to become something so that people will take note of you
that’s the way I see it.

Does your fashion
define your person?

Of course there is a popular saying that  you are addressed by the way you are dressed.
But for those who just want to identify with the vogue, for me that’s a bit
shallow. It is not because I don’t wear what others wear but I feel it is not
compulsory at the instance of the fashion.

Sometimes they might say short skirts are en vogue and
everybody is crazy about it. At that time for me it is not fashionable because
everybody is doing it. But I could have an event where I think oh1 I think I
need to wear something short, with a high shoe and I go ahead and wear it.

Do you think that what you wear has any impact on the
upcoming generation?

Ofcourse definitely, if you are a known person, it is only
natural that people look up to you and when you dress or carry on in a
particular way, people want to believe that, that is what is right because they
see you as a symbol and they believe that whatever you do is what ought to be
so definitely people will look up to you for that.

What’s your advice to known names in the society?

Well I would say that people who have made names in the
society should try to be moderate and know that there are a lot of young people
that are looking up to them ofcourse I know that there are different
professions which also determine fashions like those in the entertainment
industry, there is a particular way they believe they should dress depending on
what they are trying to portray and the kind of image that they stand for. In
all, I think moderation should still be applied.

Seven Years Down The Line, How Would You Assess The Impact
Of Messy Ms Mysteries?

The impact of my ministry I would say, is basically what has
kept me going, it has given me hope and fulfillment. As an individual, I have a
lot of challenges ofcourse I have my children that I tend for, the financial
challenges of my business and that of my extended family, but these young girls
and ladies that have come in contact with me within this period, I have seen
people that literally could not stand to talk before three persons, they have
become presenters. I have seen hopeless young girls, today they are standing
and they are able to say this is who I am. I have seen young girls who have
metamorphosed in my eyes and become some bodies because they came in contact
with me. I have indeed seen God in action in these seven years.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

What Women Want In Yet-To -Be Husbands

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What women want in their yet-to- be husbands matters a lot as far as marriage is concerned.
A woman desires a good fnancial prospect. Interestingly, some modern women place a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past.
Many decades ago, women ranked it lower on the list. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realise that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Good health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so these days. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage. Women are anxious to know that their partners are healthy to be able to run the family together.
You discover that in most faith based organisations, would- be couples are mandated to go for medical tests to ascertain their health status as it concerns HIV/AIDS, Genotype and other related ones. This according to stakeholders is to ensure that couples raise healthy families.
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still being considered even if women nowadays are thriving in the workforce competing with the male folk. It may be because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but are not looking for him to be the sole provider.
More women want husbands with pleasing disposition. They may not want a man who is always moody. A man who is always cheerful is whom they desire.
Surprisingly, a man’s likes do not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women are more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood he may be.
Sociability from both men and women rank very high on their marriag material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list for many years. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
A lot of couples want to associate with others and then socialise. Attending parties of other friends forms part of their marriage requirements.
Women have placed education and intelligence top making it one of their most desirable male traits for decades. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college education themselves. Once education becomes important in women’s lives, it is a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
Of course when a woman is educated, she is likely to go for an educated man. When they are gainfully employed, their income boost the family affairs faster.
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. Men who have desire for their home and children is whom they desire.
After a days job, a man will come home to ensure that his children are comfortable. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
A woman wants a man who is emotionally stable and mature. Growing big physically is not the issue but maturity in the heart.
Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter.
A woman wants a man who is not easily provoked. Dependable character is what some women want in marriage.
Women want husbands that they can count on, and this has not changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouses to be lovers and friends, they also want them to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that their husbands will be there and remain loyal. Men, too, desire dependable character from their yet-to be wives.
Mutual attraction and love from the first appearance is what they want till they become old.
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. Some no longer look for a man who will provide everything, afterall they are also educated and are gainfully employed, they want to be in love.
For some women, even when the man do not provide household needs, the love shown on her is enough. When women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they desired love . The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.

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Women

Echoes Of IWD : Need To Invest In Women

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As this year’s Internatinal Women’s Day (IWD) has come and gone, there are calls from different quarters on the need to invest in women so that we can achieve accelerated growth.
It was, indeed, a thing of joy when Rivers Women Unite For Sim, took delivery of large quantities of sanitary towels and some bags of rice provided them for this year’s celebration.
Many young women expressed joy that they got such gesture since some of them have financial problems getting sanitary towels whenever they are on.
Some secondary school students were also lucky to have a share of the benefits. They also got some sanitary towels.
The Rivers State Commissioner for Women Affairs organised a platform to celebrate and honour the women for the remarkable jobs they perform in their homes and society.
Addressing women on the occasion, the Hon. Commissioner for Women Affairs, Dr. Roseline Apawari Uranta, noted that women from time immemorial have been great pillars in achieving remarkable heights and stressed that IWD across the globe is pivotal all women for the roles they play in bringing, nurturing and sustaining life.
Dr. Uranta said that IWD, which started in 1911 and celebrated annually on March 8, is a global day that provides women a platform to address economic inclusion, participation in political and public life.
She said the day was set aside to look into lack of access to education for the girl-child, gender-based violence, child marriage, child trafficking, harmful cultural practices as well as other challenges facing women around the globe.
The Hon. Commissioner, who described March 8 as a day to celebrate the socio-economic, cultural and political achievements of women, emphasised that it is a day that offers women the opportunity to reflect on progressive achievements.
Noting that it is an opportunity to call for change, she stressed that it is also an opportunity to celebrate acts of courage and every achievement made by ordinary women who did extraordinary things and are remembered in history.
She noted that the IWD2024 theme:”Invest In Women, Accelerate Progress”, is timely and apt because according to her, to achieve gender equality, we must ensure that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of women do not elude them.
Her words: ” We must see investing in women as a human right issue and consider investing in women as a social tool to eradicate poverty since women are helpmeet in the homes while a handful are breadwinners in their respective families”.
The commissioner urged women to uphold the deliberate act of investing in themselves, be it furthering formal education, developing a new skill as well as learning a trade.
“Shun idleness, always find something positive and productive to do, regardless of your age, social status and financial capabilities”, she said.
In a paper presentation, Dr. Dabota God’swill Jumbo, reiterated that investing in women would attract good and positive dividends to herself and the society at large and noted that it is essential in addressing poverty, hunger and climate change.
The guest speaker said women need more opportunities in elective and appointive positions, hence the need to encourage and support them in politics.
According to her, when you invest in women, they will be able to create safer environment devoid of gender-based violence.
In a goodwill message, the spokesperson, Rivers Women Unite For Sim, Mrs Charity Deemua appreciated the organisers for making it possible for women to gather and celebrate themselves.
She commended those who created a day like March 8 of every year to celebrate women and regretted that the girl-child was seen as a second-class person decades ago.
The former commissioner, Rivers State House of Assembly Commission, described those who taught it wise for women to celebrate as conquerors, tough and strong.
International Association of World Peace Advocates, a world-class organisation with the United Nations, honoured different categories of women.
In Cross River State, 150 women were empowered with about N15m to boost their small and medium scale businesses.
According to stakeholders, the women empowerment is vital in addressing social, economic and political challenges and will make them self-reliant.
An NGO, Association of Professional Women Engineering Technologists (APWET), said it’s aim is to promote professional excellence among engineering personnel, advocating for women and girl-child education.
With what we saw in terms of response to women’s call on issues affecting them from relevant authorities, we are optimistic that the women will do better whenever they are empowered.
If we must kick out cervical, breast and other forms of cancer in women, underage marriage, prostitution, we must invest in women.
There were goodwill messages from National Council for Women Societies (NCWS), International Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA), Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN), Nigeria Copyright Commission (NCC, Nigeria Association of Female Journalists (NAWOJ), among others.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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